Accidents Happen
by Iffy Jr
Summary: Derek/Stiles post-season 3a. "Deaton managed to get Stiles in on a little experiment of his that involves mixing all sorts of things with wolfsbane to see what effects they'll have on the werewolves… Stiles may or may not be way more adamant about it than he should be." COMPLETE.
1. Sunny Side Up

**Notes**: So I may or may not have gotten swindled into writing a Sterek fic where Stiles experiments with wolfsbane and anything else to make "potions"… And when I say swindled it was a request that I jumped on instantly because it was a hella fun idea. My lovely swindler would be _lord kiras hand_ from :) My only regret is that it's literally taken MONTHS for me to finish because I've been so busy Derek: Anyway though: Erica and Boyd are alive because I like them and I've brought Jackson back for their senior year (which is when this takes place) because I like his assholery. Also, I want Derek to be an alpha still so yeah his speech to Deucalion was great but he killed him anyway. The fic is in both Stiles and Derek's 3rd person POV, and it'll be clear who's POV it's in. Enjoy!  
  
**Disclaimer**: You know the drill!

**Summary**: Derek/Stiles post-season 3a. "Deaton managed to get Stiles in on a little experiment of his that involves mixing all sorts of things with wolfsbane to see what effects they'll have on the werewolves… Stiles may or may not be way more adamant about it than he should be." COMPLETE.

**Pairings**: (Main) Derek/Stiles; (Other) Scott/Allison, Jackson/Lydia, Boyd/Erica, Isaac/Cora, platonic Deaton/Stiles  
**Rating**: Mature  
**Additional tags/warnings**: strong language; post season 3a; adventure, romance; minor character death, villain death; wolfsbane, potions; revenge; evil Peter, alive Erica/Boyd, returned Jackson, occasionally terrifying Stiles, sort of oblivious Stiles, oblivious Derek; slow build romance; m/m and m/f pairings; sexual content; bottom!Stiles, top!Derek

* * *

[Chapter summary: Stiles is bored and ends up bonding with Deaton and eventually Lydia. Very evilly. Also, Derek loves his betas, but good god—also coffee. Evil coffee.

**1: Sunny Side Up**

"_If we knew what we were doing,  
it would not be called research, would it?"  
—Benjamin Franklin—_

_STILES  
Monday…_

Stiles whistles to himself as he walks into Deaton's, looking for Scott here since he's not answering any of his texts or calls. It's not exactly important that he get a hold of him, he's just bored. Scott probably knows that and is ignoring him on purpose.

"In here, Stiles!" Deaton calls before Stiles can call for anyone himself.

Stiles follows the voice back into the operation room. "How did you know it was me?"

Deaton points up at a security camera. "I'm not as all-powerful as you think."

"Nonsense," Stiles says, going straight over to where he's playing with some multi-colored powders. "You probably didn't even look at it."

"You _do_ have a significant grunting noise when you open the front door."

"It's heavy!" Stiles protests.

Deaton smiles. "I don't know where Scott is either. He doesn't work today."

Stiles groans. "You're his druid thing, though. You should always know where he is."

"Druid or not, he's _your_ best friend. Anyway, he's probably with Allison."

Stiles sighs. "He's always with Allison."

Deaton smiles again. "Am I detecting a hint of jealously, Stiles?"

Stiles gives a guilty look before glaring. "So what? I had him first."

Deaton's smiles turns from warm to…almost evil. "How about I let you in on a little experiment of mine?"

Stiles arches an eyebrow. "What _kind_ of experiment?"

He holds up a jar of pale purple powder. "A wolfsbane experiment."

Stiles blinks a bit. "But…doesn't that _hurt_ them?"

"Not when mixed with the right elements. You remember the hallucinogenic that Lydia created at her birthday party? That had wolfsbane in it, but it didn't _hurt_ anybody. And she mixed wolfsbane with lavender to knock Derek out and get him to the mansion for Peter's revival, but it didn't _hurt_ him." He motions to the other jars of powder. "With the right mixes it can create all sorts of things. Besides a few, though…" He waves a hand. "I don't know what anything does. That's why it's just an experiment."

Stiles realizes that he's grinning back at the veterinarian. "And I just mix the powders with some liquids and…it's that easy?"

Deaton smiles again—one of those weird ones that doesn't reach his eyes and you know he's not telling you everything about something. Stiles honestly doesn't care, though. This could be _fun_. "Not just liquids," says, "but that's essentially right. I just want to know what some of the mixes will do. Now, some mixes _will_ have dangerous effects, but I've already made a list of things that will kill, so you should be safe."

Stiles wrinkles his nose up. "How do you know what will kill them?"

"I haven't killed anyone, Stiles. I'm not the only one who does experiments. None have done them on werewolves in this specific way, but other creatures who have a similar makeup have in the past, so I decided not to risk it."

Stiles snorts. "Nice of you."

Deaton nods. "You'll do it, then?"

Stiles taps his fingers against the desk there. "What's in it for me?"

Deaton gives that creepy smile again. "Wouldn't you do anything to see a wolf become so overpowered by themselves that they turn into a _full_ wolf for a couple of days?"

Stiles' eyes widen. "You mean…degrade Derek to a _pet_?" Deaton nods. "Although you might want to choose someone more like Scott unless you're alright with being ripped in half once it wears off."

Stiles laughs loud, letting it echo. "Oh my god, I'm so excited, I…" He trails off, looking Deaton in his cryptic eyes. "Wait a minute, if this is an experiment, then how do you know what's going to happen?"

"I don't. I'm making things up from other experimental—"

"Alright, alright, whatever. I'll do it anyway, because if that's true I am _going_ to get

Derek a collar with a 'Fido' nametag."

Deaton gives a one-shouldered shrug. "I think he's more of a 'Spot'."

Stiles grins. "We should hang out more."

Deaton gives one of those "yeah you wish" sort of laughs and turns away from him. "I'll get you that list of fatal substances."

Stiles huffs, leaning against the counter to wait. He just got friendship turned down by a man who doesn't even have any real friends. Talk about rough.

Stiles leaves after he gets the list, walking down the sidewalk. Due to the fact that he _was_ bored, he just walked out to Deaton's to pass the time. It's warm out and only a few miles anyway. He looks over the list to see deadly things that are mostly plants, but there are also some foods, like… Stiles frowns.

"Limes?" he says out loud. He snorts, folding the paper and shoving it into a pocket. "Who experiments with _limes_?"

His phone rings, blaring out a Spanish song so that Stiles knows Scott is _actually_ calling him back. "Yello?"

"Hey dude, you called me like eight times. What's up?"

"I'm bored."

Scott is silent for a moment, and he can hear Allison laughing in the background. He should have known. "Seriously? That's it?"

"Did you expect something cooler? Come on, Scott, you know me better than that."

"I know, I know… Can I go now?"

Stiles sputters a bit. "Seriously yourself! You're leaving me just like that?"

"Uh…yes? I'm with Allison, dude."

Stiles groans. "You are the worst best friend ever."

"Yeah, you tell me every day. Go hang out with someone else for once. Jackson came back yesterday for senior year, right?" (The first day of school is in a couple of days.) "Go bug him. Steal a cat from Deaton's and give it to his parents as a welcome back present."

Stiles grins. "You're the _best_ bestfriend ever."

Scott laughs. "I know. I'll see you at school, dude."

"Yeah, alright. Bye." He hangs up. He knows he's not going to go bug Jackson, he just wishes there was something else he _could_ do.

That's when his phone rings again, Deaton's creepy smile popping up on the screen. He doesn't even remember taking that picture. "Hey."

"I forgot to tell you," he says, "you can't make anything tonight since you don't have my powdering recipe, so for now I just want you to go gather up things to mix with it. Gather any wolfsbane as well if you happen to come across it."

"Yeah, sure. Anything else, boss?"

"Just one thing: this has to be between you and I. You know how touchy Derek gets."

Stiles snorts. "Yeah, that guy is a walking nerve. I'll keep it on the low down. What happens if something goes wrong?"

"I'll fix whatever happens."

"You sure?"

"Trust me, Stiles. You may always complain about me not giving enough information, but I've never lead any of you in the wrong direction."

Stiles huffs. "Yeah, that's true. Where should I look first?"

"It's not about looking for anything specific. Gather whatever you want to see the effects of and keep it in a cooler. You can bring plants, fruits, vegetables, meats… Anything. Come by at noon tomorrow and I'll take the ones we can use and turn them into a powder."

"Deal," Stiles says with a nod even though it can't be seen. "Random plants and things in a cooler. I can do that."

"I don't doubt it. Goodbye, Stiles."

"Yeah, see yuh." He hangs up and, because he might as well, starts grabbing up random plants.

**XxX**

_Tuesday…_

"Ta-duh," Stiles says, setting down the cooler the next afternoon. "I can't believe you can actually powder meat and stuff. I could survive completely on snorting my food!"

Deaton hums as he opens up the cooler. "Actually, that would eventually kill you, but you can try if you like."

Stiles rolls his eyes. "Not leading any of us in the wrong direction my ass."

"My permission to do something is not the same as my blessing, Stiles."

"God, you sure are full of those. Weird, profound things that I don't know what to say to. What was your college major, cryptic assholery?"

"No, that's was Peter's. I went to veterinary school."

Stiles laughs. "You're actually funny, you know that?"

Deaton nods. "I'm aware, yes. I usually just keep it to myself. Now! First, you must know that you are to always make sure to have the correct ratio to each mix."

Stiles groans. "A ratio? I'm not Lydia, Deat'. I suck at math."

"Don't worry, it will be easy. Just make sure that your mix, however much you make, only has twenty-five percent of it as wolfsbane."

"Oh, yeah, that is easy."

Deaton nods. "I know. Now, let's learn how to make powders from plants, first…" He picks up a sunflower that Stiles nabbed from someone's garden. "You don't _need_ to powder things, but it's more convenient because you can slip the powdered wolfsbane and whatever else into a water bottle since I already know that water has no effect. In any case, this is going to take some time, now. A couple hours at the minimum. I trust you don't have any other plans for the day?"

Stiles nods. "My schedule's clear, but school starts tomorrow."

"Good! You can begin the experiment then."

Stiles grins. "Can't wait."

**OoOoOoO**

_DEREK  
Wednesday…_

"I already _called_ the front seat!" Isaac yells.

"But _I'm_ the oldest!" Boyd yells back.

"Well _I'm_ the only girl," Erica says, shoving between them both. "I shouldn't have to sit in the back with you two smelly boys."

"You're the smallest though," Boyd growls. "You and Isaac should have to get into the back because you'll fit the best."

"I don't _wanna_ be stuck with Erica though!" Isaac whines.

Erica snaps her fangs at him. "That's not what you were saying last night."

Isaac groans. "I was drunk, it doesn't count."

Derek lets out a long sigh, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck. His three betas always argue with each other, and this is what he gets for letting all of them move in with him. Cora is the oldest of all of them and already bought her own mode of transportation (Derek would disapprove of a motorcycle if she weren't nearly indestructible), so _she's_ already left for the first day of their senior year. The other three, though, aren't quite there yet, so _Derek_ has to drive them to school on his own. In his Camaro. In his poor, fragile baby…

He sighs again, dropping his hand. "I'm going to make all three of you _walk_ if you can't decide in the next minute."

They all glare at him, yellow eyes glaring up bright. "Shut up!" they snarl in unison.

Derek rolls his eyes, leaning against the driver's side door. He loves his three betas (Isaac started to switch over to Scott, but you never truly leave your alpha; he still listens to him sometimes, but his default master is Derek), but sometimes he does miss his fourth. Jackson was a dick, but at least he and Derek had the same sense of humor _and_ taste in music. He's back in his parents' place, though… He won't get anywhere near Derek for as long as he can help it. He likes being an omega, for whatever reasons.

The three finally decide that Boyd gets the front, so Derek breathes a sigh of relief and hops in to drive them to their first day of senior year. Damn… Twelve grade. Derek hated high school.

He gets out with them after parking, making sure they get everything out of his car.

"Heyyy, look who it is!"

Derek turns to see Stiles, Scott, and Allison, all sipping on coffee, and in Stiles' hand is a tray of four more.

"Hi, Scott," Isaac says.

Erica rolls her eyes. "Hi, Stiles."

Boyd rolls his eyes at both of them. "Hi, Allison."

Derek doesn't greet anyone. All he smells is coffee. "Stocking up on caffeine?" he asks Stiles.

The human grins. "They're for you guys, actually," he says. "You six are the only ones I have coffee orders memorized for."

Erica _ooh's_. "Maybe I _do_ still have a crush on you."

Boyd rolls his eyes again. "You don't even have Lydia's down?"

Allison snorts. "It changes every day."

Stiles nods. "That's the only reason, yeah." He hands out the coffee, and Derek doesn't even care that they all know he's eager for it. He hasn't has to get up this early in _years_.

"Deaton funded it," Stiles says. "I hope I got it all right."

"Mmhmm," Isaac says, downing half of his all at once.

Derek starts to do the same, but suddenly his fingers star to prickle weird, so he sets the cup on the on the top of his car to shake his hands a bit.

"Yeah, mine did that too," Scott says. "It must be the coffee."

"Mine didn't, though, remember?" Allison says.

Stiles fixes her with a look. "They probably just did something that affects wolves."

"Why would they have done that?" Scott asks.

Stiles shrugs, taking another sip of his own. "Accidents happen."

"It's weird," Erica says, flexing her fingers. "Oh well." She looks to Isaac with a smile. "Do I look good enough?"

He shrugs. "Allison looks more my type."

Scott snorts, Allison rolls her eyes, and Isaac wrinkles his nose up like that's…not something he meant to say out loud.

She huffs. "Boyd?"

"Are you kidding? You'd look gorgeous in mud." He wrinkles his nose up, too. Weird.

Erica grins though, happy. "Much better." She walks off, blissfully ignoring any looks she gets.

Stiles _hmphs_. "Nobody's ever told _me_ that."

"I've seen you in mud," Derek says without thinking as he grabs his coffee back up. "You look about normal."

Scott arches an eyebrow. "Was that a compliment?"

Derek frowns. "I…don't know."

Stiles is grinning wide. "How good is my normal look?"

Derek shrugs. "About normal."

He rolls his eyes. "You must be straight."

Derek shrugs. "Usually." He instantly wrinkles his nose up.

Allison is giving him an odd look. "You look perturbed by that."

He shakes his head. "No, I knew that, I just…I didn't mean to say it out loud."

Stiles is positively _beaming_. "Hey Scott, are _you_ straight?"

Scott arches an eyebrow. "Yeah, you know that."

He looks back at Derek. "_How_ usually?"

Derek shrugs. "I won't hit on a guy first, but if one my type comes up I won't turn them down." Another nose wrinkle. Why the hell does he keep saying things he doesn't want anyone to know?

Stiles giggles (literally giggles) and looks to Allison. "Quick, quick, ask Scott something he's always lied to you about."

Allison purses her lips. "You know better than I do that he only lies to help someone."

"Well, think of _something_."

She huffs. "Scott, what was the last thing you lied to me about?"

Derek gives an impressed eyebrow raise as he sips from his coffee (and hopes to god Deaton never funds this weird side effect again.) He likes Allison now that she's not trying to kill him. She's clever.

Scott buzzes his lips. "Uh, I think it was about the moonseed your dad had. I said I didn't know what happened to it, but I took it." He frowns instantly. "Whoa, what just happened?"

"Oh my god, you guys can't lie!" Stiles exclaims.

Derek frowns. "That doesn't make sense."

"That's what you think, sourwolf." He reaches into his backpack and pulls out a red pen. "This is some Jim Carrey stuff right here. Tell me that the pen is blue."

"But it's not."

"You're missing the point! Sense or not, I think you'd like to know your limits."

Derek rolls his eyes. "The pen is red." He frowns. "No, I meant red."

Stiles laughs. "It's blue!" he yells.

"Nuh-uh!" Scott says. "It's b—" He sneezes. "Red." He huffs. "It's a good thing I don't lie enough for this to affect me."

Allison hums. "Speaking of which, why did you take the moonseed, of all things?"

Scott shrugs. "I don't know. It felt cool against my neck."

Stiles blinks slightly before giving a wide grin and then quick covering it up by talking to Allison: "Why did your dad have moonseed? What does it even do? I mean, besides dognip."

Allison shrugs. "Not sure," she says, finishing her coffee. "He has a lot of things I don't understand. Anyway! Bell's gonna ring. Come on, Scott." She takes his hand, walking them off.

Stiles lingers, grinning at Derek.

Derek's eyes widen in realization. "Don't you dar—"

"So who do you like?" he blurts.

Derek lets out a sigh of relief. "No one."

Stiles pouts. "No fun."

"Have I ever been fun?"

Stiles nods, beginning to turn away. "Touché."

Derek gets back into his car as the teen walks off, wondering what exactly was in those coffees—and how involved with them Stiles really was. On the way home he dumps his coffee out the window.

**OoOoOoO**

_STILES..._

School is boring but for the two classes he has with truth-atized wolves. Pre-calc with Isaac and Boyd is mostly a ton of arguing and cursing under breaths, but eventually Stiles just starts asking random questions. Apparently Boyd has a huge crush on Erica, Isaac kinds of wants to make out with Scott and Allison but he's mostly just got a thing for Cora, and they're both virgins. Since Stiles is too (summer brought him _nothing_), it was almost like a club.

In government with Isaac and Erica, Isaac makes Stiles promise to keep his mouth shut about Boyd, but since Erica also admits to liking him most out of anyone else she knows they totally plot to somehow get them together. He's also got his last gym class with Scott right after lunch, which sucks since it's hard to run on a full stomach. Nothing interesting happens in that class since one) they don't talk much while huffing and puffing and two) Scott pretty much always tells the truth anyway.

Once the day is over, Stiles also finds that Scott apparently lies a lot more than he thought...

"_Chris_ texted me!" Scott says, mortified. "He asked if Allison and I were going to be studying again tonight and I said—I _actually_ said—'No, we're probably just gonna make out.'"

Stiles can't help but laugh. He can't wait to call Deaton. "I am so sorry."

Scott nods. "It stopped just after lunch, though. You didn't ask me anything in gym since you already know everything about me. See, look." He looks at Stiles' red shirt. "Your shirt is green."

"Thank god," Allison mutters, stepping up to them. "My dad says we're not allowed to alone together anymore."

Scott frowns. "Why? He already knows we've had sex."

Stiles groans, moving away. "I'll see you guys tomorrow."

They ignore him, so he hops into his Jeep and pulls out his phone.

"Ah, Stiles," Deaton says in greeting. "How did it go?"

Stiles chuckles. "A _truth_ serum, Deat'. Sunflower seeds take away their ability to lie. It was hilarious."

"Good, I'll label that right away. What do you want to try next?"

"Uh, Scott and Allison mentioned something about moonseed. What's that?"

"I believe that it's a sort of catnip for doglike animals, actually. Chris has some. I'll borrow a bit."

"You can let him in on it, too. I bet he'd love to help. Maybe we can use Victoria's old mister."

"Good idea. I'll call you later."

"Deal!" He hangs up. If it were Friday he could throw a party and hit everyone with, like, six things instead of just sketchy coffee. Chocolate, mints, whisky, raw veggies, fruit cups...

Stiles grins. He's _definitely_ going to throw a party on Friday. He bets he can get Lydia in on all this too, and then he can have it at her place. He quick presses the number two for her speed dial (crushes are dumb).

"What?" she answers.

"Lydia, my beautiful blossom," Stiles says in greeting (now that literally everyone knows his thing for her he sort of just wears his heart on his sleeve), "have I got a proposition for _you_."

"_Now_ what? Dinner and a movie doesn't do it for me, you know."

Stiles rolls his eyes. "I'm not actually trying to get us together, but thanks. It's better than that—well, for you, anyway. Are you with any wolves right now?"

"Jackson's gonna be here in twenty minutes."

Stiles gives an automatic cringe. How _anyone_ could ever love that dick is so completely beyond his comprehension. Poor Aiden got kicked to the curb, so he's been hanging out with Cora, Danny, and Ethan a lot. "Well, in the meantime, I want to let you in on something, but you have to promise not to tell anyone."

"Why?"

"Because it'll ruin the experiment."

She huffs. "Fine, what is it?"

Stiles grins and launches into his explanation, telling her about Deaton's plan and the list of deadly things and how Chris is going to be in on it soon and also about the powdered sunflower seeds.

She's silent for a moment. "You mean…you've made a _truth_ serum?"

"Yup."

"Oh my god, I want it. Jackson _always_ lies to me—and don't you dare ask why I love him again, I don't know. Just count me in on _anything_!"

Stiles laughs. "Alright, awesome. We're gonna need to throw a party at your place on Friday, okay? Just our friends. We'll call it a...welcome back to school thing. Anyway, we can mix up a whole bunch of things and just keep tabs on everyone. We'll bring out one mix at a time, and that way we won't get multiple mixes into a system. You'll have alcohol too, right? We can use the smell to maybe mask any others."

She hums. "You're a lot smarter than you look, Stiles. Very nice."

Stiles grins, deciding to take that as a compliment. "Thanks."

"I'll have everything ready for seven after school on Friday," she continues. "You arrive at six and we'll mix all the powders in."

Stiles nods even though she can't see him. "Deal. In the meantime, I'll do some other things."

"Sounds good. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Sounds even better."

She snorts. "Bye." She hangs up.

Stiles grins, setting his phone down to start his Jeep. Jackson or not, when Lydia gets a hold of the truth serum, he's _doomed_. Stiles is very excited about that.

* * *

Concoctions: There was just 1 of them this chapter!  
1. Sunflower seeds (powder ground): A truth serum


	2. Sick As A Dog

[Chapter summary: In which Derek is a good alpha except in secret and Stiles totally takes care of him.]

**2: Sick as a Dog**

_"I just don't understand  
why it was a stranger  
who told me she was dead."_

—Asofterworld

_STILES  
__Thursday…_

Stiles whistles to himself as he skips over to where he saw Derek's Camaro pulled in, a bottle of whisky in his backpack. He used the same technique as in the first Sherlock Holmes movie with the needle to get some liquid wolfsbane inside, and he's ready to see the effects of the alcohol. He could always have waited till the party, but this works much better.

"No coffee, good," Boyd mutters.

"No way," Stiles says. "Nothing that anyone else could accidentally do something weird to." He shrugs his backpack off. "I have something way better than that."

Isaac wrinkles his nose up. "I think we'll pass, whatever it is."

Stiles grins, pulling out the bottle. "You sure? Brand new, never opened."

Erica snatches it away before Stiles even knows what's happening. "_Mine_," she growls."

"I don't think so," Derek says, snatching it right away from her as well. "You four are nowhere near old enough to drink and I don't drink at all." He holds it back out to Stiles. "Take this back to whomever you stole it from."

Stiles rolls his eyes, taking it back. He gets all his stuff by breaking into the holding room at the sheriff station since he knows how to get around all the cameras. "Dude, we're either gonna all get together in the bathroom and knock the whole thing back or right here where you can dictate it." He holds it back out to Erica. "Alpha or not, you're not their fucking dad, so."

He shrugs as Erica takes the bottle back. "You could at least be the cool older brother."

Boyd snorts. "Derek? The _cool_ older brother? Yeah right."

Derek frowns. "I'm cool sometimes."

"Not as often as you're a total dick," Isaac mumbles.

Derek gives him a red eye.

"Don't give him that look," Erica mutters. "You broke his _arm_."

"It healed fast!" Derek snaps.

"Doesn't mean it didn't fucking hurt," Isaac growls under his breath.

Derek huffs. "I apologized for that with dinner and you know it."

Boyd nods. "That's true."

Isaac sighs. "Yeah, that's true."

Derek gives a gruff nod, reaching up to muss up Isaac's curly hair a bit.

Stiles sticks his tongue out in a sort of _bleh_ way. "Keep the pack cuddles to yourself, dude."

Derek suddenly reaches out and takes the bottle again. "We are _not_ drinking in the middle of a high school parking lot. I'm taking this back with me and _none_ of you are getting any."

The four teens protest."

"Come on, dude, that was hard to get!" Stiles says loudly.

"Sucks you brought it out in front of me, then," Derek says, moving towards his car. "Now go to class before I call your dad."

"Man, you are the _worst_," Stiles mutters as the other three wolves glare a lot while walking away. "Seriously, _the_ worst."

He shrugs, opening his driver's side door. "I've had girlfriends worse than me, so." He hops in, giving that stupid smile he gives when he knows he's just won something he shouldn't have had to compete in at all.

"Fucker," Stiles mutters, going off after the other wolves. Derek _doesn't_ drink, so that bottle is going to waste unless Stiles can find it later. Rude.

**XxX**

Stiles is at the beginning of his second class period, trying not to fall asleep when his phone starts buzzing for a call. When he sees that it's Derek he quick pretends he's going to the bathroom and flits out, answering him in the hallway.

"Hey, what's up?"

"You are _dead_," he snarls. It sounds…weak and scratchy.

"Considering that you always want me dead, I'm going to have to ask what I did this time."

"I don't know, but this whisky is worse than the—" He suddenly cuts off, and Stiles hears a very distinct retching sound in the background. "_Way_ worse than the coffee."

Stiles blinks a bit. "Dude, are you puking?"

"Yes I am _puking_," he snaps. "Do you know how long I've been a werewolf? All my twenty-six years of life. Do you know how many times I've been sick? _Never_, because we can't _get_ sick. This is the first time I've ever vomited in my entire life and it's _not_ okay. I—" Another pause, another retch. "I am going to _kill_ you."

Stiles frowns. "Wait a minute, did you drink the whisky?"

"_Yes I drank the whisky_," he snarls, not quite as weak. "I am a twenty-six year old man, of course I drank the fucking whisky. I lie to all of you so you maybe won't since the habit can really suck after a while!"

"Whoa, you can lie to them?"

"Twenty-six _years_ of being a monster and I think I can know how to keep my heart rate low, idiot. Cora can do it too, but not as well. Peter does it better than my mother even could. It's not important, though! Where the fuck did you get this shit?"

Stiles can't help but laugh. "Oh my god, I'm telling everyone. I just got it from the holding room, dude. It's never even been opened before you took it." He's not lying, he's just…keeping away certain truths. "Whoever they got it from must have done something weird to it."

"Like _what_?" Derek snaps. "Nothing they do should affect wolves like this!"

Stiles shrugs even though Derek can't see it. "Accidents happen, dude."

Derek growls, but halfway it turns into a very puppy-like whimper. "Do humans have to do this a lot? All of my limbs are sore, my stomach feels like it's on period cramps, and my head hurts even more." He whimpers again. "The bathroom floor is _cold_, Stiles…"

Stiles suddenly feels _horrible_. Really horrible. He was hoping alcohol and wolfsbane would just increase their ability to get drunk, but apparently it just makes them sick as a dog (bad as he feels, he fucking loves dog jokes). Now he's _glad_ Derek took the bottle before Stiles was able to give it to everyone. Usually he'd want to test everything to make sure it didn't affect each wolf differently, but he's just going to write this one off.

"Shit," Stiles says. "Okay, uh, don't move—"

"I can't even breathe right, let alone _move_!"

"Good, because you never listen to anyone. Just give me ten minutes and I'll be over, and I can—"

"Why would I want _you_ to come take care of me? I'm an alpha, I can take care of mys—" More retching. "Fuck you."

Stiles rolls his eyes. "Ten minutes. Do you have any chicken noodle soup? We'll probably have to do this the old fashioned way."

"I have no idea what I have."

Stiles huffs. "Well, let's just hope. I won't tell anybody about it, either."

"I still hate you."

"I know, you always have." He hangs up, going back into the classroom and giving some bullshit thing about his dad being sick, grabbing his things before anyone has anything to say to him. He bullshits a lot of things, he knows how to play.

Derek and Cora moved away for basically the rest of junior year before coming back in the summer, and instead of the old "abandoned meth lab" look he used his crazy high fortune to almost completely remodel the place. Derek has a room for his giant bed now, and even a kitchen. Cora is still up in the loft when she's not at school or with her usual posse of Danny and the twins. Danny apparently knew about all the supernatural shit before Lydia even did, he just kept it to himself, though Stiles isn't really sure why.

"Hello?" Stiles calls, dropping his backpack right inside the door. "Derek?"

A groan comes from the bathroom, and Stiles walks in to see Derek curled into a fetal position on the tiled floor in just a t-shirt and boxers.

Stiles huffs. "You idiot, no wonder you're cold."

Derek glares at him. "I've never been sick _or_ had to take care of someone sick, why would I have any idea how to fix myself?"

Stiles pulls out his best Derek-mocking voice and says, "I'm an alpha, I can take care of myself." He goes back to his own voice: "You're a dick. Also, you took care of a sick Cora."

"That was different; she didn't just need a bowl of soup and sleep."

"Whatever, dude." Stiles walks out into the wolf's adjoining bedroom, grabbing a blanket and pillow. "I'm gonna find a bucket so you can get into the bed," he says, fluffing the blanket over Derek's body. "I'll scrounge around for something you can eat, too." He shoves the pillow under his head. "I know this was technically my fault"—(totally his fault)—"but you better love me after all this."

Derek glares some more, but he does look thankful for the pillow. "You wish."

Stiles shrugs, walking out to find a bucket. "Not really."

He totally can't find a bucket, so he just takes out what's in the kitchen trash and brings that can into the bedroom with a new bag.

"Alright, let's get..." He trails off. Derek is fast asleep, drooling on the pillow and holding the blanket tightly around him.

Stiles chuckles, moving towards the kitchen. Wolves sure are cute.

Stiles knows being sick totally sucks, so even after he manages to find one can of chicken noodle to make he doesn't want to wake the wolf. He just fluffs out another blanket before turning the TV on really low, munching on some chips Derek probably bought for his four little betas (Jackson really doesn't count for anything since he hates everyone but Lydia). At least they all have jobs… Isaac is at the cemetery, Cora is doing vet stuff with Scott and Deaton, Erica has a retail job at the mall, and Boyd paints houses and the like. It's weird, because the twins should technically be Derek's betas since he killed Deucalion, but they automatically moved under Scott… Honestly, Derek is a terrible alpha, but still.

It's not even two full hours later before Stiles hears some more retching, so he quick hops up and bounds into the bathroom as Derek leans away from the toilet.

"Barfing sucks, dude," he says to the wolf. "Do you want to sleep here some more or get to the bed?"

"Bed," Derek breathes.

Stiles nods, grabbing up the pillow and blankets to bring to the bedroom. Derek gets himself up there, flailing slowly to get under the covers.

"How long was I out?" he asks.

"About two hours," Stiles says, grabbing up the thermometer he found. "Now open wide, I want to see how hot you are."

"I'm crazy hot," Derek groans.

Stiles just nods, sticking the device underneath his tongue before it beeps. "Ooh, wow," he says. "One-hundred and seven. It's a good thing you're a wolf. Stay awake for a few more minutes, okay? I'm gonna get the soup."

He heats it up in the microwave before bringing Derek a bowl, already sitting up and waiting. He's about halfway through with it before stopping, giving Stiles a slow, tired look. "I shouldn't have eaten this," he says.

Stiles frowns, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Why not?"

"Because everything you give us has some creepy effect."

Stiles rolls his eyes. "You're already almost done and nothing is happening. Just eat the soup."

Derek sighs, but he does so. When finally finished, Stiles sets the bowl onto the nearest dresser and helps fluffs the blankets back over the wolf, making sure he stays warm.

"I know this was all your fault," Derek says as his face is shoved into the pillow and his eyes are closed, "but thank you."

Stiles smiles. "You're welcome. Your betas are all going to be home soon, though. What do you want me to tell me? I can't lie as good as you, either, so..."

Derek huffs. "Text them that we had to go fight of a nest of fairies and that one hexed me into sickness."

"Cora's not going to believe that, but okay. What do you want me to do with the whiskey?"

"Dump it out, keep the torn label in your jeans pocket, and put it under the sink for recycling."

Stiles nods, standing. "Can do, captain."

"Stiles, wait, one more thing."

Stiles looks back from the doorway. "Hmm?"

"Stop being so annoying."

Stiles just grins. "You wish, sourwolf."

He's not even sitting on the couch for half an hour before he hears a very doglike whimper, so he quick bounds back into the bedroom. Derek looks like he's still asleep, but he's stretching out across the entire bed in the process.

"You'd be the cutest puppy," Stiles whispers as he goes to leave.

But then Derek speaks: "Stiles, it's _cold_..."

Stiles glances back to see how he's knocked most of his blankets off, so he rolls his eyes and throws them back over hi—

He yelps, not ready for Derek's arms around his waist and face burying into his stomach. "Cooold," the wolf whines again.

Stiles huffs, pushing at him. "Let me go, you big—"

Derek cuts him off with a loud snore, face buried into Stiles' side.

Stiles keeps trying to get out, but Derek's arms don't budge, and he doesn't wake up either. Stiles eventually sighs and pulls out his phone, texting all four of Derek's betas in a mass:

**Derek is crazy human-sick thanks to freaky fairies. I'm taking care of ur alpha and now he's cuddling me and it's super weird but i can't actually get away so...warning.**

Cora and Isaac text back right away. Cora says that pack cuddles are a normal want for a wolf who feels uncomfortable/needy, and Isaac just says something dumb about "pics or it isn't happening". Erica and Boyd take a little longer, but Stiles has nothing better to do than wait anyway. Boyd asks about the fairies and if Derek's okay like a good little beta, but Erica's is...a totally different subject:

**I lost my virginity**.

Stiles frowns a little. She was totally part of the virgin club. **Call me?**

When she does, she starts talking before Stiles can: "So Isaac is a prick and told Boyd before you and him planned to and he totally slammed me into a closet and I'm really glad wolves can't get hickies."

Stiles blinks some more. "Whoa," he eventually gets out. "Hot."

"Yeah, I kinda figured it'd be on a bed or something, but this was pretty great too. Looks like it's just you, Isaac, and Cora in the virgin club now."

Stiles huffs. "Considering that Isaac has a thing for Cora, I'm gonna be alone pretty damn quick."

"Aww, poor baby human. Anyway, I gotta get back to class. Don't tell anyone, okay? I wanna do it."

"Yeah, deal. Bye."

"Bye."

Stiles tosses his phone aside after replying to Boyd, wishing he had a book or something. He could just sleep, but doing that in Derek's arms would be totally weird, so...

He sighs. He already warned the wolves, so fuck it. Worse case someone takes a picture and tries to blackmail him, he supposes.

**OoOoOoO**

_DEREK  
Thursday…_

_Derek frowns, staring at the way his phone is ringing with an unknown number. "Hello?" he answers it with._

_"Derek Hale?" the voice asks._

_"…yes."_

_"We need you to come to the hospital right away, please."_

_Derek frowns deeper, standing up from the bench he's sitting on in the middle of the park he's at. "What?"_

_"Your uncle is here."_

_"Which uncle?"_

_"Mr. Peter Hale."_

_Derek starts running, heading to his car. "Why? What happened?"_

_"Please just come to the hospital, Mr. Hale. There's much that you need to be told."_

_"Tell me now, dammit!"_

_The man sighs. "There's been a fire, Mr. Hale."_

_Derek runs even faster, sprinting at inhuman speeds. He doesn't care what anyone thinks. "Is he going to be okay?"_

_"He's going to live, but…"_

_"Spit it out!" Derek roars._

_"It's not just your uncle, Mr. Hale. Please just come to the hospital. Ask for your uncle and you'll be directed right up to us."_

_Derek suddenly stops running completely, practically slamming into a couple of trees. He swallows tightly. "Is…is anyone dead?" he chokes out._

_The man is silent one beat too long. "The receptionist will direct you up to the room, Mr. Hale."_

_Derek's phone drops from his hand as his entire body literally collapses to the ground. Everything is suddenly so loud and fast before his vision and hearing starts to fade, and he…_

Derek's dream fades slowly, causing Derek to wake up even slower. He doesn't even move, and his eyes stay shut. He hates when he dreams things from the past. It isn't fair…

"Oh," a voice says. It comes into Derek's hears foggy and surprised.

"It's fine," another hazy voice quick replies, slight movement to Derek's side. "He's sick from a fairy hex. He doesn't even know he grabbed me, it was just his wolf."

"Oh, okay. Can you relay a message for me?"

"Yeah, sure."

Everything gets quieter at that, and it doesn't come back for at least a few minutes...

"...mister you wanted. Is Allison in on it yet?"

"No way, she sucks at lying to Scott."

Derek realizes with a little frown that the voice belong to Chris and Stiles. What the hell?

"You can tell her about Isaac, though. Shame I don't' like Aiden's dick or I could figure out how to woo him so we're not the lonely ones."

"That is...extremely inappropriate and I don't care."

Stiles laughs. "Whatever, I'm the only non-related human you've got!"

"I'd rather stick with the wolves. I'll see you around, Stiles."

"You too, Chris."

A door closes, and that's when Derek's eyes pop open, blazing red. Stiles is beside him, wrapped in... _Why is Derek holding onto Stiles?_ He literally shoves the teen away, who gives a little _oomph_.

"What the hell?" Derek snarls weakly.

"That was all you, dude," Stiles says, stretching. "Your wolf must have branded me your caretaker and wanted a hug."

Derek glares, looking away. It makes sense, but that doesn't mean he has to lie it. "Who just left? Chris?"

Stiles nods, sitting up on the side of the bed he's on. "Peter called you, too, but I sent it to voicemail."

Derek glares over at his cell phone. Seeing that they all _know_ Peter is evil and out to kill any of the four alphas, they steer clear of him when they can. Peter knows this, though, so he only ever contacts anyone of he really needs to. With that in mind, Derek grabs up the phone to dial his voicemail to listen to the words of his crazy, evil uncle:

"Rogue fairies? You better be glad Lydia and I are the only ones who aren't stupid. Fairies _never_ harm other supernatural creatures without cause, idiot. Tell Stiles I say hi and to get a picture of your first kiss."

He hangs up. That's it. Derek doesn't know how Peter always knows exactly what's going on, but it annoys the shit out of him. That also wasn't even slightly important, so Derek wishes he hasn't of even listened to it."

Derek looks to Stiles, still sitting on the edge of the bed as he plays with a string of his red hoodie. "Peter says hi."

Stiles snorts, standing. "Peter can suck my dick." Then, a little less crude: "How do you feel?"

"A lot better, but not perfect," Derek says, rubbing his forehead. "Where is everybody?"

"Out in the main room. They got here before Chris and apparently didn't say anything about our cuddling."

Derek frowns, sniffing in deep. "I can barely smell them."

"Yeah, your nose is plugged. That's a thing. Go blow it with some toilet paper—or do you need help with that too?"

Derek flips him off as he stumbles painfully (why is it even possible for stomachs to hurt this bad?) into the bathroom to do so, loving the way more smells flood in. He can hear the four of them now, plus a few others that tend to stumble along. Cora usually brings Aiden, Ethan, or Danny, Isaac hangs out with a Scott, Allison, and Lydia when she's not with Jackson, and then Erica and Boyd just tend to hang around each other. Occasionally they'll pull Stiles or Danny into something, but mostly they're just in denial about...

He sniffs in now that his nose is clear. Oh. They got together. Finally.

He goes back into the bedroom to put on some clothes, and Stiles walks out with him to see his four betas, Aiden, and Danny.

"Where's your boyfriend, dude?" Stiles asks the other human.

"Working," Danny says, flipping over some Uno cards that he's playing with Aiden, Cora, and Isaac. Isaac smells annoyed, and the amount of cards he's got in his hands signifies that it's probably because he's losing.

"Speaking of boyfriend's..." Erica says.

"No," Derek and Stiles say at once. Stiles is currently flopped onto the floor beside her, and Derek has moved to the couch so he can try and calm his stomach down a bit. It still hurts like shit, but at least he's not vomiting anymore. He's glad too, because they sort of need the "bucket" by his bed for trash.

"Aw, come on," Aiden says absentmindedly as he's totally winning. "You two were cute."

"Cute or not," Stiles says, "I'm not really into dick, so."

Danny snorts. "That is a lie and you know it."

Stiles glares a little. "Traitor."

Everyone else gives a few wide eyes. "You're bisexual?" Derek asks.

Stiles rolls his eyes. "Calm down, sourwolf. You're not my type."

"Yeah," Cora says to Derek. "You're way too much of a hardass for someone so adorable."

"Are you kidding?" Erica says. "That's what makes them so perfect!"

Stiles stands. "Whatever, I'm leaving. You guys are annoying as fuck."

"Aw, come on," Isaac says. "We're right and you know it."

"I certainly hope not," Derek says, resting a hand on his stomach. "I might throw up again."

"Stiles isn't _that_ bad looking," Boyd says.

Derek gives him a dull look. "Why do all of you suddenly want Stiles and I together?"

It looks like Boyd is about to answer again, but both Cora and Erica just _snarl_ at him for silence before Cora speaks instead: "I'll tell you later."

Stiles wrinkles his nose up. "That's a little nerve wracking."

Erica looks to him. "And _I'll_ tell _you_ later."

"That's way worse!"

"All of you shut up," Isaac snaps. "I'm losing."

Cora gives him a warm smile. "I don't think you're losing."

He gives her the most wide-eyed, surprised look Derek has ever seen on him (not that that says much; Isaac tends to go with the flow). "Really?" he chokes out.

She nods.

Aiden huffs. "Friendzoned again."

Derek frowns. Were Isaac and Aiden having a...contest for Cora?

Erica pats Aiden on the back. "Boyd and I will totally have a three-way with you to make you feel better."

"Only if I'm really drunk, though," Boyd adds.

Aiden grins. "Cool."

Derek wrinkles his nose up. "Guys, come on, save it."

"You're just afraid for your kids," Stiles says, plopping back down beside Derek on the couch instead of actually going anywhere. "They're careful, dude. Stop worrying."

Derek rolls his eyes to look at Cora. "I thought I told you _not_ to hook up with someone I know."

"Huh?" she says, cupping a hand around her ear. "Sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of you not actually being my legal guardian."

Isaac tries to cover up the laugh and fails. "Sorry," he whispers to his alpha.

Derek remembers when Isaac first showed interest in Cora and nearly having a panic attack, but now... "Just know that I _will_ kill you," he mutters.

"Oh, trust me," Cora says. "He knows."

Isaac nods. "I do know."

Derek nods in turn. "Good."

**OoOoOoO**

_STILES  
Thursday…_

It doesn't take long for everyone else to show up to Derek's as well, which is what usually happens anyway. They talk about the usual, school and jobs and how much they all hate each other before adding how much they actually love each other—except Jackson.

Eventually Cora perks up and mentions that there's bean dip in the fridge, and Stiles decides that this is another perfect time to test some concoctions.

"Ooh, bean dip!" he says happily, jumping up. "I'll get it! Can I just microwave it?"

"Sure," she says, flitting a wrist. "You know where the chips are."

He heats the dip up first before he pulls the tube of powdered wolfsbane he's been keeping in his pocket, not enough of it for any of the wolves to go crazy over but enough that it will actually do some damage. He makes sure no one is around before dumping it in and then stirring it up real good, and then he grabs the bag of chips and heads back to the living room.

"I bring your food!" he proclaims.

"Took you long enough," Jackson mutters, grabbing the chip bag first.

"You wish, asshole," Cora says, snatching it away. "This is my house."

Stiles grins, watching everyone dig in without a second thought. He does as well, knowing it's not going to affect him. Letting Deaton recruit him for this was the best thing he ever did.

It's taking a little longer to kick in than the others, so he huffs and gets up to pee, hoping it will be fine when he gets back. He's barely gone for two minutes, but when he comes back inside he comes to a dead halt to see literally no one in the living room but for Derek. "Dude, where did everybody go?"

Derek looks up at him from his spot on the couch, eyes glowing red. His legs are spread wide and he's gripping hard to the couch. "Random rooms."

Stiles frowns. "Why?"

He swallows tightly. "Listen."

Stiles only hears one thump somewhere to know that literally everyone is having sex. "Oh my god, why?"

Derek shrugs, looking away. "Wanna get out of here?"

Stiles nods. "No way in hell I'm staying here for all of this."

As Derek stands, Stiles notices a very distinct bulge and has a revelation: beans plus wolfsbane equals crazy horniness. So Stiles grins and sidles right up to the wolf, batting his eyelashes a couple of times.

"It's affecting you too, isn't it?" he asks. He is so terrible. He loves it.

Derek frowns, eyes still red. "What?"

"Don't play stupid, Derek." Stiles reaches a hand up to take one of his wrists. "You and I are literally the only single ones of our friends. Even Aiden just joins into random three-ways." He grins, _loving_ the way that Derek's face is turning red. "Why don't you let me fix that problem of yours?"

Derek shoves him away. "I'm not sleeping with you."

Stiles laughs. "Good, because I really didn't want you to. Come on, let's get you somewhere where you're not tempted."

Derek looks a little constipated about that, but he does follow him. They take the stairs down to Derek's Camaro, hopping in.

"Geez, you _smell_ like you're turned on," Stiles says, leaning towards the windows. "Are you sure you don't want to go back upstairs and jack off or something?"

Derek gives him a dark look. "I don't want to."

Stiles grins. "Aw, come on, you can think about meee." He leans closer like an asshole.

Derek rolls his eyes and shoves his head away. "Where do you want to go?"

"Will you buy me food? I'm poor."

Another eye roll. "Fine, but only fast food."

"McDonald's!"

They go inside just for more distractions, but Derek's erection is definitely not subsiding through those jeans.

"At least we'll be sitting after the order," Stiles whispers to him.

Derek gives him a quick flash of his red eyes. "I hate you."

Stiles frowns. "You think this is _my_ fault? I'm flattered, truly, but—"

"I _know_ it's your fault," he growls, "and you know I don't mean it like that. None of us want _you_, you just did…something, _anything_, to that dip."

Stiles rolls his eyes. "What could I even _do_ to it? I was barely in there for five minutes."

"I don't know. Something."

Stiles rolls his eyes now. "You are the worst alpha I have ever heard of."

"Ah, but you have heard of me."

Stiles gives him a weird look. "Did you just make a Jack Sparrow joke?"

"Shut up, movies are a good distraction."

Stiles lights right up. "Dude, I could distract you for _hours_."

"Please do," he mutters.

Stiles chuckles as he walks up to the counter. "I like taking care of you."

They find a booth seat so Derek can hide his lap easier, digging in. Stiles doesn't really feel like figuring out how to taint Derek's Sprite, so it's a good thing he doesn't have any left.

"So," Stiles says around a mouthful of burger. "How do you feel? I mean from being sick earlier."

Derek purses his lips. "I…feel fine, actually."

Stiles nods. "Soup is a wonderful thing."

The wolf rolls his eyes. "Right."

"Besides physical feelings, though," Stiles says, giving a very obvious look downwards to signal Derek's uncontrollable hard-on, "how's life? As shitty as usual?"

Derek rolls his eyes. "It's fine, thanks."

"Wow, really? You always make such a big deal about how much your life sucks."

The wolf frowns. "I do not."

Stiles snorts. "You _wish_ you didn't. It's literally a topic brought up between everyone anytime that you're not around. You're pathetic, dude."

Derek huffs. "The next time you have to kill your first girlfriend, lose seven family members in a fire to a different ex-girlfriend, have to kill your crazy uncle for killing _another_ family member, and then find out that _another_ ex-girlfriend is sacrificing people…_then_ we can talk."

Stiles huffs. "You really need to think through who you date, dude. Obviously girls aren't your thing."

Derek arches an eyebrow. "Are you telling me to date guys?"

"I'm saying it might be a better idea, you fucking dumbass."

"Well, due to the fact that I'm too straight to start anything on my own, that's not your best idea."

"Are you kidding? That's a great idea."

"I can't just upgrade my sexual orientation, _you fucking dumbass_."

Stiles rolls his eyes. "It's called experimentation. How do you _know_ you don't like guys better if you won't even try?"

Derek gives the biggest eye roll Stiles has ever witnessed ever. "That is the dumbest thing to think ever. Why don't _you_ get with a guy and see if _you're_ actually bisexual?"

Stiles snorts. "I already have, actually," he says. "Ethan said it was okay for Danny and I to make out at the end of junior year when we were all kinda drunk. And ta-duh, I like penis."

Derek blinks a bit. "You made out with Danny?"

"_That's_ what your concerned about? Yeah, I made out with Danny. Why do you care? If his boyfriend didn't care, you're certainly not allowed to."

"No, I don't care, I just meant—"

Stiles laughs. "God, you are so defensive. Eat your burger, sourwolf."

Derek glares for a few seconds before eating his food without another word.

Wolves are so cute.

* * *

Concoctions: There was just 2 of them this chapter!

**1.** Alcohol (whiskey): Sickness to the point of chills, vomiting, and extreme fatigue and can only be cured the "old fashioned human way" with lots of rest and easy foods  
**2.** Bean dip: Extreme horniness to the point of it being almost uncontrollable


	3. The Food Challenge

[Chapter summary: In which werewolves are gullible as fuck, Isaac is totally in love, and Allison gets in on the goods.]

**3: The Food Challenge**

_"Holding on to anger  
is like drinking poison  
and expecting someone else to die."  
_—Unknown—

_STILES  
Friday…_

When Friday's lunch comes, Stiles has forgone the wolfsbane in drinks and has decided to just mix it into salsa for the chips he brought with him. He gives his usual innocent hello's to everyone as he sits down and pulls everything out, diving in right away.

"Ooh, salsa!" Scott says brightly.

Isaac perks up as well. "Salsa?"

Both of them reach over, each grabbing a couple of chips and dipping.

Stiles manages to keep his face straight, but Lydia is smirking at him like no tomorrow.

"We're still doing the party tonight, right?" she asks him nonchalantly.

"Party?" Erica asks. "I like parties."

Stiles arches an eyebrow. "We haven't mentioned it to you guys yet?"

"Nope," Ethan says, eyeing the salsa as well. Stiles likes Ethan, but he ignores the look, deciding he only wants to deal with two reactions instead of a bunch. Maybe he'll pass it around some more if the reaction isn't so bad, but until knowing he'll keep it to Scott and Isaac.

Lydia smiles brightly. "Well, Stiles and I decided that we're going to have a back to school party! Since it sucks so much, there's always something we can do to make it seem a little better."

"Just all of us friends, though," Stiles says as he starts to realize Scott and Isaac are eating way too much of his lunch. Wolfsbane or not, he kind of needs to eat too. "We'll invite Derek too, of course." He pushes their hands away, muttering at them about it being his and they need to eat their own food.

"Why would we invite Derek?" Cora asks grumpily from where she's beside Isaac. Technically they're a thing now, but it's not exactly Facebook official.

"Yeah," Boyd says. "He's a huge party-pooper."

"We're inviting him so we can teach him _not_ to be a party-pooper," Stiles says.

Jackson rolls his eyes. "As if that's ever going to happen."

"Well," Aiden says, "we thought you coming back wasn't going to happen, and yet here you are."

Lydia huffs. "Shut _up_, Aiden."

"He hasn't done anything wrong, Lydia," Danny says. "You're the one that lead him on and then kicked him to the curb."

"Well excuse me for trying to move on and not being able to."

"You could have at least given him a warning," Ethan mutters.

"I didn't know he was going to need one!" she hisses.

"All of you shut up," Allison snaps. "We are not having this conversation again. Lydia, it was rude. Aiden, get over it. Jackson, go away again since nobody likes you."

Jackson gives a dull look. "Love you too."

The bell rings.

"Thank god," Stiles says, jumping up. "Relationship problems are terrifying. Come on Scott, we'll be late."

Scott hurries after him, obviously not fond of them either.

While they're getting changed, Scott says, "You should be glad you didn't end up with her, Stiles…"

Stiles sighs, sitting down on a bench as he ties his shoes. "We've been over this too, Scott."

"I know, I know, but you just need to realize it! I know you're still 'in love' with her, but it's mostly just an awkward obsession now. Are you even _trying_ to move on?"

"If you hadn't noticed, there's not exactly a lot of people around to move on _with_."

"Sure there are! You never branch out anymore; there could be tons of girls who want you. Remember that Erica used to have a huge crush on you? You could have lost your virginity _ages_ ago."

Stiles rolls his eyes. "Hot now or not, she's never really been my type. You know that too."

Scott groans, sitting down beside him. "Stiles, I need your help."

Stiles frowns. "With what?"

"Allison."

Stiles sighs. He hates helping with Allison. "What this time?"

"All she ever wants to do is practice hunting, and she keeps trying to get me to learn how to shoot a gun even though I totally don't need it. I just…" He huffs. "Please? I want to ice-skating or bowling again or _something_!"

"Alright, alright," Stiles mutters. "She's probably just preoccupied on the darkness or something and forgot that normal couples don't always shoot guns together. Accidents happen, dude. I'll get Lydia to talk to her or something."

"No!" he says loudly, grabbing both of Stiles' eyes. "Not Lydia!"

Stiles gives him a weird look, leaning away from him. Are those…_tears_ building up under his eyes? "Okay, geez, no Lydia. You want me to talk to her myself?"

He nods fervently.

"Okay, I will at the party."

Scott gives a huge relieved sigh, the tears drying off fast. "Thank you so much, Stiles. You're the best friend in the whole wide world."

Stiles nods, pulling his hands away. "Yeah, thanks. Come on, we're going to be late."

Scott nods, flitting off ahead of him.

Stiles just shakes his head, trying to—oh, duh! The salsa and wolfsbane! That was definitely out of the norm, so that must have been it. He's not really sure what to call that one, though... Over-emotional? He'll have to watch him closer and find out.

**OoOoOoO**

_DEREK  
Friday…_

Derek grumbles as he gets out of the shower, following the ring of his phone. He has a different ringtone for almost everyone he knows so he can just ignore his phone if he feels like it, but this one is Isaac's, so he probably shouldn't. He was already done washing himself, he just really likes to stand in the spray of the warm water. Still warm out or not, he's always been the type of person to make life decisions in there.

"Hello?" he says.

"Derek?" Isaac asks. His voice sounds shaky.

"It is my phone, yes."

Isaac lets out a sigh of relief. "I, uh…I feel really weird."

Derek frowns. "What do you mean?"

"Remember that weird, tingly feeling after having the coffee? I have that again and I can't stop crying every time I look at the matches in chemistry." (Isaac failed the class back in sophomore year due to a bunch of shit going on, so now he's finally retaking it.) "Are you okay?"

Derek frowns deeper. Is Isaac getting emotional over the fire? "I'm fine, Isaac. Where are you right now?"

"I'm sitting out on the bleachers of the lacrosse field."

"Do you want me to come and get you?"

"No, no, I just…" He pulls in a deep breath. "You promise you're okay? Because I really want you to be okay. You'd smell a fire, wouldn't you? You'd be able to get out, right?"

Derek purses his lips, putting his phone on speaker so he can get dressed. "Of course I would, Isaac. Nobody is around to lock me up anymore, I'd be fine."

Another sigh of relief. "You're not lying, are you? I can't hear your heartbeat from here and your voice got quieter."

"I'm not lying, Isaac," Derek says, shoving his shoes on. "I just put you on speaker phone so I get could get dressed after my shower."

"Oh no, did I interrupt your shower?"

"Yeah, but it's fi—"

"Oh god, I'm so sorry, I know you like your showers. I'll go now, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"Isaac, it's fine, just…" He trails off, hearing the click that says Isaac has hung up. Derek huffs, grabbing his keys and running out of the apartment so he can get to his car. He drives to fast too get to the school, spotting Isaac over on the bleachers right away. He jogs over, standing down on the grass in front of him.

Isaac looks up slowly, wiping at the tears on his face. "What are you doing here?" he says, voice hoarse.

Derek sighs, walking up the bleachers to sit beside him. "You said you had the same feeling as from the coffee, right? Did you take anything from Stiles?"

He nods. "He had chips and salsa. He was eating it too, though, so I thought it'd be okay! Scott seemed normal, so I…" He sniffs in deeply, scooting closer to Derek and just dropping his head against his shoulder. "I miss my parents, Derek."

Derek gives him a dark look, not because he's annoyed at him but because he's literally going to murder Stiles after this. Derek used to always just pat Isaac on the back and tell him that he'll be fine, but he knows now that that's now how he's supposed to deal with Isaac—especially after whatever emotional shit Stiles gave him.

So he drapes an arm around his shoulders and rests his own chin on the top of his head. "I know, Isaac. I miss mine too." He tugs him a little closer. "But it gets better, you know? You've got great friends that can distract you from everything and, even if they can't distract you, can make you feel better about things. We've all lost someone, right? Think about it. Aiden and Ethan lost pretty much everything, Scott and Lydia lost their dads even though they're still alive, Stiles lost his mom, Jackson and Boyd are adopted and never knew their parents in the first place, Cora and I have both lost everyone, and Allison lost her mom and aunt—crazy or not, they were still family. The only ones who haven't lost people are Erica and Danny… Danny still lives with his entire family and Erica chose to leave hers because they didn't care about her. All of us have our issues, Isaac, and we just need to learn how to deal with them."

Isaac is silent for a long time before finally look up at Derek with those sad eyes, wiping away another escaped tear. "What if I turn into you, though?"

Derek frowns. "What do you mean?"

"You never got over it, Derek. Your hold as a wolf is _anger_ and you never laugh at anything and…" He sighs, looking away. "I've literally never seen you have a good time in your entire laugh. You're too scared of things. I don't want that to happen."

Derek stares at him, blinking. A million people have told him that he's got a stick up his ass more often than not, but hearing it from Isaac in this state is…different. It's got a deeper meaning to it. Isaac is on whatever the hell Stiles did to that salsa, so this has got to be a very important concern to him if he's been crying about it and other things.

Derek swallows tightly, pulling the arm around Isaac's shoulders just to rest on one of his shoulders so he can squeeze it tightly. "You're not going to turn into me, Isaac. You're different than me. You let yourself have fun, whereas I just sort of…watch you guys have fun from a distance."

Isaac looks back up at him again, tears no longer producing. "I never want to be an alpha," he says. "There's way too much responsibility." He leans away, staring out at the school. "I'm sorry that you don't laugh, Derek. It's a pretty great feeling."

Derek purses his lips, dropping his hand entirely. "I'm sorry too, Isaac. I used to do it a lot."

"Really?"

Derek nods. "A long time ago, before any bad things. Before I had to kill my own girlfriends and before fires killed my family and before innocent lives were taken to do away with lives not so innocent. I laughed at anything I could. Puns, even. Those aren't even funny." He smiles slightly, remembering… "Do you want to hear the lame joke that could always make me laugh no matter what?"

Isaac smiles in the same way. "Yeah."

"I got it from an old game for kids called Pajama Sam: What did the alien say to the plant?"

Isaac tilts his head slightly. "What?"

"Take me to your _weeder_."

He blinks for a few seconds before laughing, loud and clear over the empty lacrosse field. "Can I steal that?" he asks.

Derek nods. "Go ahead."

They sit there in silence for a few minutes, staring at nothing in particular, before Isaac breaks it:

"I think I'm in love with your sister, Derek."

Derek gives him a wide-eyed look. He's sure it's just the crazy emotions talking, but still. "Really?"

He nods. "She's just… She's got these _eyes_, Derek. They're like little galaxies. I mean, technically they're just hazel, but if you look really close there's orange and green and silver stars across them too. And she's like you in a lot of ways, because she thinks she's so tough, but she's actually the sweetest thing if you sit down with her. She gives people cute nicknames behind their backs and gets offended when people are too uptight about things even though she _acts_ like she's uptight about everything. She looks up to you too, you know." He looks up at Derek, eyes completely dry now. "She thinks you're an idiot, but she loves you to death and wants to see you happy more than anything in the entire world. All of us do. You're just so dark and cold all the time, and sometimes all we want is a hug. Erica wants it the most, I think…" He looks away again. "I used to massage her feet while Boyd rubbed her shoulders because she would always get so stressed out about you. You'd tell us to go do some training and then just disappear and she would literally snap trees in half because she didn't know what to do about it." He sighs, leaning against Derek's shoulder again. "Cora talks about you, back when you were a kid, and that you and her used to pretend you were explorers in the woods beside your house." He breathes a laugh. "I heard you used to want to be a pirate." He scoots even closer. "I really don't want to turn into you, Derek."

Derek stares straight ahead of himself for a long time. He _knows_ he's got a stick up his ass, he just… He sighs, wrapping an arm around Isaac's shoulders again. "I think you're really good for Cora, Isaac. I'm glad you ignored my glaring and went or her anyway."

Isaac grins up at him. "Really?"

Derek nods. "Really."

He laughs, throwing his arms around him in a hug. "Thank you."

Derek gives him a one-armed hug back. "Yeah, sure, you're welcome. Think you can go back to class now?"

Isaac nods, letting go of him to stand.

"Oh, and Isaac, one more thing…"

Isaac turns around from where he's already hopped down to the grass, eyes wide in anticipation.

"Stop taking drinks _or_ food from Stiles, would you? He's going to get us killed."

Isaac laughs. "Yes, sir." He bounds off, heading back to his class.

Derek sighs, resting his elbows against his knees and hanging his head. Why is moving on so hard?

**OoOoOoO**

_STILES  
Friday…_

Stiles and Lydia both let out deep breaths as they drop onto her living room couch, relieved that they're finally done with all the foods. Stiles made it clear that alcohol is _bad_ with wolfsbane, so they hid everything Lydia has and also told everyone not to bring any for reasons that they could all "actually spend time together". They figured out a way to only get one of each wolf to eat the foods, too: play a game. They're going to have a _food_ challenge, and Stiles is going to pretend that it was all Lydia's idea and that he just happened to show up first. It's not the most believable thing, but they know none of their friends will question it.

They keep all of the tainted food away as everyone shows up, snacking on normal things and normal drinks. When Derek finally shows up (apparently Isaac told him about it before anybody else could; Stiles didn't really hear the story; the beta was a little shy about it. His and Scott's "over-emotional" thing ended after about two hours, just like most of the other things), _that's_ when Lydia announces their first game.

"A _food_ challenge?" Stiles asks. "Nobody's going to want to do that. All of the wolves are getting sick with stuff."

"That's only stuff _you_ give us," Derek says, eyes flashing red for a brief second.

Stiles shrugs. "Like I'm supposed to know it'll affect you wolves weird when it doesn't do a thing to me."

"_Anyway_," Lydia says, "Stiles is a dumbass, so stop panicking." She motions towards the kitchen. "Everybody go. I had a lot of fun with this."

Stiles goes in last, grinning at her. She smirks back, walking around to the front of the kitchen to spread her arms at all of the things around them.

"I've already made the list for who gets what and everything," she says. "We're all going to knock everything back at once, just for kicks." She starts pointing around, naming off whatever everyone gets: for food-type things it's a spoonful of salt for Aiden, ginger roots for Cora, and dark chocolate for Jackson. The rest is random plants she found around instead of having to go shopping: an autumn skullcap mushroom for Derek (they're crazy poisonous for humans), a psilocybin mushroom for Erica, an orange lily for Boyd, a three-leaf clover for Ethan, moonseed berries for Isaac, and an aloe leaf for Scott. And of course the four humans need to have something too so it's not suspicious: a shot of straight whiskey for Allison (the only alcohol that's allowed out, and she's never had it before, which makes it fun), a spoonful of cinnamon for Danny, a chunk of white chocolate for Lydia (obviously _she's_ not going to eat anything gross), and Stiles gets a spoonful of straight vanilla extract.

Every single person besides Stiles and Lydia start protesting all at once:

Aiden: "Why the fuck is the salt _purple_?"

Cora: "You want me to eat a _root_? I'm a wolf, not a fucking pig."

Jackson: "I used to be _allergic_ to dark chocolate, you _know_ I hate it!"

Derek: "Just because I'm a wolf doesn't mean this isn't going to be poisonous."

Erica: "Wait, wait, these are the _psychedelic_ mushrooms right? Because I heard they're fucking terrifying."

Boyd: "You want me…to eat…a lily?"

Ethan: "Why the fuck would anyone eat a clover? That's like eating grass!"

Isaac: "Isn't moonseed poisonous to humans? What if it is to wolves, too?"

Scott: "Isn't aloe used on sunburns…?"

Allison: "Lydia, I _hate_ alcohol, it smells bad and stings my throat!"

Danny: "I'm going to choke to death!"

Stiles throws on in too so he doesn't sound like he knows too much: "This stuff might _smell_ like heaven, but I'm pretty sure it _tastes_ like the ashes of hell."

Lydia rolls her eyes. "Aiden, it's purple because it has potassium permanganate. It's natural. Jackson, I just want to see if it will do anything. The rest of you can shut up. Nothing is going to be poisonous to you; that doesn't make any sense."

Everyone looks like they want to protest more, but they know that Lydia is the smartest out of all of them, so they can trust her—little do _they_ know they probably shouldn't. She's at least forty-percent evil on any given day.

Lydia holds up her cube of chocolate, waiting for everyone else to hold up their things as well. "Everybody ready?"

They nod.

She looks around just in case. "Aiden, if you swallow at least a tongue-full of that I'll let you have a three-way with Jackson and I."

Jackson looks like he's about to protest that, but Aiden is already agreeing.

And so it begins.

All of Stiles, Allison, Danny, and Aiden spit most of their stuff out right away and go straight for the faucet, but the others actually have to bite down and chew their challenge. Most of them look a little constipated while doing it, but Erica actually looks a little excited. Those mushrooms wouldn't usually affect her enough as wolf, but with the wolfsbane it should do at least a little bit of damage.

"That was the most disgusting thing I have ever done," Aiden chokes out.

"At least _you're_ getting rewarded for it," Danny mutters around the faucet water.

Ethan grins, wrapping his arms around him from behind. "I'll reward you."

Danny coughs slightly, pulling away from the water. "Yeah, okay."

Stiles is grinning like an idiot as he gargles water and spits it into the sink, knowing that everything is going to hit in juuust a few moments now…

"WOWEE!" Scott suddenly screams, the leaf gone. "THAT TASTED LIKE SHIT."

And so it begins.

Stiles grins over at Lydia from where she's grinning at him, but Allison and Danny just look a little concerned about everything as it all begins to unfold.

"Dude, I feel like I could do anything right now…" Boyd says, standing up from his chair. "Does anyone want to go on a jog with me?" He looks over at Erica, sitting very still with very wide eyes. "Do you want me to write your English essay for you?" He looks up again. "Does _everyone_ want me to write their English essay for them?"

"Ohhhhh my gaaaawd," Isaac says, leaning against the kitchen counter. "There are like…zebras. Everywhere." He gives a huge, wide-eyed stare to Derek. "Dude, dude, what if humans lost their skin every winter and walked around as skeletons and the trees get pissed when they have to rake all our skin of their lawns?"

Derek looks at him, blinks a few times, and then bursts into laughter. That's probably the weirdest thing that Stiles has ever seen in his entire life, but then he _talks_: "You…you were _so_ right." He holds a hand up and rests it on Isaac's shoulder. "You were the rightest thing to ever right in ever righting history." He reaches the other one up to the other shoulder. "Not only would the trees _hate_ us and like all of our skin better in the autumn, but imanin…" He frowns. "I am an asshole and I _never_ shuda broken your arm." He slides both hands up his shoulders to rest on cheeks. "And you are the best beta ever and you're…you're _super_ pretty." He pulls him closer for a really tight hug.

Isaac looks like he's just been touched by god, wrapping his arms tightly around Derek and grinning widely. "This is a _way_ better hug than that other one."

He nods, pulling him tighter. "I love you, Isaac."

Isaac laughs, low and…weird. "I love you toooo."

Stiles shakes his head, looking away before he dies of _what the fuck_ intake. Aiden is still at the sink, muttering about "why the _hell_ is my mouth still dry" as he drinks and also scratching a bunch of places on his body in the process. Ethan is just kissing Danny crazily right _next_ to the sink, and Stiles is about to look away from that when he notices in a panic that Danny is dangerously close to knocking an entire tray of Ms. Martin's wine glasses over. Stiles is just in the process of getting across the kitchen to right them when Danny's arm shoves out completely, knocking the box over. Stiles cringes, awaiting a giant crash, but when nothing comes… He peeks out before opening his eyes wide at the way that Ethan is literally balancing the entire box on his foot and lifting his leg up to grab the box—all without breaking the kiss.

Stiles hates to be rude, but… He hops over, tapping Ethan's shoulder once the glasses are put away.

"_What_?" the wolf snaps, eyes glazing red.

Stiles grins. "This is going to sound stupid, but go with it for ten seconds. Do you know what my birthday is?"

He wrinkles his nose up. "Why would I know that?"

"Good. Guess it."

"Stiles, come on, we're busy," Danny protests.

"Just trust me. It'll take ten seconds if you just hurry up and do it."

They both huff, but Aiden does it: "I don't know, how about… August something."

Stiles grins. "Pick a date."

He buzzes his lips. "The…twenty-sixth?"

Stiles laughs, clapping his hands together. "Oh my god, you got Lady Luck! That's great, that's great." He flits off, leaving them to not know what he means on their own.

Cora is currently sitting at a bar stool with a mug of what looks like hot water, her pinky out and her ankles crossed. She smiles politely at Stiles before saying, "Rupert, darling, would you be a dear and get me a lemon from the refrigerator? I couldn't find any tea and need a little pucker to my H-two-oh." She gives a dainty giggle. "Did you hear that? I said water." She leans closer to him, lips puckered cutely. "_Science_."

Stiles gives her a weird look. "Um, before I do that…how did you find out what my real name was?"

She breathes a laugh. "You are _adorable_, darling. I've known for years. You don't think I didn't read through all your personal files, did you? Rupert Allen Stilinski." She smiles. "It's very pristine, I think."

Stiles purses his lips. "Uh, thanks." He quick goes to find a lemon, grabbing a knife as well so she can cut it. "Here."

She eyes him unpleasantly.

Stiles frowns. "What?"

She gives a dainty snort. "You don't expect _me_ to cut it, do you? That's extremely improper for a lady. Do it for me, would you?"

Stiles huffs, doing so. It's kind of funny seeing the queen of the tom boys talking like a priss, but he definitely did not sign up to be cutting lemons. "_Here_," he says, handing her a slice.

He's gone again before she can ask him for anything else, noticing that Scott is currently singing passionately about how much he loves Allison as he dances around her with her both confused and annoyed facial expression and body stance. Erica is still just sitting at the table with wide eyes not doing anything, and when Stiles sees that Jackson is doing the exact same thing he walks over to them.

Erica's hand instantly latches out, claws extended, to wrap around Stiles' wrist. "Don't go near there."

Stiles frowns. "Near where?"

"Right in front of me." She lifts her other hand shakily, pointing straight ahead. It's technically at Jackson, but Stiles has a feeling that to her it's just at something that only she can see. "Everyone's dead, Stiles."

Stiles frowns, squatting down beside her. "What do you mean? We're all right here, Erica."

She shakes her head no. "No, no you're not, I can see you. That's where you are, see?" She points slight to the right of Jackson. "And there's Scott, and Boyd, and everybody else—even Peter. Everybody's dead."

Stiles sighs, turning her chair to face him. She continues to stare straight forward, not seeing. "Try closing your eyes, Erica."

She swallows tightly. "I can't. This is hell, this is…" She pulls in a deep breath, tears beginning to well up behind her eyes. "I can't lose you or anyone else, Stiles. You guys are my family now. You care about me, I can't lose you. I have nightmares about losing you—any one of you, even the twins. I love all of you so much. I could never live without you, Stiles."

Stiles frowns, standing. "Is this your greatest fear?" he asks. "All of us being dead?"

She lets out a shuddering breath. "The greatest one I've ever had," she chokes out, "and now it's true, and I'm the last one alive trying to put myself back together." Tears start to drip down her cheeks, and she reaches her free hand up to cover her mouth.

Stiles licks his lips. "Try and close your eyes, Erica. Please."

"I can't!" she yells. "I can't, Stiles, you're all _dead_, I can't just leave yo—"

Stiles quick puts both his hands over her eyes, the hand holding his wrist falling limp. He thought he would have to coax her some more, but instead she just…goes limp. Not just her wrist, but her entire body. When Stiles moves his hand away she's passed out completely, so he sighs again. He'd ask Lydia to help her, but right now she's over at Aiden with like, thirteen different lotions. Apparently salt creates a perpetual itching. That's gonna be a fun two hours. So he sits down on the edge of her chair, holding her up, and turns to Jackson.

"What's your problem, dude?" he asks.

He suddenly grins really fucking big. "Have you ever wanted to get married, Stiles?" he asks.

Stiles arches an eyebrow. "Uh, sure, eventually. Why?"

"I've always wanted to get married to Lydia, you know? She'd look so beautiful in a wedding dress, and we could have lavenders and pink roses because they match her hair, and we could put a wolf in place of the groom figurine on the cake and just tell everyone that it's an inside joke." He laughs warmly. "I love being in love." He turns to Stiles at that, straight into his eyes. "Do you see it too?"

Stiles blinks at him for a few moments, taking it in. Jackson really is in love with her… He always sort of thought that the guy didn't really know what love even was and just thought that he did, but that was… Stiles sighs. That was love. "Yeah, I see it," he says softly. "You look pretty good in a tux too, dude."

He laughs. "Thanks, but you're definitely not gonna be any of the guys I bring up there. Probably just Danny… Maybe Boyd, too. He's not near as annoying as all of you guys."

Stiles purses his lips. "Why are you seeing that, do you think?"

He frowns, looking back straight ahead. "What do you mean?"

"Why do you see Lydia in a wedding dress? Have you thought about it before?"

He nods, a huge smile spreading across his face. "I've never wanted anything more in my entire life than to see her walking down the aisle. I don't cry for things, but without a doubt I would shed a few tears. Husbands do that, right? When they see their brides in wedding dresses for the first time?" He lets out a happy sigh. "Love is sure great, Stiles. The Notebook sucks, but everything else is _great_."

Stiles has no idea what the Notebook has anything to do with them, but he suddenly gets exactly what Erica and Jackson are both going through. Erica is seeing her greatest fear and Jackson is seeing his greatest want, so he's got a Mirror of Erised going on and Erica's is the opposite. What did they have again? Dark chocolate and psychedelic mushrooms? It's weird how two things so different can have those effects… You'd think it'd be more like white chocolate the good and dark chocolate the bad or something.

"OH MY GOOOOD!" Aiden suddenly screams, throwing his hands into the air (Stiles also notices that Derek and Isaac are _still_ hugging each other…). "WHY THE FUCK IS MY ENTIRE BODY THIS FUCKING DRY?!"

"QUIT COMPLAINING AND DRINK THE DAMN LOTION!" Lydia yells back.

Stiles is about to just ignore them and carry Erica to the nearest couch, but suddenly Cora walks over to them in the most elegant looking outfit Stiles has ever seen.

Lydia frowns. "Are those my clothes?" she asks.

"Do not fret, darling," Cora says, reaching out to rest a hand on Aiden's shoulder. "I will heal you."

Aiden is looking at her like she just declared she was Jesus' second coming, but suddenly her hand starts to glow with a soft yellow light, and for a brief second Aiden's entire body is a ball of light. When it goes away, Cora drops her hand before throwing her arms out. "May the gods be ever in your favor, child." And then she walks away, disappearing out of the kitchen.

Stiles isn't sure if that was supposed to be a Hunger Games pun or what, but Aiden is suddenly not itchy anymore.

"I am literally never eating again," he says, glaring at Lydia before stomping off.

Lydia looks over at Stiles with an incredulous look. "What just happened?"

Stiles blinks at her. "Um…I think Cora is a momentary healer who is also very proper."

"…what?"

"She had the ginger root, right? That turned her crazy elegant, and that's why she's dressed in your clothes. And remember how lime takes away life? I gave her a lemon for her hot water without thinking and there must have been enough…" He trails off, looking around. "Uh, there must have been enough catcall"—(best code word ever, thanks)—"left in her system to use the lemon as well, and it did the opposite of the lime. It gives life, so she can heal people."

Lydia blinks back. "How many times have I told you that you're a lot smarter than you look?"

Stiles shrugs. "A lot."

She nods, moving towards him. "What's wrong with her?"

"Uh…she was having hallucinations of her worst fear and when I covered her eyes she passed out. Want to help me carry her to the couch?"

"Wow," Lydia says, going over to her other side. "Yeah, let's do this."

Once Erica is tucked in on the couch, both of them move back into the kitchen and just sort of…go through what everyone has. Scott's aloe leaf must have turned him into a Broadway actor since he won't stop singing everything he does, Derek's autumn skullcap mushroom turned him crazy drunk (he would never laugh otherwise), Isaac's moonseed is apparently catnip for wolves and got him crazy high (no wonder Scott stole some from Chris; he just didn't have any wolfsbane to make it this potent), Ethan's clover gave him Lady Luck, Jackson's dark chocolate gave him a Mirror of Erised effect (Stiles will tell Lydia what he saw when it's not so hectic), Erica's psilocybin mushrooms gave her the _opposite_ of the Mirror of Erised, Aiden's salt made his entire body super dry, and Boyd's lily gave him an extreme motivation.

"Wow," Lydia says. "We never should have done so many at once."

Stiles gives a fervent nod. "Never again. Did you hear about the salsa earlier?"

She shakes her head. "I knew it did something, but that's as far as I got."

"Crazy emotions, apparently. Scott kind of wears everything on his sleeve so it wasn't too bad, but he started freaking out about his relationship with Allison and kept telling me how much he loved me during gym. I don't know Isaac's specifics, but I heard that he kept bursting into random tears during chemistry…"

Lydia nods. "You've got a full list for Deaton, then."

Stiles buzzes his lips. "Yeah, wow. We're going to have a full plate too when all of this wears off… Everything lasts about two hours and they're going to _kill_ us."

"Maybe we should hide by then?"

"That's probably a good idea. We'll leave like five minutes before and just…go get food somewhere."

"Yeah, that sounds good. I've been craving Denny's lately."

Stiles smiles. "Denny's it is."

He's about to go make sure Boyd is okay since he hasn't seen him in a while, but suddenly Derek and Isaac are in front of him.

"You're pretty too!" Derek says loudly, grasping onto Stiles' face. "You've got these eyes and these moles and this skin and…" He frowns, looking at Isaac. "The trees aren't going to rake up _Stiles'_ skin, are they?"

Stiles shudders and leaps away, hoping to get away to—

He _oomphs_, running smack into Scott's beaming figure. "Stiles!" he says happily. "Sing with me!"

Stiles cringes. "Uh, no, I—"

But he starts singing anyway: "_Let's face the facts about me and you, our love unspecified__…"_

Stiles instantly recognizes it as "Guy Love" from Scrubs, which he and Scott memorized a very long time ago, and he really doesn't want to, but… Scott has these _eyes_ and you just can't say no to them. They're literally puppy dog eyes. Stiles hates it. So he sighs and nods.

Scott whoops, throwing his arms around him before continuing:

_"__Though I'm proud to call you 'mole bear', the crowd will always talk and stare."  
_  
_"I feel exactly those feelings too, and that's why I keep them inside, 'cause this bear can't bare the worlds disdain and sometimes is easier to hide."_

"

_Then explain our guy love, that's all it is  
Guy love he's mine I'm his__  
__There's nothing gay about it in our eyes."_

"

_You ask me 'bout this thing we share..."_

"...and he tenderly replies…"

And even when Jackson screams at them to shut the fuck up, they ignore him and just keep singing. Stiles decides that he likes singing with Scott. For the time being, anyway… Singing how much he loves someone is probably annoying as fuck.

When they finish singing, Stiles walks over to Allison, grinning. "Lydia and I are going to ditch to Denny's just before all of this wears off," he says. "Wanna come?"

She snorts. "Yeah, and you _better_ tell me what you know, 'cause you've been whispering all night."

Stiles nods. "Fair enough."

* * *

References: "What if humans lost their skin every winter and walked around as skeletons and the trees get pissed when they have to rake all our skin of their lawns." Totally stole this from a tumblr post.

Concoctions: There were 11 of them this chapter!  
**1.** Aloe leaves (Scott's food challenge): Treats everything like Broadway, so they're super overdramatic and sing everything they're saying  
**2.** Autumn skullcap mushroom (Derek's fc): Affects the liver, causing one to become crazy drunk  
**3.** Clover (Ethan's fc): Extreme luck  
**4.** Dark chocolate: A Mirror of Erised affect

**5.** Ginger (Cora's fc): Extreme elegance; dressing, eating, speaking, etc.  
**6.** Moonseed berries (Isaac's fc): An extreme high  
**7.** Psilocybin mushrooms (Erica's fc): Opposite effect of the Mirror of Erised, being that they see their worst fear  
**8.** Salsa: Extreme vulnerability; tells all their secrets without care and isn't afraid to show their emotions  
**9.** Lily (Boyd's fc): Extreme motivation; can be channeled into work, cleaning, homework, etc.  
**10.** Salt (Aiden's fc): Extreme thirst; dry skin  
**11.** Lemon (Cora's second food): Life, being that it can heal any sort of wound, no matter how large


	4. Revenge

[Chapter summary: In which Stiles is totally fucked and Derek recruits Peter.]

**4: Revenge**

_"Before you embark on a journey of revenge,  
dig two graves."  
_—Confucius—

_DEREK  
Friday…_

Derek's vision suddenly clears, and he gives a huge groan as pain shoots through his head once before disappearing completely. He looks around to see that he's still in the kitchen at Lydia's, and almost all the others are as well. He can smell Erica in the living room and all of Boyd, Ethan, and Danny somewhere upstairs.

Whatever happened, it looks like everyone is coming out of it right as he is… Everyone is looking around like they were all crazy drunk and don't remember anything.

Cora is in one of Lydia's longer dresses and a million different accessories, and she instantly looks like she hates it. "Why the fuck did I raid Lydia's closet?"

Derek gives a little start as Isaac suddenly stands up beside him from the floor, eyes rubbed red. "I feel like I just smoked an entire pound of weed and then dipped my eyes in ice."

Erica walks into the kitchen after that, rubbing the back of her head. "None of you are dead, right?"

Jackson just groans, dropping his head to the table he's sitting at. "Stiles is going to tell _everyone_."

Scott is smiling, sitting down beside him. "I love singing."

"Dude," Aiden says to Derek. "I think you were drunk. Like…_really_ fucking drunk." Then to Cora: "Also, I've never used so many different lotions in my entire life, and then _you_ just come out of fucking nowhere and start to glow. What the fuck?"

Boyd comes down at that. "Two things," he says, holding up a finger. "One, Ethan and Danny were playing darts in the office and Ethan was making every single one in the middle—even the ones where he threw it over his shoulder _backwards_. That's fuckin' weird. Two, does anyone want to tell me why and _how_ I managed to write everyone's English essays with completely different points and in what sounds like your own words?"

Derek's eyes are narrowed more than he's ever had them in his life. He was already going to kill Stiles, but now Lydia is in on it too?

Cora steps up in front of him, a glint in her eyes. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

Isaac grins. "Revenge?"

Derek nods. "Revenge."

**OoOoOoO**

_STILES  
Friday…_

Lydia stares at Stiles with wide eyes from across the Denny's booth, Allison beside her. They would have brought Danny with them, but he and Ethan were…busy. "Can you repeat that?" she asks quietly.

Stiles sighs slightly, scratching the back of his neck. "Jackson was having a Mirror of Erised effect and getting married to you is what he saw."

She blinks a lot, a…lot of looks on her face. Surprise and confusion and disgust and _love_ and Stiles isn't sure if he feels sad or sick or both.

Allison huffs. "You got a declaration of love and I got _Broadway Boys_."

Stiles smiles at that. "I've got a thing for you too, actually. What do you and Scott usually do in free time?"

She arches an eyebrow.

"_Besides_ sex," he stresses.

She shrugs. "Homework and training."

"Exactly. Those are both great things every now and again, but Scott is a little…" He tips his hand back and forth. "So-so about it. He wants to do other things too, you know? You should suggest ice-skating or bowling again, dude."

She sighs. "I _knew_ it. I've just been doing a lot of stuff for all the darkness that occasionally shows up. I didn't want to be unprepared."

"Well, preparing yourself is boring, so give him a blowjob in a bathroom stall or something."

She gives him a dull look. "Did he tell you to say that?"

Stiles laughs. "Nah, I'm just an asshole."

Lydia perks up at that point, eyes still surprised and confused, but face back to normal. "_Speaking_ of assholes…" She gives Stiles a little smirk. "Guess who was staring at you _all_ night?"

Stiles frowns, but Allison speaks first: "People stare all the time, he's a klutz."

Stiles rolls his eyes. "Who?"

"Mr. Big Bad Wolf himself."

Stiles wrinkles his nose up. "_Derek_? I mean, he told me I was pretty, but he told Isaac he was pretty too, so…"

Allison gives an angry huff. "I can't believe you guys didn't get any of this on film."

Stiles frowns again. "I can't believe we didn't think of that."

Lydia snorts. "Speak for yourself. I had cameras up all over the kitchen."

Allison grins at her. "I love how evil you are."

She nods. "Many do, actually. Anyway…" She leans closer to Stiles. "You told me about my admirer, I told you about yours." She leans away. "Do with it what you will."

Stiles gives a one-shouldered shrug. "Nothing?"

"Are you serious?" Allison asks. "A drunk Derek is the only non-secretive one. You totally need to find out what it meant."

"Maybe he thought I was someone else? Derek hates me, dude. He's pretty sure I keep drugging his things, too; why would he wants to get anywhere near me?"

Suddenly the Denny's door flies open, and in stomps none other than Derek. "Stiles!" he snarls.

"Probably to murder you," Lydia whispers.

Stiles gulps. "Think I could make a run for it?"

"It'd be safer if you stayed here," Allison says. "In here he can't—"

A Denny's employee steps up to Derek then. "Excuse me, sir, but could you please keep your voice down? I don't want to upset any—"

Derek cuts him off with a roar right in his face. No features show, but it's obvious it isn't human.

"Never mind," Lydia says. "Run."

Stiles literally dives over chairs and tables to get to the back door, sprinting around to—

He screams (he'd like to say not like a girl, but it totally is) when there's suddenly a _net_ in front of him, balling him up. There's laughter all around him, and Stiles looks up to see most all of the other wolves. Aiden bends down to his face, eyes glowing red. "Get ready for a little food challenge of our own, asshole."

Stiles gulps again. He is so fucked.

"Aiden!" someone snaps, and everyone looks over to Lydia. "And the rest of you! What do you think you're doing?"

"Teaching him a lesson," Boyd says. "I just wrote over ten English essays and I never want to do it again."

"I was in a _dress_," Cora hisses. "What did you think we were doing, taking him out to tea?"

Lydia rolls her eyes. "You really think _Stiles_ would think of all this? It's been _my_ ideas, you idiots. Stiles just like me too much to turn down any of the evil ones. We didn't know what effects things would have, it was an _experiment_."

Derek frowns from behind her. "_Your_ idea?"

She turns to him. "Yes, mine. Are you going to put _me_ in a net or suck it up if we promise to stop? Because, alpha or not, I will decimate you if you get a single fucking piece of fur on me."

Everyone is silent for a long time, staring. Stiles should have known she would have perfected lying without her heartbeat rising and falling. No wonder he likes her so much. Everyone looks extremely conflicted, but Jackson finally speaks:

"Did Stiles tell—"

"Yes," he says, smirking slightly. "You better wait until _after_ I graduate from college."

He smiles. "I can do that."

"Well _I_ can't!" Isaac snaps. "I spoke out way more than I ever wanted to and you should at _least_ buy me dinner or something after the terrible food from earlier."

She nods. "Fair enough."

"_All_ of us?" Erica asks softly. "Because I've had nightmares before, but that was…" She swallows tightly. "That was something I never want to live through again."

Lydia nods. "All of you but for Ethan. Don't look so surprised, I have the money. These clothes don't magically appear in my closet, you know."

"That wasn't you before too thoguh, right?" Scott asks him. "The truth serum and the salsa and stuff?"

"It was all me, Scott," Lydia says. "You know better than anyone that he'd do anything for me."

Stiles knows that she's saying it to save his ass, but he also knows that she wholeheartedly believes it, and for some reason that bothers Stiles. The problem is that he knows he would too. He'd literally do anything for her and she doesn't even like him very much most of the time. What a pushover.

Everything gets a little awkward at that point, the wolves letting Stiles out of the net so that he can scramble up and go hide beside Lydia even if her words did annoy him a little. Nobody knows what to say anymore, so they mostly just walk away so they can go to their respective homes. Stiles and Lydia go back inside so they can get Allison and their food.

"You're paying," Lydia says to Stiles, and Stiles knows that there's a very unspoken "because you fucking owe me" behind it, so he gives a fervent nod and pulls out his wallet.

He drives both of them home afterwards, Lydia saying that she'll get everything off the cameras before any "sober" wolves accidentally see them. When he gets home (his dad isn't, so he must be working) he goes straight over to his desk to open his laptop, ready for his nightly email/Facebook/tumblr/whatever check.

He turns around at one point to reach into his backpack for something, and with another non-manly scream he notices Derek leaning casually against the closed door. "What the fuck?" he yells. "I thought we were passed not knocking!"

Derek looks up from where he was staring at the ground to show off blazing red eyes. "I know Lydia was lying for you," he says.

Stiles frowns. "What?"

He stands up straighter, dropping his crossed arms. "I know that Lydia was lying for you," he repeats, "and I know that now you're playing dumb so I don't hurt you."

Stiles swallows tightly. "…what?" It comes out weak.

Derek crosses the room, stopping to tower over where Stiles is sitting in his roller chair. "Who all knows about it?"

Stiles backs his chair up slightly. "I'm not telling you _anything_."

He unsheathes the claws on one hand and reaches out to dig them into Stiles' shirt, lifting him upright and even up into the air, the shirt surprisingly not tearing any further. Obviously Derek has done this before and knows how it works. "I suggest you do."

"Yeah?" Stiles snaps, deciding he's not scared at all anymore. Derek is a prick. "What are _you_ going to do about it? Rough me up a little bit? You wouldn't dare. You'd fucking want to, but you know that some of the others _and_ my dad would be all over your ass."

Derek's red eyes flare brighter, and he sets Stiles down to the side of his chair very slowly. "I'm not going to rough you up," he says, crossing his arms. "I'm going to experiment on _you_."

"What does that even _mean_?"

Derek bends down slightly to get to his level, fangs bared. "I'm not telling you _anything_."

Stiles rolls his eyes, shoving passed him. "You are literally an overgrown five year old and are not scary at all. I stopped being scared of you a long time ago." He frowns, turning back around to him. "Speaking of which, am I really pretty?"

Derek huffs, crossing his arms. "You got me drunk, I really don't think you can trust anything I said. I called Isaac pretty too, apparently, and I tried kissing Jackson at one point."

"You weren't staring at anybody else though."

"Probably because you've got the messiest hair?"

Stiles reaches up to it, feeling that it really is pretty messy. "Oh."

Derek frowns at that, some sort of realization dawning in his eyes as they fade to green. "What did you think it was?"

Stiles shrugs. "I wasn't going to dwell on it at all, but Lydia told me she saw you staring and Allison told me I should figure it out."

He hums, averting his eyes. "Due to the fact that I don't remember looking at you at all I can't make any educated guesses, but your hair really is sticking out a million directions."

"Yeah, I'll brush it later."

Derek looks back at him. "That was a shitty party."

"It wasn't supposed to be fun. The entire thing was planned to experiment on you guys."

Derek huffs. "And to think I was actually going to try and bond with all of you."

Stiles laughs. "You suck at bonding, man. Why don't you just let us do it, though? Cora's thing with the lemons gave her _healing_ powers, dude, not to mention Ethan's Lady Luck. That thing that made you sick and Aiden itchy can even be used as weapons!"

Derek rolls his eyes. "I'm not going to let my betas or myself be experimented on, Stiles. If you can get the others too, go for it, but I won't let you."

"Aw, come on, it's not _so_ bad."

"How does it even work, anyway? All Cora did was use lemon juice in her hot water and I've had tons of those. Why would…" He trails off, more realization n his eyes. "Oh my god, the purple salt mixed in with Aiden's spoonful. It wasn't salt at all. You're feeding us powdered wolfsbane. You are literally tricking us into ingesting our greatest weakness."

Stiles gives a guilty smile. "Sometimes it makes it better though, right? That's good."

Derek's eyes flare red again. "You are _dead_, you little—" He cuts off when the front door opens and Stiles' dad calls up a greeting. So he glares over at Stiles, moving towards the window. "Just you wait," he mutters. And then he's gone, disappearing into the night.

Stiles lets out a huge sigh of relief. His dad was just in time. He calls back his own greeting before pulling out his cell phone, calling Deaton's personal number (knowing that it's late enough he'll just have it on silent) to tell him about all the new things in the last couple of days. He really will talk to the others about being okay with the experiments, and he knows with some coaxing that Scott and Ethan will both be okay with it. The others will take some work, but that's alright. He's having way too much fun to care.

**OoOoOoO**

_DEREK  
Friday…_

Derek knows he's going to regret this, but right now he's too angry to care.

"Well _hello_ there," Peter answers his phone in greeting. "Finally missed your uncle, did you?"

Derek glares at his cell phone. "I need your help."

He snorts. "You need _my_ help? Aren't you just afraid I'll slit your throat when you're not looking?"

"You won't when I tell you what I need help with."

"What, finally admitting your feelings for Stiles?"

Derek rolls his eyes. "Just because my sick wolf wouldn't let go of him does not mean I want to kiss him. Now, do you want to hear what I _really_ want to do with him or not?"

Peter is silent for a moment. "I did not know that this would really have to do with Stiles. What did he do wrong?"

"Powdered wolfsbane ingestion."

"Oh my god, is that why you were sick? I can't believe you didn't smell that, you idiot. Do you think he made you sick on purpose?" He laughs. "Maybe he likes _you_."

Derek huffs. "No, he didn't know what it would do."

"And you actually believe him?"

"You actually think _Stiles_, of all people, would be able to keep his heartbeat calm?"

"Are you kidding? Stiles is terrifying. I already know Lydia can do it, but Stiles is easily next on the list."

Derek snorts. "You think _Stiles_ is terrifying? How?"

"Obviously he hasn't been as angry at you as he was at me that one time."

"What 'one time'?"

"Remember back when you all found out that I actually want to destroy all of you and you all wanted to come after me in your own way instead of just ganging up together?"

Derek sighs. He remembers that, and it's why Peter is still alive today. It was idiotic. "What about it?"

"Stiles found me on his own at one point, one of Chris's guns in hand, and actually could have killed me. Headshot. Instead he smirked and shot me in the neck."

Derek is silent for a moment. "He could have killed you and he didn't?"

"Nope. Obviously getting shot in the neck hurts like a bitch so I went straight down, and he was over to me even more before I could move. He used his last five shots for both my shoulders, both my thighs, and one right in my chest. Stuffed some dirt and shit into the wounds too. After that he told me not to fuck with his friends and walked off."

Derek is silent again. "He…" He frowns deeper. "Really? _Stiles_ did that?"

"I told you he's terrifying. If you mess with his pack he turns ruthless. I'd be careful around that kid. Anyway, what did you want to do to him?"

Derek shakes his head, trying to get the idea of a scary Stiles out of his head. That doesn't even make sense. "I need you to do something, actually, as revenge for the whole thing. Don't hurt him—_don't fucking hurt him_—but just scare him or something. Like…take him home and tie him up for a while."

"That sounds like a porno, Derek."

Derek rolls his eyes again. "You are insufferable."

"Can I just come up with my own thing?"

"As long as he doesn't get hurt."

"Nah, he's too cute to actually hurt. All those moles and that adorable smile… Accidents happen, though, but I won't do anything on…purpose."

Derek can hear those lips curling back in an evil smirk through the phone, but he keeps talking before anything can be said about it:

"Honestly, Derek, you _should_ like the kid. He's exactly what you need."

Derek wrinkles his nose up. "How?"

"He'd whip you right into shape. You're just a big ball of darkness and he'd actually be able to make you laugh eventually—that or annoy you so much that you get a higher tolerance and stop being such a dick to everyone."

"_I'm_ the dick? I'm sorry, who killed people for power?"

"And who's the one asking me to get back at someone for you?"

Derek frowns. That's true. "Just don't hurt him. And do it tonight, would you? He won't expect something so early when he thinks he's safe at home with his dad."

"You care way too much, Derek. You can actually trust me sometimes, you know. Just because I want to kill you and your friends doesn't mean I'm _all_ bad."

Derek rolls his eyes for a third time. "Goodbye, Peter."

He chuckles. "G'bye, kiddo. Wish me luck."

"No." He hangs up and pockets his phone, and for some reason he feels…better. Usually he talks to Peter and wants to break things, but he knows Peter well enough to know that this is probably going to be hilarious. He better takes pictures.

**OoOoOoO**

_STILES  
Saturday (Early Morning)…_

Stiles is literally about to pass out when his phone rings, and he huffs when he sees that it's an unknown number. He could ignore it and go to sleep, but he's gotten calls from friends with unknown numbers before, so…

"Hello?" he mutters.

"Stiles?" a frantic voice asks. It sounds female and familiar, but not anyone he can place.

"Uh, yes? Who is this?"

"Stiles, I need your help, please," they choke out. "You have to come to Derek's old house, okay? If you don't come they're going to kill me. You have to come, _please_." They hang up.

Stiles stares at it, eyes wide. What the hell? He sits up and starts to get dressed, trying to decide if this is actually a good idea. He's going to have to sneak out and _walk_ there, and then what if it's a trap? Derek could just be fucking with him too though, so—

His phone buzzes with a picture message, and when he looks at it his eyes widen in fear. A woman with a bag over her head is hanging upside down from her ankles in the middle of the old Hale living room, and the words of the message read, **You have 10 minutes before we kill her.** Stiles doesn't give a _fuck_ who it is after that, he's out of the window and sprinting towards the old mansion the second he has his Converse tied.

He's huffing and puffing by the time he gets to the woods just around the mansion, everything eerily quiet. Now he's wishing he brought some sort of weapon with him, but it's too late for that. He has less than a minute to get into the house.

He bursts through the main door instead of trying to sneak in since they're probably weird, supernatural things that can smell him anyway, and right away he sees the woman tied up off in the living room.

He swallows tightly, stepping inside and closing the door behind him. "Hello?" he calls, staying there at the door. "Stiles is here, hi."

A dark figure appears to his right and points at the room, and Stiles notices that he's wearing a very similar mask to the ones that all the robbers at the beginning of The Dark Night Rises were. "Move it," he says scratchily.

Stiles does, eyeing him slightly before just going passed him and into the burnt living room.

"You're just in time," the man says, walking up to the upside down woman. "We were just about to slit her throat."

Stiles eyes him wearily. "Who are you, who is she, and why did you want me to come after her?"

"_I_," the man says, "no longer exist. And your friend here…" He goes up to her and, with a swipe of very werewolfy claws, slashes the ropes at her ankles so that she falls. Stiles assumes that she's going to crumble there, but instead her arms swing out and she flips around to land on her feet before even hitting the ground.

"And your _friend_ here," her voice says, muffled, as he hops in front of Stiles and rips the bag off of her head to reveal another mask and long, dark brown hair, "is not actually your friend at all."

Shit.

Stiles instantly scrambles backwards, slamming into the wall behind him. Fuck, he didn't even tell anyone where he was going! They might be able to follow his scent, but… Shit. Shit, shit, fuck.

Both of the people in masks laugh menacingly, and for some reason they start to…back away. Stiles is debating whether or not he should take a run for it just to see if it works, but suddenly there's a low rumbling, followed by a low creaking, and then the ceiling caves in around them, sending up dust and ash and dirt.

Stiles coughs and goes to make a break for it while it's still hard to see, but instead he bumps into some huge and furry. He wipes his eyes and looks up, instantly scrambling back again when he sees a giant ass alpha wolf, except that the eyes are for some reason blue.

More shit.

The wolf drops down on all fours and jumps forward to slam Stiles onto his back, fangs dripping literal blood when he leans over him. "You shouldn't come alone to save strangers, little human," the wolf says, deep and low and gravely. "Didn't your wolves ever teach you that?"

If Stiles is going to die, he ain't going to do it like a wimp. "Oh, they did," he says, narrowing his eyes. "I just never listen to people."

The wolf hums, but it sounds like more of a growl. "I'm glad, because now you're here, and I'm very hungry for…" He reaches a hand-like and very clawed paw up, holding it a few inches above Stiles' face. "Revenge."

Stiles frowns at that, reaching up and pushing the paw aside. "Revenge?" And then it hits him. This alpha form is… "Holy fuck, _Peter_?"

The wolf laughs, and all of his features slowly melt away until said crazy uncle is leaning above him. "What a familiar picture," he says, holding his hand above his neck. "Poor Lydia, so beautiful and yet so fragile…"

Stiles glares, shoving his hand away more forcefully. "You aren't changing me, asshole. What revenge are you even doing this for? Those fucking bullet holes?"

"Possibly. Nobody even knew that you had that gun, you know… Not Chris or Derek or even your best friend…" He hums, weight on his knees. Stiles didn't even notice how awkward this position was with Peter as a human until right now. "Were you ever going to tell them how scary you can really be?"

Stiles rolls his eyes. "Yeah, because _I'm_ terrifying. All I did was shoot you six times and glare a lot."

He chuckles. "Well, here we are anyway."

Stiles glares some more. "That was _my_ revenge on _you_, and you deserved it. You killed your own niece just to become the alpha and then tried to get Scott to kill _us_ and a million other things. I don't deserve any of this."

Peter tilts his head slightly. "Oh? Not even for a few certain…experiments?"

Stiles' eyes bulge. "Oh my god, you're here for _Derek_?"

Peter laughs. "Definitely not, my nephew hates me. I just hear about a lot of things and would _love_ to get my hands on some of those things…" He gives an evil grin. "I want you to get me the list of things that you have so far, Stiles, and maybe I won't hurt you and your friends anymore. Maybe I'll just leave this place and go wreak havoc somewhere else."

Stiles snorts. "I'd rather you cause trouble here where we at least _know_ how to deal with you."

"Oh?" He stands up then, rocking back effortlessly on his heels without any arm strength. He motions to the two in masks. "Who do you think those are?"

Stiles frowns, staring at them. They both sounded familiar, but… "How the hell should I know?"

Peter motions for both of them to take their masks off, and when they do Stiles gives a shameless gasp. There stand Deucalion and Jennifer, both of which Stiles knows are very dead. Scott watched Derek kill Deucalion, and Peter sent Derek a grinning selfie of him with Jennifer's severed head.

"What the hell?" he yells, turning back to Peter. "What did you _do_?"

Peter shrugs. "Magic."

"You can't do magic!"

"I can, obviously. They're not really alive, but that's the beauty of it… They can't get hurt. So…" He reaches out, snatching the front of Stiles' t-shirt (thankfully he didn't change out of the one Derek already put holes in so these new ones don't matter) and lifting him up into the air. "_Get me that list_," he snarls.

"Fine!" Stiles snaps, kicking his legs. "I'll get you the fucking list," he lies. "Set me down!"

"Are you sure?" He lowers him, pulling him close to bare his fangs. "You heartbeat is pretty fast."

"I'm also pretty fucking terrified, so it looks like you won't find out," he spits. "Now let me go before someone comes after me, asshole."

Peter laughs, letting him go. "Run back home, Stiles. Get some sleep. You and your friends are going to need it if I don't get that—"

"Yeah, the list, I _get_ it." He shoves passed him, going to the door. Peter may think that Stiles is the one in trouble, but that wolf is going to be _so_ fucked after Stiles is done with him. He's going to make such a crazy concoction of shit that he'll never get near him again. He thinks he's terrifying with a gun? He's in for a fucking treat.


	5. Terrify Me

[Chapter summary: In which Stiles is terrifying, Peter is next on the fucked list, and Derek's heart goes weird.]

**5: Terrifying Me**

"_Tyrants smile with their last breath  
For they know that at their death,  
Tyranny just changes hands,  
Serfdom lives on in their lands."  
_—Heinrich Heine, "King David"

_STILES  
Saturday…_

"You're here early."

Stiles looks up from the operation table to see Deaton there, a look of almost concern on his face. Stiles ignores it. "Did you get my message?" he asks.

"I did when I woke," he says. "I was just about to file them. When did you get here?"

"A couple hours ago."

"What for?"

Stiles blinks for a few moments before looking down at all of the shit laid out before him. "I can't tell you."

Deaton sets his things down and steps up to the other side of the table. "I think you should, Stiles."

Stiles looks back up at him. "It's about Peter."

The doctor raises an eyebrow. "What about Peter?"

"He wants our list and I'm going to trick him into drinking the wrong thing," he says. "I want it to be as painful as possible."

Derek smiles lightly. "Might I suggest some things you haven't tired yet?"

Stiles frowns. "How do you know it won't be good for him?"

"I only mean to test a few more things before you jump to conclusions."

Stiles huffs. "He brought Deucalion and Jennifer _back to life_, Deaton. With _magic_. I don't know what he's planning but he needs to go down _now_."

Deaton hums, moving to put his things away instead of just on the floor. "Maybe you should, then. Scott is going to be here any minute, by the way. He works today."

Stiles sighs. "It's fine, he already knows about the experiments. They all do."

"They believe that it was Lydia's idea though, don't they? They probably shouldn't know that it's actually mine."

"We could probably tell Scott, actually," Stiles says. "He'd probably be okay with us testing on him now that he knows the truth."

"That's true. I got you some new plants too, plus Victoria's old mister. They're in the cupboard—"

"Over the sink," Scott says, appearing out of nowhere. "I was wondering what those were doing there."

Stiles has the decency to give him a guilty look. "Lydia lied to you, sorry."

He sighs. "You could have told me, you know," he says, setting his things down. "I would have let you from the start."

"The others wouldn't have, though, and usually I need to test on more than one to make sure it affects all of you the same."

He nods. "It's alright, I never got hurt. I feel bad for the others, though." He cringes slightly. "And Allison. I sang to her for like, two hours."

Stiles grins. "You sang with me too; it was fun."

Scott nods, looking at the table. "What are you working on now?" he asks.

Stiles purses his lips.

Scott frowns. "I know that look. You better tell me, dude. I hate it when you keep secrets from me."

Stiles instantly breaks down, telling him everything about Peter, including the six gunshots and leaving him to pry the bullets out on his own before the wounds closed around them.

Scott stares for a long time, but when he does speak it's not what Stiles expected: "You went after Peter on your own and didn't kill him?"

Stiles rolls his eyes. "Like _you_ would have."

"No, I know I wouldn't have, but…you're different than me."

Stiles frowns. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're a lot more ruthless than me, dude. You scare me sometimes."

Stiles frowns deeper. What the hell? "Dude, Peter said I scare him too. You didn't know about that though; why do _you_ think I am?"

Scott raises both shoulders. "Because you can stare a dark elf in the face and call it a name before cutting its head off? Those things were freaky, dude."

Stiles remembers that. They weren't nice. "Yeah, well, they were trying to hurt you and the others, so there."

"And there's your advantage," Deaton says, moving to the cupboard above the sink with rubber gloves on. "You become stronger when someone you love needs protecting."

Stiles purses his lips. "Yeah, except for the time my dad went missing and I just had a panic attack instead."

"That was because there was nothing you _could_ do."

Stiles gives an aggravated sigh. "Whatever, I'm going to fuck Peter's shit up and it's going to be awesome."

"And terrifying," Scott adds.

Stiles ignores him. "What are the gloves for?" he asks Deaton as he's bringing the plants over to the table.

"Poison ivy," he says, stripping the gloves off and tossing them into the trash. "You'll need some too, but Scott will be fine."

Stiles pulls some on before separating the two types of plants there.

"That's poison ivy," Deaton says, "and the other there is monkshood. You can also test the carrots and apple I brought in my lunch, if you'd like."

Stiles nods. "Just give me a bites worth." He picks up his syringe of liquid wolfsbane to inject into the plants since having it powdered would be useless now that Scott knows and will just take a bite out of it.

"I would liquidize the poison ivy," the doctor says.

Stiles frowns. "What for?"

"It rubs against the skin easier. Anything with the word 'poison' or the equivalent in its name probably shouldn't be ingested."

Stiles decides not to tell him about feeding Derek that mushroom and just nods, going about the process to do so while Deaton flits off for his lunch bits.

Scott sighs. "I'm going to have to try these, aren't I?"

Stiles shrugs. "That or I sneak them into more things for the others."

When Deaton comes back and Stiles does up the two foods, Scott grabs the apple first, looking at it nervously. "This is going to suck."

"Wait, wait," Stiles says Scott as he turns to Deaton. "Do you happen to have any lemons around?"

Deaton smiles. "I have a bottle of lemon juice in the fridge for my hot water."

"Will that work the same?"

"I'm sure it will."

"Cool." Stiles quick grabs it out, setting it next to Scott. "This will heal you if whatever you get really sucks," he says.

Scott nods. "That makes me feel way better." He shoves the entire apple slice into his mouth, chewing fast and swallowing hard. They all sort of just stand there, and when Scott starts shaking his hands Stiles knows that it's pretty close.

"Whoa," Scott says with a giggle, looking down his feet. "The pressure from the ground is really tickling my feet." He giggles again, looking at his jeans. "My belt is too tight."

Stiles raises an eyebrow, reaching out and resting a hand on his shoulder.

Scott laughs loud, shoving him away. "That tickles, dude!"

Stiles pokes him again in a few other places, earning the same response.

"Well," he says, picking up the lemon juice bottle. "That was anti-climatic."

"It made him extra ticklish?" Deaton asks, holding up a recorder.

"Yup," Stiles says, holding the bottle out to Scott. "Drink this, buddy."

Scott giggles as he takes the bottle, complaining that it tickles too, and quick takes a few sips before setting it back down. His entire body ignites in a flash of white light, and he lets out a sigh. "That wasn't as bad as I expected."

Stiles nods, handing him the baby carrot. "Try this now."

Scott uses the lemon juice just as fast, because instead of everything tickling at a touch, everything causes pain.

"More opposites," Stiles says. "Convenient. Does it work the same way with all fruits and veggies, do you think?" he asks Deaton.

"Not if the lemon juice causes something else," he says.

"Good point." Stiles hands him the monkshood leaf. "Go for it."

Scott huffs, shoving the leaf into his mouth and chewing fast. He shakes his hands a couple of times, and suddenly his eyes turn almost frightened. "Dude, Stiles, this is a really bad idea," he chokes out, his left leg shaking slightly. "Like…are you sure we should be doing this?"

Stiles frowns. "Doing what? Making you test things?"

"I mean, that's bad too, but I meant killing Peter. It sounds really dangerous." His hands start shaking crazily, and he shoves them into his pockets. "What if it goes wrong?" That doesn't work, so he pulls them out and holds onto the table. The whole thing just shakes, though, so he huffs and just holds them at his sides. "Like, what if you _can't_ lie right and Peter doesn't go for it? You could die instead dude!"

Stiles looks over at Deaton while Scott keeps jittering. "What should we call extreme nervousness?"

He holds up his recorder. "We'll think of something later."

Stiles nods, reaching for the lemon juice. All of the sudden Scott's hand shoots out, bumping over the glass vial of liquid poison ivy and knocking it all over himself to instantly forget about being nervous as he yelps in pain.

"Shit!" he yells. "Stiles, it's burning me!"

Stiles looks in horror as Scott's skin is bubbling and burning away so fast that his wolf side isn't able to completely keep up with it. Almost without thinking he dumps the lemon juice over and squeezes it out of the little tube on top, washing it over Scott's slow-eating burns. With the wolfsbane still potent enough for the lemon it instantly stops burning with a spark of white light, and then Scott's hand starts healing.

Both Stiles and Scott let out sighs of relief, and Scott starts to thank him, but Stiles' mind is elsewhere…

Deaton is looking at him with a glint in his eyes. "I hope I know what you're thinking," he says.

Stiles grins. "I'm going to burn Peter from the inside out."

Even Scott starts grinning at that. This is going to be great.

Stiles whips out his phone and dials Derek's number, ignoring the hello obviously pulled straight from sleep.

"Your revenge on me from Peter backfired and I'm going to kill him with liquid fire," he says.

Derek sputters slightly. Stiles should wake him more often; it's cute. "What?" he eventually gets out. "Really? You can do that? How?"

Stiles grins again. "Come over to Deaton's and I'll show you."

"Give me fifteen minutes."

Stiles hangs up and smiles at Deaton. "Want to help make some more? I want a couple shots full. Peter's gonna down an entire fucking glass when I'm done with him." He turns to Scott. "Get Lydia over here too, would you? I'm going to need her lying ability."

Scott frowns at that. "I thought you already could with stuff like this."

Stiles frowns in turn. "Why?"

"Well, like, whenever you're really pissed off your heart is beating too fast for it to matter anyway, but sometimes you're _so_ angry that your heart is beating slower than usual. You probably don't need her at all, dude. I mean, sure, but should you put her in danger like that? Peter's always liked her more than everyone else, but still."

Stiles blinks a little. "Really? I can do that?"

Scott nods. "Just do it yourself, dude. You'll be fine."

He gives a _nod bad_ sort of nod to himself. "Cool, but we should bring her anyway to help out." He bends back over the table. He's never killed someone he knows before. This should be fun.

**OoOoOoO**

_DEREK  
Saturday…_

The plan is simple enough. Derek, Stiles, Scott, and Lydia all show up at the old Hale mansion so that Derek can howl for Peter and Stiles and Lydia can lie through their teeth about the poison ivy having the same effect as lemon juice. Lydia lies like a goddess and Stiles can do it when he's beyond pissed off, so it should go fine. If not, all of the other wolves are hidden around in the woods to lunge at Peter and pin him down while Stiles _forces_ him to drink it.

This is it. They're going to kill him. His entire body is going to be eaten alive by burns until there's nothing left—and if there _are_ pieces left Stiles is going to put it into a jar, light it on real fire, and then dump it into the river so his ashes spread out and he _can't_ come back to life again. He also said something about Peter having brought some people back to life, but he wouldn't explain the details. Either way, they'll have to be burned too.

"I can't believe I agreed to this," Lydia mutters from where she's sitting on the front steps of the mansion. "All Peter's ever done is try to kill me and/or piss me off."

"He likes you," Derek says from where he's standing beside the steps.

She wrinkles her nose up. "I kissed his younger self and it was gross."

Stiles looks over at that, a weird glint in his eyes. "Technically you didn't kiss anybody since you were hallucinating."

"Shut up," Scott hisses. "I hear them."

Derek does too, and he lets out his werewolf features fast for a better protection. Scott does as well, but Lydia just rolls her eyes and stands up. She's the one holding the glass. There are only about a couple shots worth, but Derek knows Peter can drink that in one go any day.

Peter comes out of the woods then, flanked by two others in…clown masks. What the hell? Stiles didn't mention those. Both their scents are familiar, but Derek can't quite place them… They've got a sort of rotting flesh smell lingering around them that blocks his memories.

"I _knew_ you'd come through, kiddo," Peter says, clasping his hands together. "Just one question: what'd you need the bodyguards for? I said I wouldn't hurt you." He gives a sickly sweet smile.

Stiles rolls his eyes. "Right, because I'm supposed to believe that." He looks to Lydia. "You got this, Lyd's."

She rolls her eyes in turn, walking right up to Peter in her little flats without fear. "_You_," she mutters.

He shrugs slightly. "Me. What's in the bottle? All I wanted was a list."

Stiles holds the list up from where he's standing beside Derek. "You mean this list? We found out that poison ivy is a life giver, being that it heals anything and everything in a flash of light." Derek can hear his heartbeat, slow and steady. He's pissed—beyond pissed. "Now, we've got everyone else stuck around these woods so you don't' get out with a fight. I knew you weren't going to like that so I made you a little present. You'll make it out because of it, but your two zombies are what we want to stop now before you can get more. Lydia is the heaven's devil and volunteered to be the one to give it to you." He motions to her. "Drink it like a good omega and we'll get this over with."

Peter stares at him for a long time, a complicated look in his eyes, before turning to Lydia. "I trust Stiles, but why should I trust the _rest_ of you?"

Lydia fixes him with a glare that's somehow delicate. "Because you won't even get a peek of the list without downing this entire thing." She holds it out. "You can sniff it all you like, it's perfectly safe. Deaton showed Stiles how to liquefy and powder things, so right now you've got powdered wolfsbane dissolved in liquid poison ivy." She smirks slightly. "Enjoy."

He takes it tentatively, still glaring. "How do I know any of you haven't perfected lying?"

Stiles groans. "You too? Seriously, I can't lie to _anybody_ unless I'm scared since my heart's already so fast. I'm not scared of you, so my heart's steady. Scott told me it was _slow_ a while back, probably because I'm so fucking pissed off. It does that too." He shrugs. "Take it or leave it, but know that if you don't take it and we catch you we _will_ kill you. We'll burn you into ashes and spread them as far away from each other so that you won't come back this time, too. We've had enough of your shit."

Peter is smirking at Derek. "Told you he's scary."

While Derek rolls his eyes, Scott actually answers: "Dude, right?!" He elbows Stiles. "I told you too, dude."

Stiles levels him with a glare. "Seriously?"

The youngest alpha backs down. "Sorry."

Peter actually laughs at that. "Look at that, a human scaring an alpha. This is getting fun." He unscrews the bottle, sniffing once. "Alright, I'll drink your little concoction. Then we'll have our rally." He grins.

Stiles nods. "I look forward to it."

Peter knocks it back like he would anything else, and just like Scott described his pain, Derek's uncle is instantly dropping the bottle and clutching his chest. He tries to say a few things, but instead just chokes slightly.

Lydia is getting away from him fast and stopping beside Stiles, and the human is just…staring. Glaring. If he was a wolf his eyes would be blazing.

He turns to Scott. "Go for it."

Scott lets out a long howl, and the clearing is instantly filled with the other wolves as they charge in to attack the two in the clown masks. Both of them seem to panic and fight back, but it's useless with so many others. They leave Peter alone, everyone wanting to watch him crumble. Derek can smell the need. His uncle is on his knees now, gagging.

That's when Stiles starts to walk towards him, hands at his sides. Derek is the only wolf not attacking anyone because he can't stop watching the way Stiles is so dark about this. He stops in front of Peter, the wolf staring up at him in agony and anger.

"Oh, I'm sorry, does that hurt?" he asks, staring down with his hands on his hips. "Sorry about that, but hey…" He shrugs. "Accidents happen."

Peter crashes onto his side at that point, followed by the two in the masks being ripped in two with everyone so eager.

Stiles hums, squatting down beside him as the others rip off limbs. Zombies don't feel, after all. "This is what you get when you mess with my pack, asshole. I told you we'd kill you. It was our fault for trusting you, and now it's your fault for doing the same." He tilts his head to the side. "What's the matter, Petey?" he asks, shoving him onto his back. "Dumb kid got your tongue?" He laughs—he actually laughs—and because of it the others stop what they're doing and stare back at him. "You can do it, Petey," he says, standing back up and crossing his arms. "If you still have a throat, that is."

Obviously his throat is long gone by that time so he can't say a thing, but as all of the bleeding and burning begins to climb through to the visible surface, Peter manages one last thing: a smile. And then he's gone, dead as his entire body flakes away into dead skin cells and blood as the wolfsbane and poison ivy scratched away at his body.

Everyone is silent, staring at the way that Stiles still looks pissed. He looks towards the mansion. "You guys can come out now."

Allison and Danny come out, both of them having had to hide inside since they can't fake lying yet. Each of them are holding some jars, and Stiles takes two of them before bending down and scooping up the gross, flaky remains of Peter.

"We need to get these to a lake," he says once they're filled. There's still a little bit left, but with that Stiles pulls out a thin necklace with a tiny little jar at the end and bends down to fill it up as well.

"Really?" Jackson asks, eyebrow arched. "You're going to wear _glass_ at your chest when this is your life?"

Stiles rolls his eyes. "It's plastic, dumbass. I'm not stupid."

Derek suddenly realizes that he's feeling a little lightheaded, and his heart skips a couple of beats, and literally every last wolf turns to him with wide eyes.

"Holy shit," Erica says.

"No fucking way," Aiden says.

Cora jumps over to Derek, resting her hand on his forehead. "Are you sick?"

Derek frowns, shoving her hand away. "What the hell is your guys' problem?"

Isaac gives Cora a _look_. "He doesn't know," he says.

Derek glares, now. "Know _what_?"

"Nothing," Ethan says, patting his arm as he goes over to where Danny is.

"Obviously it's not nothing," Allison snaps. "What's going on, guys?"

Scott gives her a look as well. "I'll tell you later."

Derek is sure the conversation would have gone on, but Stiles suddenly pulls a little bottle of pure gasoline from the back pocket of his jeans and starts dumping it over the pile of zombie limbs. They're not moving anymore, probably because Peter is finally dead for good.

"Did anybody bring any matches?" he asks. "I totally forgot."

Boyd jumps on the subject change like a lifeline, handing Stiles a box. He lights one up and is about to throw it onto the male, but Derek cups his hand over the fire to put it out.

"Wait," he says. "Who are they?"

Stiles elbows him, lighting another one. "It's not important."

This time Cora puts it out. "I want to know too, dude."

He glares at all of them. "Trust me, you don't want to fucking know."

Isaac frowns. "Is it someone we know?"

"No," he snaps, lighting up another match.

"Stiles, dude, quit it," Scott says, taking the entire box. "You're not going to win this one."

He sighs, stepping back. "Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you guys."

Boyd and Aiden drop down to pull the masks off, earning gasps from everyone—everyone except for Derek. He's too stunned to do a single thing but stand there. It's Deucalion and…Jennifer. Derek watched both of them die. Peter actually kept their bodies and brought them back to life.

"I gotta go," he chokes out.

Everyone calls after him right away as he drops down to all fours and takes off at a sprint, but it's only Stiles' voice that he hears before he's too far to hear anything at all: "I'll get him."

**XxX**

Derek ends up at a playground he and his sisters used to come to a lot, and it's not long after that Stiles indeed goes after him.

"How did you find me?" he asks from his spot on the swing.

"Danny helped me hook your phone up to my own so I could track you with GPS," he says, sitting on the swing beside him. "I _told_ you that you wouldn't want to know who they were."

Derek sighs, wondering why his heartbeat is staring to speed up. It's fucking annoying. "I guess I should start trusting you more. I mean, I do trust you, but—"

"I know what you're saying," he says. "You never listen, even if it is the best idea. You should have let the others do it and then taken their word for it. Too late now, though."

Derek looks over at him, the way that he's staring up at the sky. "Thanks for trying, I guess."

Stiles turns to him as well. "Did you just thank me?"

He rolls his eyes. "I should thank you for more than that, actually. You finally got rid of the oldest problem we've ever had."

Stiles nods, pulling the plastic jar out of his shirt from where it's hanging around his neck. "I'm not sure what part of him I've got here, but knowing him, if he ever manages to come back he'll come straight after me for some real revenge just to show off or prove a point. I'll be ready for him."

Derek swallows tightly. He's never done that in his entire life. "Peter and Scott are right, Stiles. You're terrifying."

He huffs. "I really don't even care anymore. I kind of scared myself back there. Have you ever wanted someone dead so bad that you forgot you had morals?"

Derek nods. "All the time."

Stiles nods in turn. "Peter did a lot to us. He killed Laura, he killed the humans and hunters that burnt down your mansion and family, he turned Scott and got us into all this shit in the first place, he tried making Scott kill all of _us_, and after the whole kanima thing he's just been a constant pain in the ass. He was helpful for that time he as trying to get all of our trust back, but obviously that gratitude fell short." He starts kicking his legs slightly since the swings are so tall. "It felt really good to watch him fall like that, but the smile kind of creeped me out."

Derek finds himself smiling slightly. "That's Peter for you."

"Do you think he knows a way to come back?"

Derek shakes his head even though Stiles probably can't see him very well. There's no streetlights around. "I doubt it. He probably just wanted us to know that he's still evil and doesn't regret any of his shit."

"I'd love to believe that, but you're kind of bad at this stuff, so I'm just going to keep being worried."

Derek purses his lips. "That's fair."

They sit there in silence for a long time after that, Derek's heart stuttering and other weird shit. But it's just a comfortable silence, and when it's not it's a comfortable conversation about the Deucalion and Jennifer thing—actually _comfortable_. Derek doesn't know if it's because he's suddenly got a newfound respect for Stiles and his being terrifying or what, but he's not complaining. Peter is gone and so are his other two problems.

Again.

What a night.

* * *

Concoctions: There were 4 of them this chapter!  
**1.** Apples: Laughing at every touch  
**2.** Carrots: Pain at every touch  
**3.** Monkshood: Extreme nervousness (to the point where they can't sit still and keep knocking things over)  
**4.** Poison ivy: The ultimate itching powder (it becomes so intense that your own body actually starts to itch itself and you start bleeding in places where it's come in contact with and scabs over and shit and because of the wolfsbane it doesn't heal very fast)


	6. Instinct

[Chapter summary: In which Derek's wolf takes over and Stiles turns down a girl.]

**6: Instinct**

_"The very essence of instinct  
is that it's followed  
independently of reason."  
_—Charles Darwin—

_STILES  
__6 Days Later  
__Friday…_

Not much happens in the next week. The wolves and their humans spend all their time together as usual, but now even Jackson is around a hell of a lot more often. Apparently everyone watching Stiles like that gave him more respect. Also something about what happened to Derek that night, and Stiles thought they meant about seeing Deucalion and Jennifer, but apparently it was just before he pulled the gasoline out of his pocket. He didn't notice anything.

Scott, Isaac, and Ethan are the only wolves okay with more experiments, so the whole thing is mostly over except for the occasional thing. After the poison ivy they get anything rubbed on their skin first, and if nothing bad happens they go for the oral ingestion. Deaton said Stiles could stop altogether if he wanted, but some of the effects are way too much fun to just _quit_.

In the six days they only get one thing for each wolf: Scott gets Larkspur, Isaac gets a rose, Ethan gets an iris. Larkspur was a not fun one because it gave Scott a severe depression to the point where he couldn't stop talking about how much is life "sucked" and he sighed a lot, so that was a pretty lame two hours. Roses and irises are apparently opposites, with roses making the wolves suddenly love Isaac and really want to be around him all the time and just touch his hair and stuff, and the iris was where Ethan loved everyone and wanted to be around everyone and touch _their_ hair and flirt a lot and all that. At least Danny thought it was super cute.

Currently everyone is at Derek's, and since Stiles is a dick and Lydia us always at least forty-percent evil they're making drinks with powdered foxglove for all of the wolves. It's actually just water, but they're putting in red food dye so it looks better tasting than that.

"Nobody is going to trust us after this," Lydia whispers. They can hear everyone screaming about the game of Mario Kart going on in the living room. Derek swears a lot, Cora roars in peoples faces, and Aiden literally tackles people who hit him with things.

"They don't really trust us anyway," Stiles whispers back with a shrug. "I'm surprised they're letting us in here together at all."

"They must just assume we won't try anything now that they all know."

He grins. "Idiots."

Nobody even questions the drinks as they're brought out, too focused on the four Wii players that are the twins, Erica, and Boyd.

"This tastes lame," Scott says, glaring at it.

"Tastes good to me," Isaac says, already having downed all of it.

It hits all of them a couple of seconds later, in one of two ways: cuddles or murders. The four on the Wii stop playing to instantly attack each other, rolling off of the couch in their beta forms. Everyone else just looks at them weird before turning to someone else, pressing up against them and saying things about being cold and lonely and "I looove youuu's". Lydia gets pulled over by Jackson for a big hug, and Stiles laughs before moving ot go sit by Derek and Danny on the other couch.

"How you feelin', big guy?" Stiles says to Derek, elbowing him slightly.

The wolf right away leans over to Stiles, just flopping across his lap. "Tiiiired..." he whines.

Stiles grins over at Danny. "Foxglove," he whispers.

His fellow human chuckles. "You two are going to get them killed one day."

Stiles shrugs, resting both hands over Derek's back and rubbing. "Accidents happen."

The wolf gives a little groan. "Don't stop that."

Stiles figures he might as well since the dude's always so damn uptight. He spends most of his time at his shoulders since they're the worst, but every now and again Derek mutters for other spots.

"Did he figure it out yet?" Danny asks at length.

Stiles frowns. "Figure what out?" he asks.

Danny winces. "Oh, nothing."

"Dude, come on."

"No way, Ethan would kill me. Just tell us when he does—and when he does you'll know what I'm talking about." He gives a guilty grin. "Sorry."

Stiles huffs. "Whatever."

Derek suddenly rolls onto his stomach, looking at Stiles hopefully. Stiles rolls his eyes and starts rubbing his stomach, ignoring Danny's giggles.

Derek drops his head back and Stiles swears to god his tongue drops out for a split second, but he lifts his head back up almost right away and spits out, "I'm the alpha you know."

Stiles smiles, rubbing his tummy some more. "I know."

The murderous wolf pile ceases about then, and while Boyd and Erica instantly roll into a pile of cute little kisses and things and Ethan crawls right into Danny's lap, Aiden looks around all lonely-like. Stiles sighs and motions him over, and honestly it's kind of hilarious to see him perk up and bound over onto Stiles' other side, almost on top of Derek's face but not quite.

"What would you call this, then?" Lydia asks from where Jackson is peppering her with little kisses.

Stiles hums as he's scratching Derek's stomach (which is totally weird) and around Aiden's ears and neck (which is only a little less weird). "Instinct takeover?"

"Only two instincts, though," she says, running her fingers through Jackson's hair. Usually he'd freak out about it getting messed up, but now he leans into it.

"That's the basics though, right? There's cuddly and fighting, which is happy and sad. Literally the basic of all basics. You can classify everything into one or the other."

"What about love?"

Stiles shrugs. "That's more than an emotion, I think. It's like an entire different soul inside of the soul you do have. Maybe we don't have a soul until we are in love? I don't know, but it's weird and I'm not counting it."

She smiles. "He's staring at you again."

Stiles frowns before looking down at Derek, who's watching his face with his bright red eyes and usual emotionless look. There's nothing new about it, it just won't _stop_.

Stiles shrugs, continuing to scratch both him and Aiden. "He's running on instincts and I'm scratching him, so I'm pretty much the most important thing in the world right now. The same thing happened when I was taking care of him while he was sick."

"Oh right, I heard about that. Sleepy snuggles."

Stiles nods. "Yeah, that's..." He trails off, realizing the hand on Derek is suddenly petting something...softer. Lydia gasps too, so something has got to be weird.

And when Stiles looks down it totally is, because there in Stiles' lap isn't a human body, but a gigantic black _wolf_ still dressed in Derek's clothes.

"Holy shit!" he says, throwing both his arms into the air.

Everyone else looks over as well, but only the humans gasp, while the other wolves all laugh and scramble over to get closer, sniffing and nuzzling and Stiles is under all of it and it's super weird.

"Off, off," he says, pushing at them until he can get off of the couch. He hops right over to where Lydia, Allison, and Danny have all congregated, eyes wide.

"What the _hell_ just happened?" he asks as the wolves get Derek out of his human clothes since he's currently...not human.

"That's a little more than an instinct takeover, dude," Danny says.

Stiles snorts. "A _little_? The only werewolf anyone knows that's ever been able to turn into a _full_ wolf was the Hale mother."

"It's probably just whatever you put into those drinks," Allison says.

"Foxglove," Lydia says. "The instincts took over his entire body. Normally he'd probably just have gone into his beta form, but because of the wolfsbane effect his body just didn't stop."

Allison purses her lips. "So…he's a wolf now. These things only last about two hours, right?"

Stiles nods, but he starts moving towards the kitchen anyway. "I'm going to get a lemon. He's going to bite my head off when the hours are over."

"Stiles, wait," Lydia says. "Lemon's heal, right? There's nothing here to heal."

Stiles stops, realizing that she's right. Werewolves are in their natural ancestral state as a wolf. This is literally how they're all _supposed_ to be. Damn. He heads back away from the kitchen, stand by where the other three are sitting. "We just wait, then?"

"Yup," Danny says. "Just keep scratching him in places and he'll be fine."

So that happens. They turn on Homeward Bound and everyone goes back to cuddling and random howling and licking faces, but at least no more fights break out. Derek stays with Stiles the entire time, but Aiden just starts scooting around to everyone. They really need to get him with someone already. Nobody else wolfs-out at least... Just Derek, which is weird. Apparently Stiles has some mad-ass scratching skills.

When the two hours is up, all of the wolves look around in a sort of tired daze, but Derek gives Stiles one look before pouncing on him and snarling in his face.

He didn't change back.

"Derek, no!" the other three alphas all yell at once as they scramble over to them.

"No, it's fine!" Stiles says, holding his hands up beside Derek's head. Then, to Derek: "I didn't mean to, I'm sorry. You can rip my throat out somewhere outside, but at least don't get my blood all over the couch."

Derek growls some more, but he does eventually stop, and when he does he all but collapses onto Stiles' chest, curling his paws underneath him and resting his head on Stiles' chest. He lets out a little whine as well, flicking his tongue out at Stiles' nose.

"I know, I'm sorry," he says, using both hands to scratch behind his ears. "I never know what this shit is going to do."

"Speaking of which," Jackson says, sitting on the floor by that couch, "what _did_ we drink?"

"Water with red food dye and foxglove," he says, petting down Derek's back. "Nothing dangerous."

"Neither are limes," Boyd mutters.

Stiles rolls his eyes, moving to scratch under Derek's chin. "You going to take care of him, Cora?"

"Hell no, he's your problem," she says.

Derek turns to growl at her.

"Oh shush," Stiles says, pulling him back. "I'll do a better job anyway. She'd feed you dog food and not let you out to pee, but I'm already whipped 'cause I know you'll kill me if I don't do whatever you want."

Stiles would swear to god that he's smirking before he leans to lick Stiles' cheek.

"Thought so," Stiles says, patting his head. "It'll be fun!"

Derek growls."

Stiles sighs. "Yeah, you're right. This is going to suck.

**OoOoOoO**

_DEREK  
Saturday..._

Derek is going to _decimate_ Stiles as soon as he gets out of this mess. Stiles called Deaton yesterday and the doctor said they'll just have to wait it out (and also something about "isn't this exactly what you wanted?" that made no sense), so now it's Saturday morning and Derek is crawling back into the window after peeing in the bushes like the wolf he currently is. He still has all of his werewolf strength, so jumping up and down from roofs is easy. Stiles closes the window after him before collapsing onto his bed, rolling under the covers to get back to sleep.

Derek lets his tongue loll out since nobody is looking, padding over to the bed of blankets and towels Stiles made him. It's comfortable, but not for his wolf. His instincts are screaming at him for contact, but he's certainly not about to go back to sleep next to Stiles. If he happens to turn back into his human form he's going to be naked, and if the sheriff walks in that's going to be extremely awkward. He's not even supposed to know Derek is here or he'll ask lots of questions. He knows about things, sure, but this is confusing.

Derek is lying down for about five minutes before he doesn't care anymore. He pads over to the side of the bed and rests his head on the edge, staring at Stiles' face. He's not asleep, but his eyes are closed, so he doesn't notice. Derek gives an internal sigh before letting out a little whine.

Stiles' brown eyes open tiredly. "You do not seriously have to pee again," he mutters.

Derek whines again, setting both paws up beside his head and nosing forward slightly.

Stiles gets it, scooting towards the other edge and patting the open space without question. Derek gets situated quickly, shamefully snuggled very close to the human but not enough to get back on the floor.

"Now shut up and sleep," the teen mutters.

Derek does.

**XxX**

They finally wake up for good at about noon, Derek's muzzle tucked under Stiles' neck and a human hand over his furry back. Still a wolf, then. Great.

"You sure are soft," Stiles says in a voice that makes Derek's entire body want to purr even though he is _not_ a cat. "I'm gonna shower. You can come in with me I guess; might as well give you a bath."

Derek wrinkles his muzzle up. Why on earth would they do that?

"Don't give me that look," he says. "I wouldn't ask if you were still a dude and you wouldn't be here anyway. You're a wolf so it's not as awkward. Beside, it's not like we haven't seen each other naked before."

Stiles has good points, but still. Although...getting his entire body scratched and soaped up and... Dammit. He nods his animal head and hops off the bed, padding towards the door. Stiles gathers up a few things first, and then they're off to the bathroom. Stiles heats up the water before stripping, and it's definitely weird, but Derek just looks at the ground a lot.

"You'd be the weirdest dog," Stiles says, pushing the curtain aside. "I'm just seven and a half inches of pure dude, little sourwolf. It's not like you haven't seen a dick before."

Derek barks as he gets in after him. It's still weird!

Stiles shushes him. "My dad's still here, idiot."

Derek sits awkwardly at the end of the tub while Stiles washes himself, looking anywhere but his waist. His legs are no secret since he wears shorts a lot, and his shirt is off a lot too since he and Scott play a lot of sting pong. It annoys him that he can be so toned without actually doing too much. Lacrosse, cross country, and lots of running from monsters, but nothing like Derek's workouts. Teenagers are so lucky.

"Alright, Fido. Your turn."

Derek growls.

Stiles smiles. "More of a Spike, I take it. Killer, maybe?"

Derek rolls his eyes. Stiles is so annoying. The teen pushes Derek under the spray to wet him down before getting a handful of shampoo, shrugging once before squatting down and starting to lather Derek down. It's actually kind of embarrassing how good it feels.

"Geez, dude, you use a lot of shampoo," Stiles mutters.

Derek doesn't care. He just closes his eyes and _does not care_. He actually lets out a whine when Stiles stops to let it all rinse out, telling Derek to hold his legs out and roll over and things.

"Alright, all done," he says, hopping out. "Don't move." He grabs a towel for himself first, drying everything off before wrapping it around his waist and grabbing up another towel for Derek. He kneels on the bathroom floor and starts rubbing him down, and Derek doesn't even realize that he's panting with his tongue hanging out before Stiles laughs and points it out.

"You sure are cute when you're not trying to murder me," he says, standing. "Come on, I gotta get dressed."

Stiles makes Derek stay on his blanket/towel bed while he's still damp, all the way from getting dressed to going to get breakfast for them. He lets Derek eat off his plate there, him eating at his desk while he dinks around on his laptop.

"Wanna go for a walk?" he asks.

Derek gives him a dull look.

"No, I'm serious! I feel like putting shorts on and running somewhere. It's not like you're going to need a leash. We can head over to Deaton's and let him take a look at you or something."

Derek eventually gives a little nod, and Stiles quick changes before letting Derek out through the window so he can say bye to his dad.

They run for about two miles before Stiles huffs for a break, leaning against a tree.

"I just realized," he puffs, "that you turned into a wolf"—breath—"because you were so into"—breath—"my awesome tummy rubbing abilities."

Derek ducks his head slightly, realizing that he's right.

"Aw, you're embarrassed," he says, petting the top of Derek's head. Derek hates that he likes it. Being a full wolf sucks. "Come on,"—(breath)—"come sit by me."

Derek gives an internal huff and does so, curling up underneath his bent knees.

"For someone who runs from and after so many monsters," he says, "I sure am out of shape."

Derek lets out a little snort (that honestly sounds more like a sneeze), remembering Stiles' body in the shower.

"I know _you're_ not," he says, running his fingers through Derek's fur. "You've got the chest of a god, dude. Seriously, stop working out."

Derek's ears perk up at that, plus his heartbeat. He's always gotten jibes about how great his body is, why is this any different? Damn his weird full-wolf feelings. Well...feelings in general, really. It's been happening since Peter's death and he has no idea how to fix it. He can't decide if he _wants_ to fix it, though. Somehow, as annoying as it is, it's...nice.

"Alright, let's go," he says, pushing himself upwards. "I think Scott's working today, too."

It doesn't take long to get their after that, Stiles grunting slightly as he pushes the door open.

"In here, Stiles!" Deaton calls.

Stiles rolls his eyes, and Derek can't help but feel as if he's missing out on an inside joke. They walk back to him to see Scott and Isaac there too, and while Scott just grins at Stiles, Isaac instantly drops to sit on the ground in front of Derek.

"I wanna try something," he says. "Say something and see if I understand it."

Derek rolls his eyes, but it would be helpful, so he barks a few times with _you should help me kill Stiles for this_ running through his head.

Isaac huffs. "Nope," he says, standing. "All I can tell is that he's annoyed."

"It was probably about me then," Stiles says, going to open a cupboard above the sink.

Derek nods.

Scott laughs. "He totally was, dude!"

Stiles grins down at him. "I'll make a steak for lunch today."

Derek doesn't even realize that he's bounded over to rub against his legs at that until the others are chuckling at him. He steps back and growls slightly, and while Isaac instantly quiets, Stiles and Scott just stick their tongues out and fist bump each other.

"We're not gonna hold it against you, dude," Scott says as he's gathering things up. "We know how hard it is in our beta forms, so as a wolf it's probably impossible."

Isaac gives a fervent nod. "You can just let loose if you want. We wouldn't mind."

Derek whines slightly, dropping to lie down.

"Let me take a look at you, then," Derek says, squatting down beside him. He inspects a few things, teeth and claws and things. The basics. "You seem like any regular wolf, Derek. I knew your mother, though, and she was the exact same." He gives a small shrug as he stands. "I still think you're just going to need to wait it out."

Derek gives an internal huff. Some help that exercise was.

"I'll sit with you," Isaac says, dropping down beside him.

"Stiles, hey," Scott says. "Could you go feed the cats for me real quick?"

"Yeah, sure." Stiles gathers up stuff and heads out.

Scott looks over at Derek. "He hasn't figured it out yet."

Derek gives an internal frown. What?

"I've noticed," Deaton says. "It's hard to when there are no real signals, though."

"Should we just tell him?" Isaac asks, combing his fingers through Derek's fur.

"I don't think so," Deaton says. "We should let both of them figure it out on their own."

Derek growls, hoping they'll tell him what's going on.

Scott laughs. "Sorry, dude, we're not telling you anything."

He flashes red eyes at Isaac, but even his beta just snickers.

Deaton gives him one of those creepy smiles that doesn't reach his eyes. "Don't worry, you'll fine out soon enough."

Derek hates his friends.

They're not there long, and Stiles runs a little further before a break is in order.

"I wonder how long this is going to last," he says. "I mean, you're cute an' all, but getting off my ass to let you pee out my window is annoying."

Derek rolls his eyes. How does Stiles think he feels?

"It's probably worse for you, though," he says, resting an arm over Derek's back.

Derek thumps his tail as a nod.

He sighs, long and hard. "Sorry about all this, by the way. But hey, on the bright side, I didn't kill you."

Derek pushes closer to him, annoyed how fervently his tail is wagging. Being a wolf isn't _so_ bad, he supposes...

A girl Stiles' age suddenly walks by, a little chihuahua yapping at Derek from her feet. "Oh, what a big doggy!" she says brightly. "What breed is she?"

"_He_," Stiles stresses, "is a husky mixed with...something big and black."

Derek looks up at Stiles with an internal frown. His heartbeat is fluttering weird. Is he...nervous?

The girl smiles. "What's his name?"

Stiles grins. "Miguel."

Derek barks at him, making sure his eyes don't glare red. He does _not_ have fond memories of that name.

Stiles ignores him. "What about yours?"

"This is Venus!" she says brightly. "She's a purebred chihuahua."

Stiles nods. "Cool, cool. You look familiar; do you go to the high school?"

"I graduated last year," she says. "Are you a senior?"

He nods. "You at college anywhere?"

"Nah, savin' up still."

He snorts. "Yeah, I know how you feel. I haven't decided where I want to apply or anything yet. Not even sure what I want to do."

Derek is getting annoyed for some reason. The girl isn't doing anything wrong, he just... Dammit.

She sighs. "Tell me about it. Right now I'm thinking about archeology and botany." She gives a one-shouldered shrug.

Stiles laughs, staring to stand. "That's quite the struggle. Anyway, I should get goin' to feed this guy."

She nods, squatting down in front of where Derek's gotten to the sidewalk. "I bet he eats a _ton_. Where'd you get him, anyway?"

It does not escape Derek's attention that she's dragging out the stay, but he doesn't growl at her as she goes to pet him. She smells alright enough.

"Uh, friend of mine and I sort of...share him."

She arches an eyebrow. "Do you live together?"

"No, that's why it's a sort of. We trade off every now and again. Sometimes he's out of town so I'll get him, sometimes I have a ton of homework so he'll get him."

She nods. "Who with? Maybe I know him."

Stiles snorts. "I really doubt you do. Derek Hale?"

She frowns, standing. "You mean that creep that was accused of murder twice?"

Derek gives a little growl at that, and even Stiles stiffens slightly. "The charges were dropped," he says, "and he's only creepy from a distance."

She snorts. "Doesn't really sound like someone I'd want to be friends with."

Stiles stiffens further, but he manages to start heading down the sidewalk. "It's a good thing you're not, then. Bye."

She looks taken aback at that, but Stiles just turns away and starts jogging again. The chihuahua is still fucking barking, so Derek gives a good snarl of his own to shut it up before going off after Stiles, loving the way the girl looks so appalled.

"And to think I thought she was cute," he says when Derek gets to him.

Derek snorts, thumping his tail against his leg.

"Good thing I don't know her name," he continues, "or I'd probably look her up on Facebook and glare a lot."

Derek thumps again. He finds it odd that Stiles isn't even mentioning the fact that he basically turned down the possibility of an older girls number just because she made a jibe about Derek, a person Stiles doesn't even like most of the time. No "you better love me for sticking up for you" or "you totally owe me" or anything.

Stiles stops in front of his place after a while, motioning for Derek to go find his window while he goes inside. The sheriff doesn't talk long, so Stiles lets Derek in quick before stripping down to boxers and dropping onto his bed.

"I should shower again," he mutters, "but I don't wanna."

Derek jumps up beside him, curling up at his side.

"What, take a nap?" he asks. "It's barely noon."

Derek growls. He's fucking hungry!

"Oh, right! I promised you a steak, didn't I?"

Derek licks his face.

"Well, you're gonna have to wait up here while I make it. My dad doesn't work today."

Derek whines slightly. He doesn't want to be alone for how long it takes to cook a steak.

"I know, I know, get over it." He gets up and goes to get dressed before patting Derek on the head and disappearing.

Derek sighs, shoving himself under the covers and bunkering down. He might as well take a nap.

* * *

References: "I'm the alpha you know."  
"I know."  
I totally stole this from a fanart I found. It's basically just Derek getting his tummy rubbed by Stiles, just like this was.

Concoctions: There are 4 in this chapter!  
**1.** Foxglove: Sever depression  
**2.** Rose: Everyone suddenly loves them and just wants to be around them a lot and touch them  
**3.** Iris: Loves everyone and just wants to be around everyone and touch everyone and flirt a lot  
**4.** Foxglove: Instinctual takeover


	7. Meals and Moments and Moanings, Oh My!

[Chapter summary: In which there are dark elves and Stiles and Derek finally figure out the heart thing.]

**7: Meals and Moments and Moaning, Oh My!**

_"A little danger's never stopped me before_  
_Seduced by hypnotic eyes and a kiss to die for_  
_Everything you do causes me pain_  
_Torture me with a smile, burning me with your flame…_

_I taste blood every time that we kiss_  
_Get lost in your gaze when you're lickin' your lips_  
_I'm lyin' here, I'm holdin' my breath_  
_Can't wait for you to love me to death."_

—I'm in Love (With a Killer) by Jeffree Star—

_STILES  
Saturday…_

Stiles whistles to himself as he treks up the stairs, a whole plateful of about two meals worth. His dad made fun of him for making so much steak, but he doesn't know about Derek, so Stiles just shrugged it off. He made some broccoli too, but he's not sure if full-wolf Derek will want any. More for him if not!

"Hope you like medium," he says, pushing his door open. "I forgot to ask ab—" He cuts off, eyes going wide. Derek is cuddle up on his bed, underneath the covers, except he's no longer covered in thick black fur. He's human again. He's got his entire back exposed and one leg sticking out, and his arms are reached up to wrap tightly around Stiles' pillow.

"Uh," he says, setting the plate down. "You're naked. Right. Payback, I guess." He goes over to the other side, leaning against the edge of the bed and poking Derek until he starts to stir.

"Five more minutes," he mumbles, mashing his face into the pillow."

"You wish, sourwolf."

Derek's eyes open fast, and he pushes up on his arms to give Stiles a surprised look. "I'm not a wolf anymore," he says, looking down at himself.

"Nope," Stiles says. "I doubt I have any clothes you'll really fit in, either. Let me check." He turns away and goes digging, going straight for sweats and a t-shirt.

"Thanks," Derek says, pulling the t-shirt on first. He looks...slightly flustered.

"Dude," Stiles laughs, "are you blushing?"

Derek glares at him. "Excuse me for not being as comfortable as you are with the male anatomy."

"Really? All those nights waking up in the middle of the woods didn't do it for yuh?"

"Funnily enough I've only ever had two of those incidents, and both times my dad was already there with a pair of pants."

Stiles frowns. "I guess that's the difference between you and Scott... A born wolf and a changed one."

Derek nods, pulling the sweats on under the covers. Then, eyeing the steak. "Do I still get some of that?" he asks tentatively.

"Yeah," Stiles says, going to grab it. "I made way too much for just me anyway."

The just eat on his bed, crowding over the plate. He eventually texts the others about Derek, though he's not sure what made it happen. Derek isn't either; he didn't even dream.

Scott calls back almost right away.

"We don't know how it happened, dude," Stiles says in greeting. "He jus—"

"Stiles, shut up!" Scott yells. "We have bigger problems!"

Stiles frowns, quick putting him on speaker phone. "What do you mean?"

"The dark elves are back!" Isaac yells in the background.

"Get everyone back here _now_!" Scott snarls. "There's five of them and only two of us wolves!"

Stiles and Derek waste no time, clambering out of the window to get to Stiles' Jeep. Derek howls out of the car window without a second thought, and Stiles parks out on the street before they both lunge out. Derek heads straight inside to where Stiles can already see magic being cast and hear roars splitting the air. He quick grabs the gun Chris gave him that he keeps in his trunk and straps his biggest throwing knife to his belt loops, counting wolves off as they all show up.

"We need to get them to the woods!" Stiles yells to Lydia, Allison, and Danny when they're all there. "They'll destroy the entire building!"

"We can't just lure them through the city," Danny says. "That'd be chaos!'

"We're going to have to use the tunnel," Lydia says.

Stiles purses his lips. The tunnel is bad. All of the wolves are inside of the building, plus the five elves and Deaton. Dark elves thrive off of darkness (obviously), so they want the entire city for themselves.

"We'll make the wolves go down first," Lydia says. "The elves don't see us as enough of a threat to go for us, so they'll go down after the wolves and all the way to the woods. We know it's dangerous, so we'll take the Jeep after sealing everything up."

The other three nod, pulling out their weapon of choice: Stiles and Lydia with their guns (plus Stiles' knife; he's gotten pretty damn good at throwing it), Danny with his double-bladed ax, and Allison with her arrows.

It's hectic as they throw themselves inside, staying low so the elves leave them alone. They don't see like most things do, but in "danger heat" as Stiles calls it, where everything is in shades of blue, green and purple until it becomes a threat, wherein it turns shades of red, orange, and yellow. Kind of like the Borg except they all have their own minds and stuff.

"This way," Allison whispers.

The four humans (Lydia being a banshee or not, they still call her human since there are more werewolves) end up in the pet holding room Deaton has for animals besides cats and dogs. There's a single parrot going fucking crazy, so Stiles quick throws the blanket over it to try and shut it up.

"Uh," Lydia says, pointing. "Someone's been here."

Stiles quick goes to see where Lydia's pointing, showing off that the tunnel entrance is in fact already opened.

Before anything more can be said, though, Deaton sticks his head out with that creepy smile of his. "Ah, there you are," he says. "I knew one of you would think of this idea. I've set everything up so that it won't collapse anywhere this time if you move quickly—_very_ quickly."

Stiles and Allison share an eye roll. The tunnel isn't exactly safe, obviously, but Deaton is always right when he's sure about something. Last time it nearly crushed Aiden, but Deaton had said it would, so hey.

"How are we going to get the wolves attention?" Danny asks.

Deaton hoists himself out of the tunnel before looking to Stiles. "Tell Derek the plan."

They all frown. "What?"

"Derek will be able to hear you," he explains to Stiles. "Just start talking to him."

Stiles frowns deeper. "Why would he be able to hear me when he's in a a loud ass room trying to kill things and not be killed in the processes?" Stiles remembers first meetting the elves and Scott just wanted to _talk_ to them, but that backfired like crazy and gave Boyd and Ethan a couple broken limbs.

Deaton nods. "He'll hear you."

Stiles groans. "He so won't."

Allison huffs at him. "Deaton, I know what you're trying to do, but wouldn't it just be better if Lydia got Jackson's attention or something?"

Now _that_ confuses Stiles even further.

Deaton shakes his head. "Theirs is stronger because it's newer."

Danny huffs. "Stiles, seriously, just do it."

Stiles glares at all of them before turning towards the door to where everything is happening. "Derek, I know you can hear me, so...listen close." He looks at Deaton, who nods, so he continues: "Deaton and the rest of us have a plan to get you guys out of such a small place. We know the tunnel is dangerous, but just fucking do it, okay? Get all of the wolves to run through as fast as they can so that the elves follow you. Obviously they're only here because we pissed them off last time, so we know they _will_ follow. The woods will keep any of the fight from breaking into the city and hurting anone. Deaton will stay here and clean up everything and then us humans are gonna take my Jeep to the woods to help you out. And...I guess that's it. Um. Bark or something louder than everything else if you got all that."

A howl-snarl thingy comes a few seconds later.

Stiles turns back to Deaton. "Are any of you going to tell me why that worked?"

"Remember that thing Ethan would kill me for telling you?" Danny asks.

Stiles nods.

"It's that same thing."

Stiles rolls his eyes. He hates his friends.

The five humans pile out of the room quickly, and they only have to wait for about another minute before all of the wolves bolt into that other room, diving headfirst into the tunnel entrance. The elves rattle off something in elvish before sprinting in after them, and because Stiles is awesome he had his phone recorder on so he can quick insert it into his mythical creature translator (because those are totally a thing).

"What'd they say?" Allison asks as the four teens all run outside to get to the Jeep.

Stiles plays it back for all of them after they're on their way: "_We cannot let them get away! We will have our revenge!_"

"Testy fellows," Danny says from the back.

"They're the ones that attacked us in the first place," Stiles snaps. "This is stupid."

"Mythical creatures are idiots," Lydia says, flitting a wrist.

"Which is why we're all in love with one of them," Allison mutters from beside Danny.

"'Cept me," Stiles says, fishing his phone out of his pocket. "Lydia, can you send a quick text to my dad? Tell him we got hung up on magic monsters and that I might be home late."

Lydia gives him a weird look before doing so, fingers flying easily over the touch screen.

"He'll figure it out soon enough," Danny says.

"I don't think he does yet, actually," Lydia says. "Just the other one."

"Really?" Danny asks. "He's not just oblivious too?"

"She's right," Allison says. "The wolves would have noticed."

Danny snorts. "And here I thought it was perfect."

Stiles glares around at everyone. "You guys have been making snide comments about whatever shit for the last week. Are you going to tell me or what?"

Allison and Danny both say "no", but Lydia says "sure".

The two actual humans look appalled. "Really?" Allison asks. "Are you sure?"

Lydia shrugs. "It was my rule to keep it from him, so I can break it to my liking." She turns to Stiles. "It's about you and Derek. Are you sure you want to know still?"

Stiles snorts. "Now I definitely want to know."

"Alright, but it's your own panic attack. Derek is in love with you."

Stiles gags on his own spit a little. "Excuse me?" he chokes out.

"She's right," Danny says. "He just doesn't know it yet."

Stiles snorts. "He doesn't know it yet? That probably means he _doesn't_ and that you guys just _think_ he does. You're going to give me an attack, sheesh."

"We're serious, Stiles," Allison says. "The other wolves can smell it on him. He's in love with you and he legitimately cannot tell. He just gets weird sensations with, to him, unknown origins."

"That's what I haven't been telling you," Danny says. "Derek could hear you the easiest because his love for you is newest out of the rest of us. I mean, obviously he didn't do it on purpose since you 'hate each other', but like…accidents happen, you know?"

Stiles thanks god that they're to the woods by then, because now he can screech his Jeep to a halt on the side of the road and literally tumble out of it. "Oh my god," he says, bending down to rest his hands on his knees. Derek is in love with him. Derek is in love with him? And he doesn't know it? That must have been why he changed back from his wolf form... Because he, of all people, felt safe enough to fall asleep somewhere besides his own bed. "No fucking way."

Lydia is suddenly there, pinching his nose and his lips together. Stiles panics slightly more at first, but somehow that works before anything gets too bad, and he quick pulls away from her to glare a bit.

"No fucking way," he says again. "The guy has trust issues a mile high, there's no way he'd choose me after Jennifer."

"That's probably _why_ he chose you," Danny says. "He's gotten to know you well enough to know you're not a homicidal manic."

Stiles ignores him and turns to glare at Lydia. "Why did you tell me? Why didn't you just let me figure it out on my own like you planned to in the first place?"

She gives a dainty shrug. "Now you'll go in there with flying colors to keep him alive so you can talk to him about it."

Stiles glares deeper. "Fuck you," he spits, turning away. "I'm going to do _exactly_ that and I'm going to hate you while doing it."

The others jog after him, weapons at the ready.

Stiles doesn't know why he's so angry about this. He just... There's no way. Derek _can't_ love him. That's just fucking weird. He's a big straight guy with crazy great looks all around who could get to know any hot girl in the entire _world_ as well as he knows Stiles and fall for her instead. That doesn't even make _sense_.

And Stiles sure as hell doesn't like the guy back, either. That'd make even less sense. Hot or not, he's annoying. He's got a complex higher than Jackson's if you get him going and he's mean to literally everyone. Stiles isn't in love with Derek, he's—

He stops, seeing the magic flying around the forest where the five dark elves are fighting the nine werewolves. Derek has one elf all to himself, claws ripping through skin that simply heals right back over. He's got those blazing red eyes and those long ass fangs, and suddenly Stiles starts to remember other things about the wolf... The way his eyes crinkle up when someone actually gets him to laugh and the great music taste he has and even how he smells in his leather jacket. The way he just glares a little when someone makes fun of him and that dull look he gives when Jackson says something conceited and the way he looks at his sister when she's annoying him (because it's an all new look that he's been able to perfect for the last eighteen years). The way he stares up at the stars after defeating another set of monsters and how he manages to protect everyone around him in a fight and... And the way he actually listens to Stiles' ideas and tells him that he did a good job when they work—and that's been for the last year, not just recently. Even when not in love, Derek respected Stiles.

Stiles swallows tightly.

He's in love with Derek.

And somehow, for some reason, that only makes him angrier.

**OoOoOoO**

_DEREK__  
Saturday…_

Stiles throws his blade with perfection, landing it straight in the dark elfs forehead so that it can't heal. And that's it, they're all dead. Derek doesn't care though. All he sees is Stiles, tearing his ripped up t-shirt off the rest of the way and walking over to pull his blade out and wipe the black blood across his slightly torn jeans without a second thought.

And this time, when Derek's heart skips a beat and he feels slightly woozy, he knows what it is.

He's in love.

Derek is in love.

With Stiles.

_Derek is in love with Stiles_.

His four betas are at him in under a second, crowding around and making sure that he's alright. "He's got to recognize it by now," Erica says, tugging at his fingers so his claws go away.

Derek swallows tightly. This is what everyone has been talking about. For over a week Derek has been in love and he hasn't even known it.

"Oh yeah," Cora says. "He knows."

Stiles looks over at them at that point, shoving his hand up through his hair and giving it back the wave he usually styles it in after it sweated down from the fight. He's got dirt and blood all over his face and a burn mark across the left side of his neck. His chest and stomach are the tiniest bit sunburnt where his shirt was torn from the earlier blast cast from the strongest of the elves. He's got a tear at his knee and the laces of one shoe are untied and Derek doesn't even know why he's suddenly so turned on but every wolf is staring at him and he's pretty sure he's about to have a panic attack.

"Stop fucking staring at me like I'm some sort of alien," Stiles spits at him (_directly_ at him), sticking his knife into its case at his belt. "It's not like I'm the only one who killed something."

Derek quick looks away, accidentally making eye contact with Lydia. She always knows everything, so the tiny nod she gives mean only one thing: Derek is so fucked.

"We need to burn these things," Scott says, producing matches. "None got away this time, so we shouldn't ever see them again."

"What happens if we do?" Danny asks as Ethan is rubbing his face in the crook of his neck, making sure he's okay.

Scott shrugs. "We fight them again." He tosses Stiles the box without a word, and the human doesn't even look up as he reaches out to grab it. He glares down at the elf as he tosses one down, then making his way to the other four. They were harder to get rid of this time around.

"Can we go home now?" Jackson asks, sliding up behind Lydia and kissing the top of her head. For someone so rude, he really does love her.

"Yeah," Scott says. "Lets get out of here. I'm sick of woods."

Derek stares at Stiles for a moment longer, but when the teen looks over at him he quickly looks away and heads off after his four betas.

"I don't fucking think so," Stiles says, appearing by his side and latching onto a wrist. "We need to _talk_."

Derek's heart may or may not skip _two_ beats. "What for?" he asks calmly. "What did I do?"

Stiles lets go of his wrist and points menacingly. "_That's_ what you did. You didn't get defensive. You're riding shotgun, mister. Your betas can get home some other way." He leaves him behind at that, hands shoved deep into his pockets.

Danny gets to him next. "Sup, Miguel?"

Derek flashes him a red-eyed glare. "_So_ not the time."

He chuckles. "I know, I just wanted to let you know that he's angry at you."

"No shit."

"Shut up and listen, would you?" He elbows him fondly. "God, you're a wonder. I think he's angry because he loves you back."

Derek blinks a lot. "What?"

"He was angry at Lydia at first for the distraction, but on the way into the woods he just stopped and _stared_ at you for like an entire minute before snarling under his breath. It's like that scrawny kid hating himself for falling for the jock that beats him up every day or something."

Derek blinks some more, but with a little less contempt. "Really?" he asks.

Danny nods. "Don't take my word for it, though. That kid is hard to read."

Derek looks up to glare at Stiles' retreating figure. "I know."

"But yeah, just a heads up. He's gonna come right out with it and then yell a lot. Just...try not to get angry back."

Derek huffs. "I'll try."

The drive to Stiles' place is silent and, for Derek, extremely awkward, but he's got a feeling Stiles is too pissed off to care. He reached over to rest a few fingers against his neck at one point so he could drain away some of the pain from the burn, and though Stiles didn't push him away (since it probably stung like shit), he certainly didn't look happy about it. He points to his window when they get out of the Jeep, disappearing inside of his front door. Derek can hear him talking to his dad about stuff for a few minutes, and then he's in his room to open his window and let Derek slink inside.

"Before you say anything," Derek starts, but Stiles cuts him off:

"No, fuck that," he says. "Don't even think about that. You know now, right? How you feel? Because you need to know for this conversation."

Derek is usually mesmerized by Stiles' being so terrifying, but right now he's actually a little scared of it since it's actually directed at him now. Obviously Stiles can't hurt him with his own brute force, but there's a million other things he could slip into Derek's food. "I know," he says quietly. If Stiles is going to be angry then he's at least going to try and not be, just like Danny suggested.

Stiles nods once before sitting on the edge of his bed and crossing his arms. "I love you too."

Derek is completely taken aback at that. "What?"

"Did I fucking stutter?"

"No, I just—"

"You just _what_? Figured it'd be more romantic? I'm not even wearing a shirt, Derek. Excuse me for not getting flowers."

Derek shakes his head, leaning against the wall beside the window. "That's not what I meant either, I—"

"_What_, Derek? My dad knows you're up here, so make it quick. He'll want to check up on us and I—"

"Would you shut up?" Derek snaps, eyes flaring red. "I _am_ trying to fucking hurry and you keep interrupting me!"

Stiles rolls his eyes. "Whatever."

Derek growls from deep in the back of his throat. "I know you hate it when people tell you how scary you are, but that's what made me realize it. That's what all of us wolves are into, apparently... Adorable people who wield weapons and usually end up covered in blood. It lets us know that you can protect yourselves if you need to but that you can still help us forget what we are every now and again. You had a sick enjoyment to Peter's death and I... I was so scared that I fell in love."

Stiles blinks back for a few moments. "That's it?" he asks at length. "Because I'm scary?"

Derek averts his eyes. "That's just how it started, but now everything else has flooded in as well. The way you crack off lame jokes and actually expect more than just Scott to laugh, and how you explain everything with wild hand movements, and sometimes you just stand in front of the mirror above the couch at my place and poke yourself in the face like a retard."

Stiles looks softer now, but still angry, so Derek continues:

"You get emotional over dumb moves and talk to yourself when you think no one is watching and give the _dumbest_ comebacks to insults that Scott high fives you for anyway. Even Jackson likes how dumb you can be. You're annoying, but it gets made up for when you come up with ideas that save our asses and kill things like you did tonight. And..." He trails off, looking Stiles over. He's looked at him plenty of times, but never like this. Never when he knows that he's in love. He's got those brown eyes and his moles and pale skin and big hands and every time Derek looks at him he just sees his stupid face making a stupid joke but when he looks at just the neck down there's an entire grown man there, with broad shoulders and a strong chest and a toned stomach and holy shit, no wonder Derek is still turned on. "And I've never really noticed before since I just realized I wanted you, like, twenty minutes ago, but you are hot as _fuck_."

Stiles looks taken aback for a moment, but then the anger is right back again: "You know all that and you're only just in love with me _now_?" He stands, hands balled into fists at his sides. "No way, fuck you. You think all those things are annoying as fuck, you can't just—"

Derek suddenly can't take it anymore. He slams Stiles up against the wall by his door, using both of his hands to push both of Stiles' arms above his head, and bares his teeth. "I'm sick of your shit," he growls.

Stiles glares. "Sick of it? Really? That's all you've got?"

Derek roars at him, eyes red. "I've got more," he spits back. He's got so much more than that, he's just sure that Stiles doesn't want any of it. Love him back or not, he's probably too angry.

"Yeah? You better fucking show me then."

Derek takes that as an invitation. He kisses Stiles hard, honestly surprised when Stiles immediately starts kissing him back. He lifts up one leg to press his knee between Derek's legs, using the other to wrap his ankle around the back of his calf. Derek bites at his bottom lip before trailing tongue and blunt teeth down to his collarbone, dropping one hand from above Stiles' head and sliding down to his hip, slipping three fingers into the top of his jeans. He lets go of Stiles' arms altogether so he can drop his other hand to Stiles' other hip, and Stiles drops his hands down to tug at his shirt.

Derek pulls away from the kiss at that, breathing heavily. Stiles' eyes are nearly black with lust, pupils blown wide, and his heart is beating fast, but not out of nervousness. He really does love Derek. He can smell it now, rolling off of him in waves.

"I want you," he says, staring directly into Derek's eyes.

Derek licks his lips. He wants Stiles too, but should they? The sheriff is downstairs and they just realized it today, so maybe they should wa—

Stiles darts his head forward slightly, dropping a quick kiss to Derek's lips, before speaking a single word: "Please."

Derek is lost after that, nodding once before kissing the teen back hard. Stiles isn't even eighteen yet, but his birthday is in two months, so it'll be fine enough. He pulls away from Stiles completely, yanking his shirt over his head and throwing it aside. Stiles is instantly at him again, tugging at the front of his jeans to get him over to the bed. Derek pushes him onto his back, staying to his side so he can undo his jeans and push them and his boxers to the floor. Stiles' own fingers flail at his own belt, eventually getting it all undone and getting his off as well.

Derek drops a hand to one of Stiles' thighs, hitching it up slightly so he can settle comfortable between his legs, soaking in the way it feels to simply be pressed together.

"Just so you know," Stiles says, looking down between them, "you're hot as fuck too."

Derek breathes a laugh, looking down as well. "Hot or not, your dad better not come in."

Stiles cringes a little. "Maybe we… No, fuck that. I want you _now_." He yanks him down for a kiss, darting his tongue inside to drag across the roof of Derek's mouth.

So Derek goes with it. His entire being is screaming for it; he doesn't know if he could stop anyway. He doesn't care that they're both gross after the fight, he bends down to Stiles' ear, biting the lobe once before whispering, "Know what I want to do?"

Stiles swallows tightly. "What?" he chokes out huskily.

"I want to stretch you with my tongue and I take you from behind."

Stiles lets out a guttural sort of sound that Derek counts as a good sign. "Uh, yeah," he says. "Yeah, that'd be good."

Derek pulls away then. "Hands and knees," he instructs.

Stiles doesn't hesitate, rolling over and arching up.

Derek doesn't wait either, bending straight down and dragging his tongue against him. Stiles lets out a real moan, dropping his head to the pillow in front of him. Derek finds that Stiles is a talker right about then, and he doesn't stop until Stiles is literally beginning him to "just fuck me already" because "oh my god, that feels so good, I'm going to fucking murder you".

He pulls away and looks around, looking for wherever Stiles keeps his lube. Every teenager has a bottle; Derek does and he's not even a teenager.

Stiles rolls and reaches into his nightstand, tossing out a condom as well.

Derek licks his lips. "We, uh…don't need that, if you don't want it. Wolves can't get or transfer anything."

Stiles grins, grabbing it and tossing it onto the floor as he rolls back. "Sounds good to me."

Derek nods, grabbing the bottle and opening it up. Just as he's squirting it onto his fingers, the idea of what's happened really hits him. He's going to have sex. With _Stiles_. He knows that would terrify him any other time, but right now… Well, right now Derek is in love and wants to mold himself over every inch of his body, so he's not too concerned about it.

He slickens his length up before tossing the closed bottle to the side, then kneeling up higher and placing one hand on one of Stiles' hips and the other in the small of his back. "Just tell me if it hurts," he says. "Are you ready?"

Stiles blows out a deep breath before looking back at him with a grin. "Hell yeah I'm ready."

Derek nods, and with what he knows is a red-eyed sheen he pushes in, sliding in slowly until just his head is in before waiting a few seconds and sliding in the rest of the way. Derek doesn't sense any pain on Stiles as he breathes deep, and he's glad, because being inside of him is like… It's like heaven. It's deep and full and everything that Derek's ever wanted.

"Hey," he says, bending over Stiles' back to put his head in the crook of the teens shoulder. "You good?" he asks, kissing his temple.

Stiles nods. "Yeah. Yeah, now I am. Moving would be _great_."

Derek nods, leaning back up so he can slide out just as slow. He keeps moving slow for a little while longer, making sure that Stiles is comfortable, before swallowing tightly and staring to move faster.

"Oh my _god_," Stiles chokes out, hands gripping tightly to the sheets. "Don't ever slow down. Ever. Never stop."

Derek smirks a little, noticing in a haze that his claws and fangs are beginning to poke out. The way his hands are placed don't injure Stiles at all, so he doesn't act to put them away at all. "Kay," he breathes, speeding up even more.

Stiles moans loud and unabashed, and something about the sheriff nags in the back of Derek's head, but he ignores it as he pushes in and out of Stiles, beginning to slide his hands around his body just to _feel_ him. He notices vaguely that Stiles _doesn't_ _stop talking_, but he also realizes that he likes it, the way that his voice comes out in breaths and that he sometimes cuts off in the middle of a word and Derek never thought in his entire life that Stiles never shutting up would turn him on, and yet here he is.

"Derek, I—" he suddenly chokes out. "Derek, please, I—"

Derek manages to retract the claws from his hands before pulling out of Stiles completely, and the teen gives a huge sound of protest for a split second before he realizes that Derek is turning him over so that they can see each other.

"Shit," he says as Derek is forcing his fangs away since it's so much easier to use teeth in this position and he doesn't want to risk it. "You look _wrecked_."

Derek just smirks again and pushes back inside of Stiles, watching the way his eyes drift shut and his head falls back against the pillows as he moans. "Oh yeah," he says, dropping his hands to grip at the sheets. "That is _exactly_ where I want you for the rest of my life."

Derek licks his lips and bends down over Stiles' body, kissing him hard as Stiles lets out the loudest moan he has all night. Convenient, really, since it's muffled.

"Shit," he chokes out, tilting his head to the side as Derek starts to kiss down to his neck to suck at the skin there. "Derek, I—I might—I don't want to—not yet—I—"

Derek gets what he's trying to say and stops moving so quickly, stroking in and out of Stiles at a slow speed that's probably considered intimate. With the way that they're staring at each other and the way that he's got his hands now wrapped around his neck, it probably is.

Okay, so it definitely is.

Stiles pulls him down and kisses him soft, letting out breathy little moans in the middle of it. "I changed my mind," he says. "Slow is pretty good too."

Derek agrees with him, dropping down to the other side of his neck to suck the skin some more. He doesn't even realize that he sped back up until he's going as fast as he was before, but Stiles doesn't seem to mind, moaning and talking into Derek's ear and _fuck_.

Stiles pulls him down for a kiss that's almost punishing at that point, whispering something about touching him. Derek bends down so that his elbows are beside Stiles' head, and Stiles crooks his own arms so that his hands are resting on the sides of Derek's face. He lifts up one arm and reaches down between him and Stiles, wrapping his hand around Stiles' cock.

The teen lets out another moan and the gibberish equivalent to "don't stop", so Derek doesn't, getting Stiles closer until the teen stops breathing for a second, and then he's let out a moan low and hard, coming over Derek's hand and onto his stomach. Derek rides into him, feeding off of the sounds that Stiles is making, before coming as well a few moments later, letting out his own sounds of release, and he's pretty sure Stiles' name is mixed in their somewhere.

They lie like that for a long time, staring at each other. Derek still has his arms resting by Stiles' head and Stiles has both hands on the sides of his face.

And it's then that it really hits Derek. Derek is in love with Stiles. Stiles loves him back. This is a real thing that's going to happen. Boyfriends.

The sheriff is going to murder him.

Stiles eventually speak: "As much as I love this, my dad might have been waiting for that to stop before coming to give us the 'love talk'."

Derek swallows tightly. "Should I go?"

Stiles sighs. "You probably should. Obviously you're going to have to talk about it with him later, but it'd be best if we didn't just bang before it. Even after a fight would be bad, covered in blood an' all."

Derek nods, pulling out slowly so he can get up and get dressed in the same clothes Stiles gave him earlier. Stiles gets up too, throwing on a pair of sweats before pushing the window open.

"Text me when you wake up tomorrow," Stiles says, sitting on the ledge.

Derek nods, crawling out. "Call me when you do. You sleep in later than I do." He hops down to the ground.

"Derek, wait."

Derek looks back up at the teen. "Yeah?"

Stiles is smiling. "I love you."

Derek is used to hiding his smiles, so now when he goes to smile now he automatically tucks it away, but then he realizes that this is Stiles—Stiles, who is the most terrifying idiot in history—and that Stiles is in love with him. Paige was in love with him, but Derek ruined it. Kate never was. Jennifer might have been, but she didn't exactly show it well. But now Stiles… He may have got Derek sick to his stomach that one time, but ever since he's been watching out for him. It was like all of those comments from the others in the living room that next morning imbedded themselves without him knowing it and he started to take care of Derek. Derek is a shitty alpha and he knows it, and Stiles must have noticed too and started to try and fix it.

So when Derek starts to cover up his smile, he stops. He just lets it show, because Stiles is weird, but love is weirder. He just hops back onto the roof and bends to kiss him, lingering as long as he can. "I love you too," he whispers.

And for the first time since Derek can remember, he runs back home with a bounce in his step. When he gets back to the condo, he sees that all four of his betas are crammed onto the couch to grin at him.

"So how was it?" Isaac asks.

Derek isn't even embarrassed. "Amazing. He didn't even smell like anyone since he was a virgin."

"Ew, details," Cora mutters.

"Those are what I _live_ for," Erica says, grinning. "Is he a screamer?"

_That_ makes Derek blush. "He talks a lot."

Boyd chuckles. "Sounds like—"

Erica elbows him hard. "Fuck you."

Derek just rolls his eyes goes passed them to his room at that, ready to sleep better than he has in years.


	8. The Interrogation

[Chapter summary: In which Derek comes over for brunch and takes his betas out for ice cream. Also love. Lots of mushy, icky, wonderful love.]

**8: The Interrogation**

"_Everyone says that love hurts, but that is not true. Loneliness hurts; rejection hurts; losing someone hurts. Everyone confuses these things with love, but in reality, love is the only thing in the world that covers up all the pain and makes us feel wonderful again."_

_STILES  
Sunday…_

Stiles wakes up the next morning, warm and sated and… He sighs, looking at where his dad is sitting at his desk chair. "Good morning," he mumbles into his pillow.

His dad, Patrick, grins a little. "So how was your talk with Derek?"

Stiles groans. "Please don't arrest him."

He snorts. "I'm not going to arrest him, son. You're barely two months away from your own decisions. I just want him over for brunch."

"Yeah, I figured you would. What are you going to talk about?"

He shrugs. "Not sure yet."

Stiles nods, sitting up. "I'll call him."

"Good." His dad stands. "Nice hickies, by the way."

Stiles doesn't even care to cover them. "Thanks," he mutters, grabbing up his phone as the bedroom door shuts.

Derek answers right away, sounding like he's been up for hours. "Morning."

"Uh, yeah, hi. My dad wants you over for brunch."

He can _hear_ Derek cringe. "Damn. What should I wear?"

"Jeans and a t-shirt are fine. It's not a first impression or anything. He likes you already; he probably just wants to make sure I won't get bit or something."

"That's fair. I'll be over in thirty minutes. I need to shower still."

"Yeah, me too. See you soon."

"Mmhmm. Love you."

Stiles smiles. "Love you too."

Stiles waves at Derek to come up through the window when he shows up, both of them letting out deep breaths.

"Your heartbeat is—" Derek starts, but Stiles just grabs the front of his t-shirt and yanks him down for a kiss. Derek kisses him back hard, only pulling away when the sheriff yells at them from downstairs:

"Really, Stiles? He couldn't just knock?"

Stiles huffs, glaring at the door. "Your heartbeat too, dude."

Derek nods. "I've never met someone's parents before."

"I've never had to have someone meet my parents before."

"I guess we're in the same boat then."

Stiles nods as well, taking one of Derek's hands. "Let's get the hell across this ocean and get it over with, then."

Derek rolls his eyes, letting Stiles pull him towards the door. "You're not funny."

"Nonsense, I'm hilarious."

Derek's second eye roll is fond. "Alright, you're pretty funny."

They swing the door open to see Stiles' dad right outside of the door. "You're also taking forever," he says with an evil sort of smile.

Stiles swallows tightly. "Are you going to shoot him?"

"No, but I might shoot _you_ if you don't get your ass downstairs for all the food I made."

Stiles huffs. "Fine," he says, tugging Derek after him. His dad follows a little after, probably watching to see how much they're panicking.

Derek bends down to Stiles' ear to whisper, "He has a gun on his ankle and a grenade. A _grenade_, Stiles."

Stiles elbows him. "Shut up before he thinks you're telling me my ass looks great."

"Your ass does look great."

"I can hear everything you're saying, you know," the sheriff says in a mock whisper.

Stiles glares back at him before glaring at Derek. "See?"

Derek just grins, pushing him into the kitchen. "Look, orange juice!"

Stiles frowns. What was that look for?

Everything is set up already, which isn't too surprising. Derek sits on Stiles' left and his dad gets the right, the three chairs spread around the circular table.

"Before you ask any questions," Stiles starts to blurt, but his dad cuts him off:

"You wish, kiddo." He dishes his plate up, Stiles and Derek following suit. Once they've got piling plates and they've had a few bites, the interrogation begins…

They're mild at first, like what schools Derek has been to (just BHHS, no college) and where he's worked (nowhere, 'cause he's rich off his ass) and how many times he's been arrested elsewhere (nowhere, yay) and Stiles knows he knows all of that because of background checks so it's totally pointless. That's when the personal things come, though… His previous girlfriends and why they're not present (he felt bad after those answers), other whatevers, and Stiles' personal favorite…

"Why do you like my son, then?"

Derek gives Stiles a stink eye. "Because he's an idiot."

Stiles rolls his eyes.

The sheriff chuckles. "Though true, it's not exactly what I wanted."

Derek's eyes soften, and Stiles knows he's going to give an actual answer now: "Because my wolf convinced me."

Stiles' eyes widen, but the sheriff buzzes his lips. "I have no idea what that means, but it sounds heavy."

Stiles, on the other hand, knows exactly what it means, and it is _very_ heavy. Werewolves have two hearts, so to speak: the human side and the wolf side. The human runs off feelings and emotions and other stupid things, but the wolf runs solely on instinct, which means it chooses exactly what it needs to survive the very best it can. And Derek's wolf chose Stiles. That's why he held him when he was sick, and why his drunk side kept staring, and why he cuddled with him during the instinct-takeover. His wolf was in love with Stiles before Derek was. It all makes sense now.

Derek grins and kicks Stiles under the table. "Shut up."

Stiles laughs, shoving at his shoulder. "I didn't say anything!"

The sheriff smiles. "Why do you like him, kiddo?"

Stiles gives Derek a dull look. "_Because he's an idiot_," he mimics.

Derek rolls his eyes as well.

Stiles grins over at his dad. "He's not as cool as he thinks he is." Then a huff. "My reasons are…smaller. And there's more of them. Like…I figured it out when fighting those dark elves last night. A bunch of habits and stuff flooded my head and I wanted to punch him."

His dad laughs. "That's, uh…exactly what your mom said once."

Stiles frowns. "Really?"

He nods.

Stiles grins over at Derek. "I'll make a list for you later."

Derek smiles. A real smile. "Okay."

Stiles' dad pats the table. "Well, I suppose that's enough. It's a good thing I know about all this supernatural stuff, though, or _you_"—he points at Derek—"would be _very_ off-limits."

Stiles kicks the wolf. "Told you you're creepy."

Derek just shrugs. "I have too many friends anyway."

Stiles huffs, gathering up their two plates. "You are insufferable." He fills up the dishwasher before saying bye to his dad for work and towing Derek up to his bedroom.

"Wanna watch a movie?" Derek asks. "We can use your laptop."

Stiles nods. "Yeah, totally. Netflix or DVD?"

"I don't care."

"Then Netflix it is." He makes Derek kick off his shoes before cuddling up on the bed, dinking around to find something good on his instant queue.

"What's that?" Derek asks, pointing to one.

Stiles pulls it up. "You've never seen Stargate?"

"No."

"Kurt Russel? Portals across space? Sun gods and chicken?"

"Um…no."

Stiles clicks play. "Aliens, dude. And nerds and science and astrology stuff. There's an entire series of it now, though not with the same actors all the way through, which is a shame." He grins up at Derek. "We're official now, right?"

Derek looks around. "I've never watched a movie with someone I've had sex with."

Stiles snorts. "We're totally dating."

Derek smiles again. "Yeah," he says, throwing an arm around his shoulders. "We are."

**XxX**

_Monday…_

Stiles skips school the next day. Actually, everyone does. They're all still exhausted, so they sort of just show up at Derek's in pairs without any warning. Derek and Cora don't seem to mind; they set out chips and salsa and some old fruit punch that was in the fridge and it's relaxed and awesome.

Stiles is lounging on the couch next to Derek, curled in so that he can drape an arm over his stomach and have one of Derek's arms around his back. Of course everyone made fun of them at first, but he didn't much care after yesterday's talk with his dad. That was worse than pretty much anything ever.

Suddenly the door opens, and when Stiles sees Lydia and Jackson he realizes with a start that he didn't even notice they weren't there yet. He should have, too. Jackson would make mounds of fun of him and Derek and Lydia would say—

She smirks, walking over to everyone. "Told you so."

Yeah, that.

He grins back at her, turning away from Derek to sit normal. "I know. Thanks."

She nods, then holding up a huge box in her hands that Stiles didn't notice. "I bring cinnamon rolls!" She also gives Stiles a very subtle wink, so now he's _really_ excited. "One for each couple," she says. Then, to just Aiden, "And a whole one for yourself because you're single."

"We really need to find someone for you, dude," Scott says. "I bet there are tons of people at school who'd go for you."

"Someone I could tell _and_ someone who would be able to get along with all of us?" he asks, incredulous.

"Well, _we_ don't really get along," Isaac says to him, "but we hang out anyway."

He nods. "That's true."

Everyone scarfs down the rolls, and just like that, it hits the wolves in just a few seconds. Stiles isn't sure what he expected, but it certainly isn't all of them freezing.

"Did we break them?" Allison asks, poking Scott's cheek without response.

"Seems like it," Danny says.

Scott leans in front of Derek. "Babe?"

He turns to him, eyes devoid of emotion. That used to be the norm, but the last few weeks it hasn't been so bad, so it's weird to see. "You in there?"

Nothing.

"Well say _something_."

"Something."

Stiles snorts. "Oh my god."

Again, nothing.

"I've got an idea," Lydia says, looking down at Jackson. "Jackson, go kiss Derek on the cheek."

Jackson would never do that in a million years, so when he actually gets up and kisses Derek on the cheek, everyone gasp-laughs.

"Are they going to do anything we say?" Danny asks.

"Seems like it," Allison says as Scott is giving her a neck massage.

"Ooh," Danny says, quick making Ethan do the same.

Lydia gives a smirk before motioning for Jackson to follow her as she disappears into a bedroom, no doubt going to use him for sexual acts. Stiles smiles when that doesn't bother him in the least.

He turns to Derek, grinning at him.

"Whoa," Danny says from where he and Ethan are on the floor. "That's a creepy look, Stiles."

Stiles grins wider. "I'm going to make him tell me all his deepest, darkest secrets."

Allison laughs. "Too bad _my_ boyfriend doesn't have any."

Stiles smirks. "Ask him about the second time you broke up with him, after you knew about werewolves and stuff."

She gives a wide-eyed look and turns around, effectively tuning the other four boys out.

Danny sighs. "Are you sure you should do that, Stiles?" he asks. "Derek is pretty broken."

Stiles shrugs. "To be honest I think he'd tell me everything anyway."

"Are you _sure_? Even Ethan won't tell me certain things?"

Stiles frowns. "Really?"

He nods. "He still won't tell me about his parents."

Stiles sighs. "Fine, I won't ask outright what his deepest secret is. I'll just be more specific, like things I know he'd tell me anyway."

He nods. "That sounds better. Besides, we're not sure if their minds are still active or not. They might remember all of this and then try to kill us. Or they won't remember anything. We'll have to find out when the two hours are up."

Stiles nods, looking back at Derek. "True." He grins at the wolf. "Now stop eavesdropping, I've got personals to go over."

Danny laughs, pulling out his iPod.

Stiles rests his chin against Derek's shoulder. "Look at me."

Derek does.

"What are your top three favorite things about my personality and also top three about me _physically_?"

Allison snorts.

"Allisooon!" Stiles whines.

"Alright, alright." She grabs Scott's hand, tugging him out of the room for their privacy.

Stiles glares at Danny just for good measure, but he's on his stomach over on the second couch now, Ethan sitting on his legs to continue the massage.

Stiles looks back at Derek and kisses his nose. "Same question.

Derek holds up a hand and counts off with his fingers: "One, the way you use your hands when you talk. Two, all your stupid jokes that you actually expect people to laugh at. And three, how you can be cute and sarcastic one second and terrifying with a weapon the next."

Stiles grins. Those are good. "And the physical?"

Derek restarts his fingers: "One, your hands."

Stiles arches an eyebrow. Not one he expected.

"Two, your shoulders."

He frowns. Also unexpected.

"And three…" Instead of putting up a third finger, he reaches out to Stiles' lips, tracing a single finger over the bottom one. That must be a crazy deep instinct to get passed the wolfsbane… Stiles' heart skips a beat and everything. "Your mouth."

Stiles totally giggles, batting his hand away. "Why do you like my shoulders and hands?"

"Your shoulders are broad, so they're perfect to fit my arms around."

Stiles nods. That makes sense.

"And your hands because they're big." He takes one. "I could trace them for hours."

Stiles smiles. "Do you like tracing things?"

"Yes. I could trace you for hours, anywhere. Your hands right now, or your spine while you sleep, or—"

Stiles leans forward, kissing him hard. He loves his wolf.

The next hour and a half passes swiftly, but after that and all of Stiles' questions (and yeah, he totally gets all of Derek and his four betas to each massage a different part of him; he had no idea how sore his entire body was), Allison and Scott come back in.

Allison smiles first at where Stiles and Derek are watching a movie on one couch under a blanket, but then frowns where Ethan is still massaging Danny on the other.

"I think he fell asleep," Stiles supplies.

She huffs. "Ethan, stop massaging Danny and watch TV."

Danny does so, crawling to sit on the floor.

Allison turns back to Stiles. "What all did you ask him?"

Stiles shrugs. "Mostly random stuff after the first few. I thought it'd be fun to wow him with my knowledge about him if they don't remember any of this. Favorites and childhood stories and stuff."

She nods, and she looks like she's going to say more, but instead Stiles' phone starts to ring. He pulls it out of his pocket to see Deaton's creepy smile on the screen.

"What's up?" he answers.

"Hello, Stiles. Lydia texts me that you've discovered another mixture?"

Stiles grins. "Yeah, it's awesome. She brought cinnamon rolls and suddenly all the wolves just _stopped_. Now they're doing anything we tell them to, like massages and telling secrets and stuff. Cool, huh?"

Deaton hums. "Sounds dangerous."

Stiles frowns. "What? Why?"

"Let's experiment. Tell Derek to hurt himself."

"Uh, okay." He puts the phone on speakerphone and sets it aside. "Derek, claws out."

The wolf does so.

"Stab your arm with them."

Derek does, squishing out blood.

Stiles cringes. "Uh, stop and away."

He again obeys.

Stiles picks the phone back up, leaving it on speakerphone. "I see what you're saying," he says to Deaton, "but it's not like we're going to—"

"Think about if these mixtures get into the wrong hands, Stiles. They could get them or any other werewolves around the world to do anything or even kill them straight away. You have to be careful."

Stiles frowns. "Then why did you even have us _do_ the experiments? You _knew_ some of them were going to be dangerous."

Deaton sighs. An actual sigh. Deaton does not sigh. "I think you should come over to my office once this one wears off. I think we should be done with all of these experiments."

Stiles wrinkles his nose up. "Aw, come on!"

"I'm serious, Stiles. We'll talk more in depth when you get here."

"Alright, alright, I'll see you later. Bye."

"Goodbye, Stiles." He hangs up.

Allison gives him a weird look. "Was that a sigh?"

Stiles nods.

"I think you should bring someone with you."

Stiles arches an eyebrow. "The guy's human, dude. I think he's allowed to sigh every now and again."

She shrugs, tugging Scott over to the TV. "Whatever."

Stiles is half asleep when the two hours is over, and he's instantly woken all the way up when all of the wolves start talking at once before instantly cutting off and looking around.

"Whoa," Erica says. "How'd I get over here?"

"Who turned the TV on?" Cora asks.

Derek's mouth hovers over Stiles' ear. "Not that I'm complaining, but I don't remember taking over the entire couch."

And suddenly a scream comes from a room that puts Lydia's banshee to shame, and out comes Jackson in full make-up, being eye-shadow and lipsticks and blush and everything in between.

Lydia comes out after him, laughing. "I got _pictures_!" she says, holding up her phone. "I got _evidence_!"

Everyone else laughs as well, except of course Derek, who snorts and lies back down behind Stiles.

"I thought you were just going to make him eat you out or something," Stiles says.

"I did that first," she says, "but obviously I had to have some fun with it."

Jackson whirls to glare at her. "You are a _monster_."

She shrugs. "It was revenge for calling me dead weight."

He gapes a little. "That was two _years_ ago!"

She smirks. "So is that shade of lipstick, but you've got it on anyway."

He groans before disappearing back into a bedroom, no doubt going to clean his face off.

"So...what did you give us this time?" Aiden asks.

"Yeah," Ethan says, "'cause none of us remember anything."

"Cinnamon rolls," Lydia says, going to sit on Danny's back since he's taking up the whole of the other couch. He stirs, but doesn't wake.

"You gave Danny a massage for like, over an hour," Stiles says to the twin.

He shrugs. "I've done that before anyway. He always falls asleep eventually."

Lydia smiles at him. "I know; he's _always_ tired."

Ethan nods. "Really good at hiding it, though."

Aiden raises an eyebrow. "Really?"

They both nod.

Stiles stretches it, scooting down the couch a little. "I should probably go talk to Deaton before I pass out all the way."

Derek leans over to frown. "What for?"

"Just to talk about stuff. I'm surprised at you, actually. You haven't yelled once about the concoction in the rolls."

He shrugs. "What I don't know can't hurt me."

His four betas gasp.

"Stiles, oh my god," Isaac says. "You _changed_ him."

Stiles grins. "Accidents happen."

Derek hugs him tighter. "Want me to come with you?"

"Nah," Stiles says, hugging his arms back in their spooning position. "It sounded like he just wanted me since it was him and I who started it."

Ethan pipes up at that. "Wait a minute, all of those were _Deaton's_ idea?"

Derek realizes that, yeah, he didn't know that either. "It was?" he asks.

Stiles gives an evil sort of laugh as he hops across the room to get to the big door. "Bye!" And then he's gone, disappearing outside.

**OoOoOoO**

_DEREK  
Monday…_

Everyone laughs the second Stiles closes the door, making jokes about he and Derek being in "loooove", honestly not caring that the whole thing was Deaton's idea due to the fact that they're pretty much over getting hit with concoctions anyway. Derek just rolls his eyes, knowing they're all glad about it. Not as glad as him of course, but that's not the point.

"You're totally the top, right?" Isaac asks. "Because if you're not it's going to destroy everything I know about you."

Derek rolls his eyes again. "Yes."

Scott groans. "My baby is growing up too fast!"

Allison pinches his cheek. "You're cute."

Cora sits down beside Derek as he sits up, smirking. "So how weird is it to have a boyfriend?"

Derek purses his lips. "It's just weird that it's _Stiles_."

Erica snorts, dropping to sit on his other side. "It's not weird. You're perfect for each other. He takes away your assholery and you make him seem less annoying."

"Anyone who can make Stiles less annoying has mastered true perfection," Boyd says, sitting down beside Derek.

"And then some," Isaac says with a grin, sliding over all four of their laps so that his head is in Cora's.

Derek smiles, looking at his four pack members. "You guys want some ice cream?"

Jackson smiles wide at him from where he's come back in with most of the make-up off. He's getting happier/nicer lately. Derek can't decide if he likes it or not. "I do."

Derek arches an eyebrow, but Cora beats him to talking: "We're sorry, what was that? We can't hear you over having rejected our pack completely."

He _hmphs_, but he can't argue with that, so he says nothing more.

Derek has taken his betas out for ice cream before for birthdays, so he knows what all of them like... Cora likes chocolate anything, Isaac likes anything with cake related flavors or a million sprinkles, Erica is a fruity girl, and Boyd is into the classic nepoliton. Derek himself always gets the same thing: cookie dough and/or cookies and ice cream. Every place has them so he never has to look through all the flavors.

"Have I ever told you how much I love you?" Erica asks.

Derek shrugs. "Maybe once."

"I know _I've_ told you," Isaac says.

"Not as much as me," Cora says.

Boyd eats faster than all of them, so he's already done with his first scoop. "Pretty sure I've never even said it once."

Erica punches him lightly.

He laughs, rubbing the spot. Erica's light punches aren't really that light at all. "I love you, Derek."

Derek gives a good natured eye roll. "Thanks, Boyd."

They go on with their ice cream in silence, and Derek has just swallowed his last bite when Stiles' ringtone comes in. His caller ID picture is just a selfie he took when Derek wasn't paying attention, with his tongue out and eyes wide and it's so positively Stiles that Derek can't help but smile.

"Hey, what's up?" he says in greeting.

"It's finished!" Stiles says brightly.

Derek and his betas frown. "What's finished?" he asks.

"The experiments! Like, I was sad at first, but…it's kind of relieving knowing I won't accidentally kill you guys now!"

Derek's eyebrows shoot upwards. "Wait, really? Deaton doesn't need you to do them anymore?"

"No, dude! He got all of the information he needs. Something about L-O-V-E-M-U-F-F-I-N."

Derek and his betas blink a little. "What?"

Stiles huffs. "Don't you guys ever watch Phineas and Ferb? It's his League of Villainous Evildoers Maniacally United for Frightening Investments in Naughtiness."

Derek snorts. "I really don't think Deaton is a part of—"

"You know nothing!" Stiles hisses. "Anyway, where are you guys at?"

"Ice cream!" Erica yells into the phone.

Stiles laughs. "Derek, I swear to god, I'm going to fall in love with you all over again. Wait for me, I'll be right over." He hangs up.

The betas all "awww" as Derek pulls the phone away from his face, making lovey faces at him all over again.

"Derek and Stiles sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G…" Cora sings quietly.

Derek just gives a good natured eye roll. Of all the people that could have been right about something, it's Peter: _"He'd whip you right into shape. You're just a big ball of darkness and he'd actually be able to make you laugh eventually—that or annoy you so much that you get a higher tolerance and stop being such a dick to everyone."_

Obviously he didn't intend to fall for Stiles. The teen is a huge dork. Derek hated him at first; he saw him as a big ball of loud energy that gave Derek a headache. But here he is now, and he never wants to let Stiles go. So yeah, he didn't intend to fall for Stiles, but….well, accidents happen.

* * *

Concoctions: There's just 1 concoction in this chapter!  
**1.** Cinamon: causes the werewolves to be almost robot-like and do anything that they're told, from making farting noises to killing themselves


	9. Epilogue: Fire with Fire

[Chapter summary: In which Aiden gets a girlfriend, it's Stiles' turn to be experimented on, and everyone is happy.]

**Epilogue: Fire with Fire**

Quick Note: I totally stole Natasha Romanoff for this particular chapter... Crossover worthy stuff, but shh.

* * *

_STILES  
3 Months Later..._

Aiden lets out a deep, nervous breath as Jackson and Danny are doing his hair, arguing up a storm. Stiles would _love_ to know the background of how they became friends at all.

"You look like you're gonna puke," Ethan says, leaning down in front of him.

He nods, earning a snap from Jackson to "stop fucking moving". "I think I'd rather die than do this."

Stiles grins, looking up at Derek. "You."

Derek has figured him out even more in the last three months, so he knows to lean down so that his ear is up to Stiles' mouth.

Stiles cups his hand around the action, knowing Aiden is too nervous to eavesdrop. "We should quick dress you up and—"

"I can hear you," the wolf spits.

Stiles laughs, pushing Derek's head away and just taking his hand instead. After _months_ of Aiden going out on dates with girls (he can only do other guys in three-ways, apparently) that he's either picked out on his own or have been picked out for him, they think they've really found _the one_. Nobody really knew Aiden's type before... Lydia was first, the popular, pretty girl in skirts and heels, with an IQ higher than Stiles' weight and a knack for stabbing people in the back with a few well-placed words. Then Cora, the female-Derek who mostly just hates everyone, dresses in jeans and dull tank-tops, with a Chris or lower in literally every class because she _does not care_, and a knack for stabbing people in the back with a few well-placed knives. Their only similar personality trait is the fact that they are the perfect definition of "strong, independent women who don't need no men".

They had some others... Clingy ones, slutting ones, religious ones, hippies... Everything. One girl ended up making out with someone else on their movie date, another revealed she was actually a guy (which is fine, just not what Aiden wanted; Stiles is pretty sure they still meet up for coffee every now and again), and a more recent one was one of those "I broke your legs so you wouldn't be able to go hang out with any other girls but me" kind of people. Can't have cheaters, can't have penises, and can't have someone who won't let Aiden hang out with the friends he had first—females or otherwise.

This girl, though... She's like a mix of Lydia, Cora, and Erica all shoved into one. Her name is Natasha Romanoff, and she's Russian or something. She's got dark red hair, green eyes, is only two inches shorter than Stiles, and the inexplicable ability to look gorgeous in literally anything. Aiden met her on his own, just downtown on his own to get some coffee, and on the way he happens to witness some creep try and steal a girls purse—except this girl happened to be Natasha, and apparently she's got a little more up her sleeves than soft skin. She kicked that guys _ass_, and while she was sitting on his unconscious corpse she called the cops on him to get picked up. Apparently Stiles' dad arrived, and he knows all the wolves pretty well, so Aiden walked right up and asked him how he was doing. The sheriff asked him the same, blah yadda blah, and then thanked the girl by name, so of course Aiden had to go and ask if this happens often...

"Fuck yeah it does," she had said, popping blue gum. "Apparently having big boobs makes you weak, but it works out fine for me in the end. Other people too, but luckily I'm around." Then she patted Stiles' dad on the shoulder, gave a small salute to Aiden, and walked on down the street in her designer heels, pencil skirt, and fluttery blouse.

Apparently Aiden's weakness is _exactly_ the "strong, independent" woman type like all of the other wolves, so he couldn't help but visit the station to talk to Stiles' dad about it. All he'd give out was her name, but he did learn some more things: she's nineteen, has lived here in Beacon Hills most of her life, does a lot of volunteer work, and graduated from an online school. Stiles learned even more when his dad got home and had a few glasses of whiskey... Back when she was about six and Stiles' dad was still a part of the force, she had an extremely abusive father—one enough that her mother was killed by it. She ran away at twelve, completely disappearing—they looked, too. When she came back her dad was long gone put away for life, so she decided to stay and do everything she could to help out others like her. She works at all sorts of shelters and safe-houses, and she even has code-names at a bunch of different places. Stiles' dad has already tried to get her to join the force, but she likes it better doing other things. She's been in more self-defense classes than anyone can count (she even knows how to use a _sword_), she can drink anyone under the table (she's Russian, of course she fucking can) even though she's underage, and she really likes pepper spraying people.

Aiden was basically in love as soon as Stiles finished talking—with Stiles a little too, 'cause obviously he got her number. Stiles was even there when he made the call. It was...a little inspiring, actually.

"I was wondering when you'd call," she answered.

Aiden had frowned at that. Everyone had, actually. "Uh, yeah, I—"

"Got one of your only human friends to hack into the data base? Yeah, I know. I've got eyes everywhere. Ever heard of Hawkeye?"

Danny had frowned at that. "She's got _Hawkeye_?" Apparently it's basically an internet spying thingy that was way too complicated for Stiles but just perfect for Danny to understand.

"My best friend created it," she says. "He's a fuckin' genius, I tell yuh. Anyway, yeah, dinner sounds good. I don't have any friends besides people that would probably kick your asses even as supernatural creatures, so let's just keep it with your friends for a while. Tell that Stiles kid he listens to shitty music, by the way. I'll call you when I know what else I wanna do. See you around, wolfhound."

And then she had hung up. Yeah, she knew about everything. Who wouldn't with internet skills like that? Stiles was pretty sure _he_ was in love.

And now here they are, getting Aiden all spiffed up for the first date. None of them have actually met her yet, except for the three girls who are all currently with her as she's getting ready.

"Alright, alright, you're done," Danny says, leaning away.

"Finally you look good for once," Jackson says.

Aiden gives him a dark look. "Good enough to get your girlfriend."

He smirks. "Yeah, well, not good enough to keep her."

"You ready for this, big brother?" Ethan asks, grinning.

"Don't taunt him, dude," Boyd says from the back of the room. Isaac is currently passed out against his shoulder, drooling a little. "He looks like he's going to—"

Aiden's phone suddenly goes off, and everyone knows the song he picked out from Natasha's ringtone, so when it's playing Howling For You by the Black Keys, everybody knows _exactly_ who it is.

Stiles is a dick, so he grabs the phone first and answers for him: "Heyuh, Nat! Aiden's having a panic attack right now, so he can't come to the phone. Would you like to leave a message?"

Aiden snarls at Stiles, loud and very wolf-like, as he snatches the phone back. "Hey," he says to her.

Stiles just barely hears her laugh in the background. "Your friends are cute, but I'd like to punch that one in the face. Firstly, stop worrying, you'll get wrinkles. Second, I'm ready, so I'm hoping you are too. I don't like waiting."

He nods, then quick rolls his eyes at himself. "Yeah, I'm ready."

"Good, I'm outside. Hurry up your furry ass or I'm gonna be howlin' for you a lot more than you are for me."

Aiden's eyebrows shoot up. "Uh, yeah. Yeah, I'm coming out now." He shoves his phone away. "Am I allowed to be in love yet or should I be scared?"

Isaac yawns very loudly from where Boyd just woke him up. "Terrified."

Derek smiles down at Stiles, squeezing his hand a little. "I know the feeling."

Stiles totally giggles. "I hate you."

He nods. "I love you, too."

All of the guys shuffle outside, letting Aiden get shoved to the front where he can have a panick attack on his own. Natasha is out there in her usual jaw-dropping look, crazy high heels and short dress and dangly jewelry and Stiles totally wishes he could see Derek in a dress but he also knows it wouldn't look near as good as it does on her.

"I have an idea," Derek whispers into his ear as Aiden and her are both walking forward. Aiden looks mesmerized, Natasha looks...Stiles honestly can't tell. He doesn't know her well enough to read her yet.

Stiles looks up at his wolf, an eyebrow arched. "What sort of an idea?"

He leans down his ear. "Hire a witch to turn _us_ into girls so _we_ can look like that."

Stiles laughs, loving how similar their trains of thought are. "That is the best idea ever." He pushes up on his toes and kisses his nose. "I bet Lydia could learn witchcraft super easy."

He snorts, pushing Stiles back down. "I'm not going to make any of our friends learn witchcraft. It's dangerous."

"So? Do you want to see me in a dress or not?"

He fists a hand into Stiles' t-shirt. "I don't care if you've got a dick or not to see you in a dress, so don't push it."

Stiles rolls his eyes. "Somehow I doubt I'd be very attractive in a dress with these legs."

Derek grins, dropping his other hand to Stiles' hip. "Come on now, you've got great legs."

"Get a room," Isaac mutters, shoving between them before walking over to where Cora is. She instantly cradles his head against her chest, and Stiles is pretty sure he passes right back out when she quick sits down on the grass next to the sidewalk.

"What's got into him?" Stiles asks, leaning against Derek's side.

Derek tilts his head, looking over at Cora, and she nods. "It's the anniversary of his mother's death," he says softly.

Stiles' heart falls a little. "Poor puppy..."

Derek nods, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. "He'll be alright. He's got us."

Stiles grins around at all of them... Aiden is fumbling over his words and Natasha is smirking a little. Allison is making faces from behind Natasha and Scott is trying not to laugh. Lydia is flipping Jackson off for god knows what and he's just smiling dreamily at her. Ethan is giving one of those "they grow up so fast" looks at his brother and Danny is rolling his eyes. Isaac is of course already passed out and Cora is playing with his hair as she stares down the road. Boyd is elbowing Aiden every time he stutters too many times and Erica keeps giving Natasha knowing looks. And then there's Derek and Stiles, standing there staring at people...

And they're happy. Even with all of the darkness around (the last three months have been as randomly hellish as always; sirens, mummies, ectcetera), they've figured out how to survive through it and _be happy_. Even Aiden's got someone now—someone who's as terrifying as all of the other girls, even. What is it with werewolves and people who like to occasionally destroy things? Lydia breaks people that annoy her, Erica breaks cars (Stiles will never forgive her), Cora breaks...well, anything she feels like, and now Natasha breaks those who deserve it. Danny's the most peaceful out of all of them and he can still fuck up a dark elf with a spear pretty damn good.

And here they are, being pretty damn good at fucking things up together. Stiles rather likes it.

"Hey, try this for me," Derek suddenly says.

Stiles frowns, looking at the water bottle that Jackson just handed him. "I'm afraid Jackson put some weird thing in it like you and Lydia have been."

Stiles _hmphs_. "Annoying prick." He takes it, knocking some back right away. "Tastes fine to..." He trails off, frowning. "Why the hell would I be able to tell if there's wolfsbane in this when I'm human?"

Derek shrugs, taking it back and taking his own drink from it. "Just a thought."

Stiles gets a very bad feeling, and it's confirmed when he feels the dreaded tingly feeling in his hands. "No way," he whispers. "No way no way no way."

Derek laughs, and then all of the other werewolves are laughing too—plus Natasha, who probably knows what's going on too because she's fucking psychic. "It's not wolfsbane," he says. "It's...something else that I got from a new friend."

Stiles' eyes widen over at Natasha. "No way."

She smirks at him and wiggles her fingers in a shitty wave.

"I changed my mind," he says, stepping away from Derek. "I don't like you. Aiden, quick, get out while you still can!"

"Are you kidding?" he says, shoving his hands into his pockets. "You did this to be hundreds of times. _This_ is our revenge, asshole."

Stiles groans, and something else happens that he wasn't ready for... Fire.

"Holy shit," Scott says. "Dude, fire just came out of your ears."

Stiles wrinkles his nose u p. "My...what?"

"Get annoyed again," Erica says, stepping up in front of him.

"What? I can't get angry on command, you have to—"

She holds up none other than the _steering wheel to his car_. "Just like old times, huh?"

He narrows his eyes at her, and suddenly his head feels hotter. "That's a low blow, dude."

She gives a grin. "You did it again! That's so cool!"

He rolls his eyes, shoving her away from him. "Is my hair on fire?" He reaches his hand up and notices nothing unusual. "Somebody video tape this, I totally can't see anything."

Lydia comes up to him at that. "Figure out if you can control it even if you're not annoyed." She grabs his hand and holds it palm up. "Just...think about it."

Stiles rolls his eyes again. "That is the dumbest idea I've—" And just like that, it sparks upwards, creating a flame that just...sits there in his palm. "DUDE!" He turns to Derek. "You are the worst best boyfriend ever. Make me test things more often, would you?"

He gives Stiles a dull look. "Yeah, and when you get as sick as I was, we'll talk again."

Stiles winces a little, which puts the flame out. "Yeah, still sorry about that."

"Do it again!" Cora calls, somehow quietly, from the grass.

Stiles pulls in a deep breath and, holding up both palms, lets out a pillar of flames from his hand. He laughs loud. "This is so cool!" He looks over at Natasha. "What is this stuff, anyway?"

She hums. "It's a secret."

Stiles huffs, which makes the flames grow before dying down completely. "You are all so annoying."

"But you love us anyway," Allison says, grinning.

Stiles looks over at Derek. "Yeah, I guess so."

Derek elbows him. "Shut up."

Stiles elbows him back. "No, you shut up."

Another shove, harder so that Stiles stumbles a little. "No, _you_ shut up."

Stiles raises his arm. "No, _you—_"

Natasha comes out of nowhere and manages to bonk both of them together. "You two are disgusting." She turns around to Aiden. "I like your friends more than mine; they're louder and easier to read. Come on, I'm hungry."

And so they leave, just the two of them, in Jackson's Porsche because he's "nice now", so he claims.

Stiles looks up at Derek. "Does this mean I get to wear a dress now?"

Boyd gives him a weird look. "You guys definitely have the weirdest relationship out of all of us."

"That's right!" Stiles says brightly, holding up a palm so that more flames flare up. "I'm the cutest and he's the hottest."

"Nuh-uh," Allison says. "Isaac is the cutest."

Scott nods. "He's definitely the cutest."

Isaac stirs at that, snuggling more into Cora's lap.

Stiles sighs. "Yeah, he's definitely the cutest."

"On the bright side," Jackson says, setting a hand on his shoulder, "you're definitely the most annoying!"

Derek shoves him away. "Only I get to call him annoying."

Jackson rolls his eyes, going over to Lydia. "Sure thing, _Der-Bear_."

Stiles bursts into laughter. He only calls Derek that when he's _really_ annoying him.

Derek glares down at Stiles. "How did he hear about that?"

Stiles gives a guilty shrug. "Accidents happen?"

He huffs. "Burn him for me?" he asks.

Stiles grins and, whipping out his wrist, flicks out a whip of fire that smacks against Jackson's ass. He yelps, swatting it away, before glaring a bit with blue eyes.

Stiles just laughs, linking arms with Derek. "Don't worry," he whispers to his boyfriend. "I'm gonna burn your ass next."

Derek purses his lips. "Maybe I _won't_ go home with you tonight."

Stiles grins. "You love me."

The wolf sighs. "Yeah, I do. My mistake."

Scott elbows him at that point. "Leave my baby alone."

Stiles flicks out another fire whip. "I can take care of my_self_, Scott."

He smiles. "I really doubt it."

So Stiles has fire powers for the next two hours and Aiden is getting himself a girlfriend. So yeah, everyone is happy.

_**-The End-**_

* * *

Obviously there were no more wolfsbane concoctions in this chapter, but Stiles is certainly getting what he deserves :P Anyway, that's it guys! Took me literal months to do it and finally here I am! There were a couple requested concoctions that I didn't end up using, one of them being mint in which the wolves go into a mega-protection mode sort of a thing. There were some others that I came up with on my own and didn't use either, buut whatever. I think I accidentally changed up some of the agreed upon plants too… But hey, accidents happen ;) …. Okay but I really am sorry about that whoops  
But yeah, there you have it. *Hearts all around*


End file.
